Muskesmut Wenchchat and Titillations part IV

(1000 Posts)
MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 00:02:54

Again! Again! Again! Just like what the Teletubbies used to say. That's us. But we have moved on from those colourful little critters and have four (five, six...etc) new play things! The Musketeers of course.

Please don't be shy and join us for some serious deep penetration discussion about this beautiful television drama.

WARNING THIS THREAD MAY CONTAIN NUTS.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fuck you Drink! <fingers up>

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 00:09:57

Yeah! Bitch.

<More fingers up>

Oblomov Sat 08-Mar-14 06:45:40

Drink induced hussy of wenches, fighting -over-- loud ting after Cardinal, Athos, Aramis, Porthos and D'artagnan, thread 3?

Let's Go!! I'm all yours !!

Oh dear, Obloms.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Epic fail on post attempt. Is that the language of the great unwashed the morning after a few too many daiquiris? Huh?

<takes loads of unflattering photos to post on Muskebook>

MavisGrind Sat 08-Mar-14 09:31:22

Just marking territory place in readiness for end of previous thread. Three thousand posts? About Hot Men In Leather?

<Links arms> <Sniffs> We've come so far wenches <wipes tear>

AnneWentworth Sat 08-Mar-14 09:38:52

I feel inextricably linked to my fellow wenches forevermore.

Marking spot.

Oblomov Sat 08-Mar-14 19:29:10

Yippppppeee
Here
We
Are
Thread
Four
Yeeeeee - haaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr

MavisGrind Sat 08-Mar-14 19:29:15

<exhales> And now we're over here and I've run out of pictures. <pouts>

MavisGrind Sat 08-Mar-14 19:31:11

I had thought we didn't link to this thread towards the end of the last. However the hard core wenches will find us and I suspect the rest of MN is --pitying- terrified of us!

LetUsPrey Sat 08-Mar-14 19:33:03

I shall start my contribution to our fourth thread with dillydollydonut.tumblr.com/post/78963937171/im-a-soldier-not-a-vigilante-a-lover-and-a.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 19:34:00

I. Can't. Believe. You. Fucking. Philistines. You. Ignored. My. Poetry. angry

LetUsPrey Sat 08-Mar-14 19:34:50

Shite.

Meant this instead of the fecking web address.

<starts singing Thiiinnnngs can onlyyy get bedderrrrr in a D:ream styleeeee>

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 19:37:50

You are all shite. <kicks a chicken>

AtiaoftheJulii Sat 08-Mar-14 19:38:57

I can't believe we've been here for so long. And that spicy potato wedges are still recipe of the fucking week! (On netbook today in between working.)

Drink, I loved your poetry. I'm getting D'artagnan to write each piece out neatly and do a nice decorated border round the outside.

Mavis, thank you for a fitting finale to the last thread!

AtiaoftheJulii Sat 08-Mar-14 19:40:57

Seeing as it's Sexmas Eve

AtiaoftheJulii Sat 08-Mar-14 19:41:21

"Fuck off, wenches."

AtiaoftheJulii Sat 08-Mar-14 19:41:39

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The cheek of her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 19:45:13

Thank you, Atia. 'Tis just so simple and so beautiful. And powerful. D'Artagnan eill be eise to learn my words by heart.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 19:45:32

Will be wise, fucking iPhone

Oblomov Sat 08-Mar-14 19:49:38

She can fuck right off JOG on, can't she. BITCH.

MavisGrind Sat 08-Mar-14 19:49:45

I, too, found your poetry deeply moving, profound and er, moving (did I say moving?)

I bet D'Artagnan's handwriting is either a) flowery beyond measure or b) 5-year old print. He'd probably weep over it as well.

Oblomov Sat 08-Mar-14 19:50:16

Atia, no more linking , of HER. ok!!

MavisGrind Sat 08-Mar-14 19:51:30

Anyhoo Oblomov - drinking all afternoon y'say? A special event or just general 'Britishness and it's the weekend after all' <nosy>

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 19:52:36

Evening mental fucking wenches! Loving the spread sheets AND THE poetry. I'm happy with cardinal, lasagne and horses I hope we can move on from horses IN lasagne though.

