BT COUPLE - VIEWERS BEG: 'MAKE IT STOP'
MILLIONS of viewers have contacted British Telecom urging them to end the pathetic relationship at the heart of their long-running series of TV adverts.
The latest instalment shows the ginger streak of p1ss sitting on a terrace, apparently in Cornwall, emailing his mind-crushingly tedious live-in lover.
He has moved because of his job, though some have speculated it is because she hasn't smiled for nearly three years. The relationship now stands at a crossroads, with viewers across the country willing them to go their separate, tiresome ways.
Since 2005 millions have joined the couple on a slow, flat rollercoaster of emotions, that began with him moving in and having the first of many stilted conversations with whoever happens to be in the room.
The drama reached unbearable levels of dullness when she erased all the photos of her monosyllabic children, leading many viewers to assume she was some kind of moron.
But there were also pathetic attempts at light relief, including the teenage son getting into trouble for inviting his friends round to watch a certificate PG film while drinking lemonade.
The only potential excitement came when the ginger streak flirted with a gorgeous girl who was clearly up for all kinds of filth, before deciding, inexplicably, to remain faithful to whatserface.
Meanwhile a recent instalment included a desperate ploy to make him seem more interesting by showing him reading the paper and playing a bit of golf.
TV viewer Emily Francis, from Bath, told BT: "For the love of God, make it stop."