Tennis Thread: the grass court season is here! Who will rule Birmingham? Be the King of Queen's? All your Wimbledon build-up chat this way!...

[PrivateIsles]

Best few weeks of the year starts here!

But yay! Jo Willy has taken the second set in Halle.

Nasty cloud?
Nothing to do with me.

Raahh how could you. I'm sure that's treason. You will be joining me at Her Majesty's pleasure in kazza's tower!

Oh look a big black cloud

It's a nice place to visit, the Tower.

Unfortunately, Dick took the first set against Felix AA ( tie break), going with serve in the second.

Thanks for the updates all. I've decided to start watching tennis again but at the mo I'm cooking one of those so-called quick midweek dinners that ends up taking about 2 hrs and uses every pan in the house

Also it says to mix cornflour and water to make a "slurry" doesn't sound very enticing.

Ok, Tsitsipas breaks in the third set, I leave the room for ten minutes, come back and suddenly it's all gone Tsits up for him?

Just win the sodding match already!

Oh yum Private

slurry

Well, Stefanos is finally through.

Enjoy your tea Private

Can’t believe I’ve got to wait a week to get my Gregg Wallace fix on inside the factory - I feel a letter coming on

I like how Peter Fleming pooh poohed ACs belief that Murray & López would storm this match.

I’ll watch out for the Mac documentary thanks Jane

Fizzy Sue was not happy about Peter's comments, was she? He's right though. It's pretty rude to think that just because they can play singles they can automatically play doubles- against a pair who are having a good season.

Turned tv on at 7pm, and blow me down, tennis is on the BBC Not that I'm complaining.

Someone shoot Mohamed Lahyani.

Catching up on your comments over the last couple of hours. You do brighten up my day

I know I don't need to say it but Dick really is a tosser of the highest order. Actually, save the bullet from Mohamed and use it on Dick

Cornflour is meant to thicken a sauce but I'm not sure it worksfor me! Might be because it's about 10 years old

Sadly Jo Willy lost, but it didn't like an easy win for Federer.

I'm hoping Felix AA is going to be able to see out the match against Dick.

Shut up AC.

You were rubbish at singles and doubles.

They are doubles specialists, because they want to be- not because they were poor at singles.

I'm not sure the Bryans ever really bothered with singles, for example. I think they were always a doubles pair.

Yes kazza I noticed the cornflour was best before Nov 2017 so maybe that's why my slurry was not up to scratch
It tasted ok though.

AC is getting on my wick.

Not much point in posting that really - it's more post-worthy if he's not saying stuff that gets on my nerves.

Hurrah for Felix.

I hope Dick decides that grass sucks too, and goes home.

I have to say the Colombians look quite scary - they’re very big!

Yes Raahh sue can’t believe that everyone doesn’t believe in the miracle return of Andy Murray - it is nice to see him back on court though.

Yes just heard that Kyrgios is out - best news ever!

YES!!!!! Dick has lost

Yayy!!

Talking of dicks.....AC was also saying when Andy was serving not very well that a match court is very different to a practice court. Not for you, AC, you were shite on both

AC is now doling out serving tips - I take it back I haven’t missed him at all.

You see fizzy you all think I'm being harsh but he really is a nauseating f*wit!

Yes! Come on Andy and Deliciano!

Just seen the last two points of Dick's match. He's taking the p*. He wasn't even trying. And then Sue laughs it off by saying that's just the way he plays!

Why does AC so often sound as if he has a massive crush on the player he's talking about? I thought it when he was talking about Stan and he's the same with Andy.

kazza it's not good for my blood pressure, all the Dick stuff.

Why do they all love him so much?