Well cardinal is still horny but also...Athos is STILL a Flump. How funny!

Oblomov Sat 08-Mar-14 19:53:59

Sunshine. Boys riding bikes. Jumping on the trampoline. BBQ. Sat outside in the sun. Glass of wine. And then sat with dh watching football. Continued drinking.....

MavisGrind Sat 08-Mar-14 19:57:36

BBQ! shock You must be in The South. It was dry here Oop North but still cold. I mainly sat on the sofa today, the sun streaming through reminding me just how damn filthy my windows are <poetic>

Evening MTM. No lasagne for you or else your DHs dressing gown wearing will be in vain again

Oblomov Sat 08-Mar-14 19:59:38

Welcome back MTM

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 20:04:27

Interesting fact of the day. Richelieu was BIG on pussy and rrrrrrreally knew what to do with one. No, seriously apparently he had 14 cats!

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 20:05:15

Tomorrow's tea is going to have to be a light salad!

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 20:11:10

You have a very underdtanding husband, MTM.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 20:11:30

JESUS FUCK! Cardinal's fingers give me such a raging lady boner. Imagine them fiddling with you as you were bent over! Best take that large ring off first. Don't want Time Team wondering WTF?! when they dig me up in 400 years.

AnneWentworth Sat 08-Mar-14 20:18:23

After consulting my post its hidden in books on Stalin I can confirm that basically all would shag Porthos given that he presents his guns.

For anyone who needs a reminder

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 20:19:20

It's ok Drink, he can nip to MacDonalds afterwards if he's still hungry <classy>

MavisGrind Sat 08-Mar-14 20:24:32

For some reason it seems strangely apt that the Wenchnet Post-its (now there's a title up there with the Dead Sea Scrolls) are hidden in a book about Stalin. I do hope you leave them there and, perchance years hence, come across them with fond remembrance about how Mavis would shag Athos til he cried. <wistful>

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 20:24:55

I'm totally off any fantasy men who aren't Richelieu. But actually Richelieu not Capaldi, not Doctor "I've ruined the next series of Musketeers for MalcolmTuckersMistress because I'm a regenerating time travelling a twat" Who. Just leather dressed, silver haired, long fingered, cloak swishing, silent staring, SEXmonger, BBC1 Richelieu.

<HORMONES>

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 20:25:59

Oh you should go into a library and place them in random books....then people will wonder what the hell has been going on! Love post its.

AnneWentworth Sat 08-Mar-14 20:53:28

It is in fact a library book.

MavisGrind Sat 08-Mar-14 20:58:48

Oh you must leave them in the library book (having taken a copies of course - you are our thread historian after all). We can then wait for the inevitable "I'd thought I'd found a shopping list but it was much weirder than that" thread in about 6 months <assumes call for Stalin books>

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 21:05:57

Hahah leave the URL for this thread! Winner gets a drawing of a Flump with a huge erection and a speech bubble saying "Milady Milady ooooh Milady"

Here as promised my sexy little wenches....... an intimate glimpse at Hannah. wine
You.Are.Fuckin.Welcome

I'm a little bit afraid of how much I have fallen for you all.

This feels like the real deal.

<sings>

I am a woman in love. And I'd do anything, to get you into my woooorrrrrrrrrlllllddddd

<wine may have been consumed>

<forgives Mavis>

<starts getting the lady horn again>

Well Malcolm, you may be hormonal. But I am LATE.

I'm really starting to wonder.......

I hope Athos won't leave us in the lurch.

Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep, Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep.
But I made up my miiiind, A amm keepin ma baby,
Uh, I'm gunna keep mine an Athos' baby, oh oooooh, uh ooooh

<rubs tummy>

LetUsPrey Sat 08-Mar-14 21:21:03

I have a headache. It feels like my brain is trying to escape my skull via my eyeballs.

I need Aramis to soothe and distract me.

