Wenchnet Prague Perv 2014 Coach Trip. Roll up roll up for the Musketeer Tour. Part VII

[MalcolmTuckersMistress]

Please take your seats for the coach departure. We will be leaving shortly. Toilets are located to the rear of the vehicle and there will be snacks available to purchase at a 7,000,000% mark up. All chickens must be refrained from wandering freely and causing H&S issues.

Wenches must also refrain from smoking cigars post copulation.

Part one

part two

part three

part four

part five

part six

Hannah - I am aware that I will marry Aramis so am content to share right now.

Oh nothing MTM. Forget about it.

I have had them for years but it may well have been years since I last wore them. But if there is going to be dancing I need nice shoes.

I've had a homework ruck this morning too. Big DD has to build a wind turbine from junk for science. Utterly pointless and the dog has chewed a vital component.

I've torn all my hair out and flounced - it has to be handed in Monday, having been given out 3 weeks ago, so I'll have to revisit the hell at some point over the next 2 days. At the moment I'm sticking my head in the sand.

I want to go out for cocktaills too

I agree menopause is going to be shit.

Ok Ok don't.....

This -

HannahHorvath Fri 21-Mar-14 21:27:22

Hi AnotherHelen, good luck getting a word in tonight with the viewathon.

I can't watch either.

I am going offline to watch Stella.

*Malcolm, I hope your womb feels better. If I was there I would give you a lovely tit massage to take your mind off it, whilst pouring prosecco down your neck and feeding you handmade chocolates. The Cardinal would be behind me, banging me senseless for your viewing pleasure. Being that he isn't quite that dirty. But he still wants to make you suffer/enjoy yourself at this 'difficult' time.

Big hugz Hun xxxx

Laterz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxooooxxxxxxxxxx*

Stinkle I feel that no matter what today throws at me all will be fine.

Oh Hannah! I can't believe I missed that!! That really is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.

I think you'll find that I post perlenty of Athos and Richelieu pics too, as well as the occasional d'Artagnan. I shall have to up the Porthos quota.

Aramis remains on top however (if only).

I have a pair of beautiful beautiful shoes. I can stand in them, possibly walk a bit but dancing I think would be a no. I occasionally take them out of the wardrobe just to look at them.

oh Malcolm, I can't wait until you're better and I can pound the living day lights out of you with my gigantic weapon of mass destruction

I have a perfect pair of foot-crippling shoes that would be perfect for cocktails. My feet are wincing at the mere thought of wearing them.

However, I live in the arse-end of nowhere, the bright lights of my nearest town offer the twin pleasures of Yates and Wetherspoons and the last bus home is at 10pm - not that I can stay awake much later these days mind you

Where did it all go wrong?

Not read it all but ROAD TRIIIIIIIIIIP

One of my favourite scenes

S'alright. I didn't really mind much that you hadn't noticed. I didn't really spend that much time and thought on it. I just trying to do my bit. Y'know You just special. Innit Malcolm.

Anyway, I have to go do something called housework, followed by shopping, followed by dog walk, followed by dinner prep.

I would also love to join you all for period cocktails. MTM, I would be hysterical on clothes front by now already, so just as well. But after a couple of cocktails I surely wouldn't give a shiney shite and would start gyrating against anything with/without a pulse, imagining them to be Musketeery, and me some uber hot chikadita.

I become quite the free spirit when liberated by my friends Jack, and Jameson, and Jose Cuervo.

I am a liability but good fun by all accounts I'm the one who makes you feel better about yourselves

My last Jose Cuervo venture almost ended in DH and I not getting married.

Let's celebrate the PC a bit more too. Bless him. He has brought many a sticky knicker smile/phwoarrr/shudder to these threads....

Long live the Cardinal! although this is technically the Dr

Jose Cuervo and I have a very checkered history .

Evil stuff.

Jack is much more amenable

Oooh Anne, I feel we've just had a bondy moment. Do feel free to share make me feel better.

What about Paul Bettany, or Ioan Gruffud, Anthony Head, Sean Bean, Damien Lewis, Kevin McKidd, Joseph Fiennes as potential Mazarins?

Ooooohhh Hannah I just LOVE him. He'd NEVER get abuse like Armand would. No way. Oh, he'd just stroke you and bring you hot water bottles and drinks and do all the house work and cooking and then come back and stroke you and tell you how beautiful you were and how he loves to look after you at this time because your amazing body has created three brats perfect children.

I prefer the Russians - Smirnoff, Vladivar
The occasional Brit - Pimms
And very occasionally a Mexican - Tequila (is Tequila Mexican?)

Oh Stinkle! You sound like you're a fellow country dweller too!

You know (apart from me really not still being here because I'm off doing jobs) tequila is like water for me. I can slam it all night long oo errr! It's when other names start getting involved that the proverbial shit hits the fan.

Really am off now!

See, we can keep this thread going for ages. We can talk random bollocks forever. It's a beautiful thing.

unlike twatting buggery ex dp who is going to get stabbed today if he keeps being such an utter COCK

There are so many, but that particular incident was in Barcelona where I did tequila with the barmaids behind the bar all night. I then proceeded to lie down in the middle of the road and people got off a bus to tie my hair back and give me water because I was vomiting everywhere. He was mightily pissed off because no taxi would take us back to the hotel and when he got annoyed I told him what a catch I was (it was fucking true) and that actually if he wasn't man enough there were plenty of other men falling at my feet (slightly less true, but a bit true).

The next day we had to check out and he made me go on an open bus tour in fucking February.

There have been incidences with Jose and with Aftershock, oh my goodness Aftershock.

Oh yes. Vodka is my weapon of choice. If I'm out on the town it's a vodka red bull sometimes if I'm feeling really Wenchy I have it with tequila thrown in. Magic!

Yes I said Damien Lewis a few threads back.

He would be awesomely evil in a big swishy cloak. Right! I'm off ffs!