Excellent idea re the sheet with the post-its

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 21:21:13

Unmarried pregnant wench shock

LetUsPrey Sat 08-Mar-14 21:24:58

Hussy

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 21:26:54

I bought a sophisticated dry Italian rosé from Lidl. Fucker is too sophisticated for me sad I should've gibe for the Californian piss medium one. Now I can't get drunk have a drink.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 21:28:33

Well ok then. Here's mine. I hope you like it!

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sat 08-Mar-14 21:30:05

Evening Wenches grin

Only on iPad, we are staying with my parents. So I can't see pictures sad

Back tomorrow night, maybe in time for episode, maybe not.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 21:31:04

Fuck it. I want Porthos.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 21:31:50

Maybe NOT??! What kind of attitude is that. What the fuck are you playing at Ali?

LetUsPrey Sat 08-Mar-14 21:32:06

Alibaba if you open MN in Safari on your iPad, you can see the photos

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 21:33:45

FINGERFINGERSFINGERSHANDSFIKGERSHANDSFINGERSFINGERSFINGERSCLOAKHANDSLEATHERCLOAKFINGERSHANDS!

MavisGrind Sat 08-Mar-14 21:36:56

<distracted> I'm watching last weeks episode again as I was a bit pissed missed some salient points last night.

Honestly. I didn't re-watch Sherlock this much and that's much better telly (although less leather)

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 21:38:30

I think you'll find that the cardinal does not regal in such a common and overenthusisatic behaviour as yours.

He much prefers a much tighter understated lady as he likes to pursue finest things in life and not local bikes. smile

DTINKFECK! What kind

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 21:47:28

What's that Armand my love? WHAT? Dispose of her? But that would be murrrrderrrr! Please, I know she's irritating and covered in unsightly buboes but she's still a human being!

Oh hi there Drink!! Didn't see you there haha. Cardinal is wondering of you would like some of this Iceland prawn ring?

Oh ffs!

DRINKECK! What kind of attitude is that? Any serious wench would neck thee rose and be grateful. When did you go all poshy fussy pants on us??

The Cardinal has refined tastes. But he likes to pull his women out of the gutter.

Now get that vinegar down your gullet like a proper wench and be fuckin grateful!

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 21:51:38

You alright, Hannah?confused

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 21:52:02

Ah, OK smile

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 21:53:14
MavisGrind Sat 08-Mar-14 21:57:24

oooohhhh the music to the Flumps! Brings back right memories so it does <goes all Hovis advert on your ass>

Yay! I have the ability to post one picture. Off to choose carefully.

MavisGrind Sat 08-Mar-14 22:07:47

Ok, so not leather based but still hot!

(just one from the family album <stares pointedly at Hannah)

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 22:11:10

"I can't wait to do away with DrinkFeckArseGirls and finally enjoy MalcolmTuckersMistress all by myself in peace. Look how sexy my jaw is in this photo too. Fucking hell I am so sexy"

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

Fucking hell!! I am getting some serious looks here tonight!

You had me at Iceland prawn ring MTM.

I was all set for spoiler clip but made the gamble that it would be worth the spoilyness to get a glimpse at my intended.

I nearly <relax - I am an expert there was never any real danger> spilt my drink.

I would still do him though. Even with his flump face and with a Joe Pasquale voice. I would fucking do him. Until all the kings and all the kings men, couldn't put flumpy together again.

But I would.

I have plenty of sticky glue.

in my pants

Horses!

Fucking horses!!!!

AnneWentworth Sat 08-Mar-14 22:16:50

I am missing AliBaba at least and possibly more. I read about 300 posts and this is what I have.

Advise of corrections.

Athos
HannahHorvath
Stinklebell
HectorVector
Oblomov

Aramis
AnneWentworth
LetUsPray

Porthos
All mostly as a second.

Cardinal
MTM
Drink

d'Artagnan
Atia

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 22:21:24

Hmmm, funny. Armand is here. We are dining on my lasagna. It's a nee Italian import, Armand likes to try new things from time to time.

HAH!! HAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!

thanks Mavis.

Weeeeeell, I guess the best wench won.

I'm not wan to boast though. <hoicks boob>

MavisGrind Sat 08-Mar-14 22:21:43

<ahem> <coughs> draws attention to name and lack thereof on The Wenches Post-its.

Or is it just a given I get Athos <hope springs eternal>

Sterling work though Anne, sterling work...

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 22:21:54

Hahaha oh Anne that's the best thing!!!!

LetUsPrey Sat 08-Mar-14 22:22:38

Sterling work there Anne.

Look, we could have one each

MavisGrind Sat 08-Mar-14 22:23:46

<gets all fighty with Hannah. Realises Athos has just popped to the cellar for more wine. Realises that Hannah is just perving on the internet rather than having RL lurve with Monsieur Athos. Feels a bit sorry for Hannah>

ANNE - you are officially the winner of Aramis. Always.

I will help you stab any competition to fulfill your dreams of life and lurrrrve with Aramis.

OFFICIAL NOTICE TO MANAGEMENT - Can we have a badge for Anne please. 'If found please return to Aramis' or some such. Thank you kindly.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 22:29:47

Poor old Drink.

<checks copy of Poisoning A Bubonic Wench With prawn Rings For Dummies">

Hallucinations....mmmmmm.

Random ramblings...mmmmmm.

Oh of course he's with you Drink! <smirks> You have a lovely time eating that obvious dried rat delicious lasagne with the clown from the 70s test card Armand! Yum yum yum. <looks at watch> <taps fingers>

MavisGrind Sat 08-Mar-14 22:30:18

Anne you are a star! thanks

<considers having 'MavisGrind has a badge and a vadge' on my tomb stone.> <Realises she was after something a leetle classier>

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 22:31:27

Can you try to not fucking cut and paste from word?

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 22:32:05

Request noted Hannah.

<passes note on to D'Aartagnan and King playing and squabbling over badge maker>

Oh Mavis. Mavis Mavis Mavis.
You're sweet. Really you are.
Maybe in another life Mavis.
But there's only one slut here who's got my heart and massive throbbing cock.
...and for that reason Mavis - am ooot!

It's Hannah. It's always been Hannah.
Come here slutbags <slurp slurp> <lulululululululu> <grinding through leather clothing> <- WITH HANNAH!

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 22:36:38

"OOOH MAVIS BUT LOOK AT MA SEXEH CUM FACE. OOOF YOU WANT IT BABY YOU WANT ME. I HOPE THE WIND CHANGES AND I CAN LOOK LIKE THIS FOREVER!!"

LetUsPrey Sat 08-Mar-14 22:39:02

<approaches d'Artagnan>
<smiles winsomely>

Oh d'Artagnan, you're so handsome and clever. What beautiful handwriting I can see from copying out Drink's wonderful poems. What's that note you've got there? It's from MTM is it? Tell you what, give me the note there's a love and I might let you kiss me.

<takes note>
<destroys note>

AnneWentworth Sat 08-Mar-14 22:39:36

Finally a badge! What has a wench gotta do around here?! Thanking Management kindly.

Hannah - thank you for ensuring Aramis never loses me - he would never be the same.

MavisGrind Sat 08-Mar-14 22:40:17

Yeah yeah yeah.... In your dreams bitches... I was there in 2005, y'know? Fucking loyal, that's me. And I can drink him under the table, and he knows it and he loves it.

>>>> HOLD THE BITCH FIGHTING FOR A SECOND<<<<

Does anyone else love the surprise of another 'choose file' popping up unexpectedly?

Using them spread outedly is great.

I feel like I have constant supply.

Malcolm, you smell sexy tonight.

Are you ..... ovulating......

<feels all warm and aroused fuzzy>

I love my wench bitches.

You're all fucking marvluuuuuuuus!! <opens another bottle>

MavisGrind Sat 08-Mar-14 22:41:38

Right. I'm off out to walk the dog. Is it really that time again..?

AnneWentworth Sat 08-Mar-14 22:43:52

Right MOTD is on and that is my cue for bed and Aramis. See you tomorrow Wenches.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 22:46:27

Mavis you always seem to enjoy a spot of late night dogging.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 22:47:21

<twerks in Hannah's face>

Oh bring it beeee-atch.

I am t'queen of twerking.

Shakes booty at 10,000 rpm in Malcolm's face.

Does arm thrusty thing in front.

Oh yeah bitch, I got this.....

<I like big butts an' I cannot lie, yo other bruvvas can't deny, when a wench walks in with a itty bitty waist....>

<twerk twerk>

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 23:01:04

WHAT IS <\DEL>?!

I know what it is but it's FUCKING annoying.

eerrrmmm Drinkfeck love? YOU OK LOVE?

You on the right thread? THIS IS THE MUSKETEERS ONE. YEAH? YOU KNOW, MALCOLM? THE CARDINAL? LEATHER?

<worries am missing obvious>

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 23:14:23

Cucking mtm and you too use some other word processor and instead of twats I see twats <\del>.

Foams at mouth.

EWOK!!

He looks like a feckin Ewok!

See! I do sci fi shizzle!

<sci fi ho>

My Athos is an Ewok.

But I still so fucking would.

Am beginning to wonder if I'll ever be able to make a sentence without using the word/variations of the word FUCK. FUCKING.

I have limited vocabulary. I am second class citizen. I can't think of anything more intelligent to say.

I JUST LUV A GOOD FUCKING.

<downs glass> <puts episode 3 on> <again>

MavisGrind Sat 08-Mar-14 23:16:28

Back from walking the dogging!

Drink are you on you're phone> I've had the <\del> thing too. I think I was mentioning vadge at the time.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 23:18:07

Mavis you voice of reason!

Yes, yes, yes!!!! I'm on the fucking iPhoneangry

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 23:19:18

so you're saying it's not the bitches trying to drive me mad, it's the magic technology?

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 23:21:16

Is that you, MTM? <innocent>

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 23:21:43

That's me. Now DIE!

MavisGrind Sat 08-Mar-14 23:31:40

Ahh, iphones are both beautiful and the work of D'Artaganan.

Drink, watch you're back, you'll do yourself a mischief.

Right wenches, off to bed. N'night all.

Well I'm on an iphone.

<disassociates self with mad bitches blaming 'the voices in their heads'>

I see <followed by Mavis imagining she is in a world where she gets to shag Athos>

I also see... <Malcolm sooooo thinks she is the Cardinal's only bitch>

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 23:36:42

Well, Hannah. Malcolm is both toothless and wrong!!!

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 08-Mar-14 23:38:54

Right-o she's completely lost it now. This is working well! Everyone stand back! Any minute now Drink is going to go down. And NOT on MY cardinal. On the floor like a wild African deer that has been got with a tranquilliser dart in its ass. <rubs hands> It's why mums go to Iceland!

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 23:40:29

In your fecking wet dream, old tart.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 08-Mar-14 23:43:05

Off to drift off in Armand's arms. Dod I hear you say finger, m? Yes, they are very busy. Night night. wink

<checks latches on wenches windows>

<evil snigger>

Laters bitches!

<Chris Rea - Road to Hell>

Late night trip to 24hr tesco/asda - not fussy, where am headed <nonchalant> <never used word n

Fucking fingers! I mean iPhone!

aaaaaaannnnnnnnnnyway......

...where were we... Oh yeah.. Late night trip blah blah. Nonchalant. Haven't used word nonchalant before in ages. Blah blah...

Anyway was only feckin here for some duck tape. And some cling film. And some Loctite.

<buys next season sarong because colour will make eyes POP!>

AtiaoftheJulii Sun 09-Mar-14 00:57:29

Anne, that picture is possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen - made all the more painfully funny by not being able to share it with anyone outside this thread.

In thanks I give you Aramis telling you, "I'll be back" and Santiago looking cooler than anyone even when he's just at a football match.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 06:42:28

<dismounts Richelieu>

<looks at DrinkFeckArseGirls>

Hmmm.

<prods her with foot>

<puts mirror over mouth>

I don't think she's actually dead Armand, but she has grown a beard! <wonders how long it will take for Hannah to fancy her now> let's just leave her here and see if the crows still peck her eyes out anyway.

WOOP WOOP ITS SEEEEEEEMAAAAAAAS!

I had there cocks go plunging in
Go plunging in
Go plunging in
I had three cocks go plunging in
On Sexmas day in the mooooorrrrning.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 06:43:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 07:06:47

MTM you are making yourself loon silly. <whispers> no one else is behaving like that <shakes head>
Clearly it' you having hallucinations sad

HectorVector Sun 09-Mar-14 07:12:07

I see you all have a shiny new thread for tonight. Marking my place for Athos pics!

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 07:25:17

<gurns at DrinkFeckArseGirls>

Kerry Catona absolutely assured me that that Prawn ring would do the trick. Perhaps I need to up the dosage next time...

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 07:31:08

Yeah, you classy gals hang around together....

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 07:42:46

Yeah, you classy gals hang around together....

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 07:45:49
LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 07:51:57

<stomps in>
DH is a dick. Fell out with him last night. So I'm just going to sit in a corner and sulk.

I'm even in so bad a mood I don't even want any of that ultra appetising doner kebab "meat" on that plate.

<sulks>

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 07:58:57

Armand, love. We've ran out if milk. Be a dove and send milady to fetch some.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 07:59:21

Aaaw LetUsPrey! If it's any consolation mine broke the toilet in the kids bathroom with his big stupid hands last night. He didn't realise that the handle was slightly dodgy and loose and that it needed to be pushed in to flush properly. He of course didn't do this and went YANK YANK YANK YANK SNAP.

Only 13 hours until there is more meat spilling out of your pitta bread than and Kebab shop could offer!

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 08:00:16

Oh dear, LetUsPrey. Hope you will make up soon he will stop being a dick. Seriously, imaginary men are so much easier to live with.

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 08:10:00

Sorry. Not usually a drama queen much

You're right about imaginary men. These four are being wonderful at the moment, running around for us all. No broken toilet seats or anything. And if they did, you wouldn't give a feck because they'd make you forget allll about it.

Right, I've already got a wash in the machine, so I'm going to angrily clean the bathroom. By the time I get to early evening, everything will be sorted and ready for muskeperving.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 08:20:55

Imaginary men are AMAZING because they fold towels an hang them neatly to dry after using them. Then they clean the bath out. And they put their stinking pants and socks IN the washing basket. Well D'Artagnan definitely would. Porthos wouldn't. Aramis would. Athos....well he'd just hold onto his sobbing into it and rocking "Milady Milady oh Milaaaaady". Grip yeah? <rolls eyes>

Oblomov Sun 09-Mar-14 08:41:45

Am going to have to take the children to mass. Will prey for forgiveness for all of you lot aswell.

Anne is there a pecking order to the Athos list? <<was a bit upset at being 4th>>

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 08:42:33

In the moments when DH really pisses me off and I decide it is all over and I flounce, I go to bed planning my new life which involves a man (usually of the imaginary historical drama type) but abs this is the crucial part for me.

I plan it so that I only see this man on the days that DC are with the temporary ex DH so we never live together but stay in the butterfly dating phase forever thus never encountering the towel issue.

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 08:43:39

Oblomov not really but I was hoping for some recognition and a badge so Hannah was a bit deliberate.

MavisGrind Sun 09-Mar-14 08:45:18

Imaginary men all the way here. Much less hassle than the RL version (and better at shagging). (And anyway, washing basket is all well and good but how the hell do you keep leather trousers clean??)

I have to be out all day today so will catch up just before 9pm when I inevitably realise there is loads I should have done for work tomorrow and have failed to do.

Thanks for the prayers Oblomov although, sadly, I think it's far too late for most all of us.

Oblomov Sun 09-Mar-14 08:48:50

Sorry sorry Anne <<kicks herself for Ingratitude>>
Anne your editing of picture is fan-t aramis lous !!

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 08:49:45

Oblomov I hope you don't mind but I'm LOLing here at your church duties. That does not go hand in hand with the subject matter of the thread. grin Is the priest hot or something?

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 08:50:06

DH has apologised unreservedly for being a dick.

Imaginary man would never apologise because he'd never need to.

I like your plan Anne re imaginary man visits.

Perhaps the order on the lists should be reverse alphabetical wink

Oblomov Sun 09-Mar-14 08:51:48

Imaginary men? Oh yes, no boxers left by the bedroom door. They would be IN the washing basket, as MTM pointed out.

Mind you, dh has mended the garden lights, cut he grass and is putting oil and windscreen wash in my car, as we speak. Not sure imaginary men can match that!!

But carries on dreaming anyway .....

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 08:53:40

Have I missed a picture? One posted by Anne.
<scrolls back>

Ohhhhhhhh, that'll learn me to not click on the pictures posted on the thread blush. Excellent picture Anne!

Oblomov Sun 09-Mar-14 08:53:59

Fraid not Drink.
Hardly the Cardinal.
More like Friar Tuck

tuck with a bit more hair.

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 08:55:36

Good news in my household. DH has announced that he will be out tonight. This is good in a number if ways:

1. I can please me and the DC for dinner.
2. I can work to my own timetable etc.
3. I can watch the Musketeers in peace.
4. I can watch the Musketeers tomorrow after Silk for a second time.

I said 'oh so I will have to watch the musketeers twice' <<eye roll>>

'Yeah I am sure that you will manage.' Said with a knowing grin.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 09:04:35

Mine won't be back until late either! Although no doubt will appear in the room in during the last ten minutes and try to have a conversation. I have requirements this week though...I need A FLUSHING TOILET.

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 09:52:57

AND I know he will buy the Boxset!

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 09:55:43

Does he like his wife perving over other men then, Anne? grin

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 09:59:43

Oops, I better get off the sofa. My engagement with DD has been half arsed at best. And there is no milk for another coffee. Milady is pissing about the town chasing Athos instead of serving my Armand and me. angry

I think he should have her shot

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 10:00:31
AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 10:01:49

Drink - I suspect he has a thing for Constance. He also believes that the story lines are great and really well thought out. Who am I to shatter his allusions when they serve me so well.

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 10:04:05

Atia - who is the dude next to Treville <<gatecrasher>>

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 10:05:39

Haha.. I originally read (and responded to) 'does HE like perving over other men'. I suspect he doesn't care and he doesn't know the depths of my devotion.

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 11:27:45

Just watched episode 3 and realised I actually only saw it from Milady trying to cremate Athos and his house. So many funny bits.

<<swoon>> at Aramis and whip sound.

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 12:42:02

I've replayed the whipping sound so many times grin

I need to find a way to clip that bit from the episode so I can keep it forever on my iPad

Happy Sexmas one and all.

Am suffering slightly here. Slept funny <shagged Athos all night> so my back is hurting today. I am also sadly no longer with imaginary Athos' child. So my womb is attempting to eject itself from my body.
Can't breathe through my nose and throat sore <no comment needed there>
To cap it all off, I have a massive pain in my right eyeball nothing to do with red wine

I have gone back to bed never left and am now going to attempt to induce a rude dream in my sleep to cheer me up.

Oh and yes it must be something in the air because ex nobend has made some spectacularly nobbish moves this weekend. Makes me think thank fuck I don't have to deal with this 6 yr old child capability anymore. Honestly! I blame the mothers. I dread to think how he'll cope alone.

Tell me when whipping bit - still haven't seen it.

Oh and here have this... <flings photo>...
Proof that with the right expression, hairstyle, grime and leather - anyone can look good. Even d'artagnan.
Only joking D - love ya really.

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 13:05:05

<cough>hair extensions<cough>

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 13:08:12

And if you're watching on iplayer, you need about 48.33 minutes in for the whipping noise.

Blimey LetusPrey, that was quick. Thanks.

Almost as if you have that number etched on your sex mad brain.

<awards badge for services to whipping sound leching>

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 13:21:30

The badges are coming thick and fast.

I watched episode 6 too - Aramis with baby etc <<faints>>

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 13:22:11

Aramis has some great lines <<is so shaggable>> in the slave trader episode.. whipping notwithstanding.

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 13:24:11

<pins badge on>

Okay I have to the house to myself so it's just me and the ironing.

Which episode should I watch?

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 13:30:41

I am going to say 3 because of his sewing, the whip and there are just so many lovely shots of him. s

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 13:34:29

3 it is then. If the bastarding Sky box stops pissing about angry

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 13:42:32

My nipples are itching me. More the left one. What do you think it meanshmm?

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 13:42:49

The only one I don't still have and search isn't work at the moment for me to find and download it. Think I'll go for number 5. That's got drunken Aramis and cross Aramis.

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 13:43:39

Dunno, but I'm not googling itchy nipples.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 13:48:45

Pfft, mine are very nice, you know.

So you're not afraid to google other stuff mentioned on this thread but not 'nipples' hmm

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 13:53:35

I'm sure your nipples are lovely, in fact the Cardinal commented on it only the other day as he was passing.

And I've been googling nothing - I'm a bit scared to even click on some of the links grin

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 13:56:24

Episode 5 you say. DC seems to have engaged themselves in meaningful activity that does not require my presence, I have coffee. See you on the other side.

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 13:59:46

It is also the episode with Porthos' guns.

Itchy left nipple = it is going to rain.

It also means the Iceland delivery man will be arriving shortly so get your prawn ring ready.

To exchange for 'meaty' kebab.

My right nipple is now itching!

Is itchy nipple like yawning - contagious?..

Anyone else's nipples itching?

Almost impossible to scratch properly too.

<goes back to attempted nap dribble on pillow >

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 14:45:26

No itching here but if Aramis is looking for something to do, I'm willing to lie.

I. Would. So. Shag. Him.

Finished episode 5 and now on number 4. I'd been partway through from last week so I'm going to finish Aramis it off.

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 14:55:11

Episode 4 here too... my children seem to have decided to be angelic. After this though I must bow out until about 8pm.

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 15:09:52
DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 15:35:28

<pats Hannah on the head>

I'm sure in your head the sentence about the delivery man made sense smile

Oblomov Sun 09-Mar-14 15:35:57

Me ME Me.

OMG he has got a cape on. OMG......

Sex on legs

Oblomov Sun 09-Mar-14 15:42:02

D'artagnan at Baftas

think you might have to scroll down to see Luke Pasqualino

Oblomov Sun 09-Mar-14 15:45:51

It is still 19 degrees here. As it was yesterday. So sunny. (Had almost forgotten what the sun looked like)
Thinking of pouring myself my first glass of wine. same as yesterday.

Oblomov Sun 09-Mar-14 16:30:44

Athos

Dh had to help me.
Finally I have managed a photo on thread.
Dimwit. Technophobe!!

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 16:45:29

Haha... Did DH have a good read?

Oblomov Sun 09-Mar-14 16:59:36

Good God Anne, of course not. He us the most easy going and liberal person I know. But I think even he would be shocjed.
At my Athos lusting. I think he might even fe a bit hurt. He us quite sensitive.

And can you imagine? If he read Hannah's best literary descriptions? wink
And MTM's?

He would be shock

Am still quivering at LetUsPrey's fantastic Athos cape link. Has made me go weak. <<not even wine related- gave only just started first glass>>

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 17:09:41

I have just ordered Indian to be delivered at 9pm once I have put everyone to bed and had a nice bath.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 17:47:32

Good evening Wench creatures! How was your afternoon in the gutter? I've had a great day today but unfortunately I've just managed to bend the nail back on my thumb as I was putting washing in the machine WHICH REALLY FUCKING TWATTING BASTARD HURTS!

Prosecco is currently chilling in the fridge which will numb the pain and increase lust levels.

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 17:50:35

Fucking hell. Am I the only one not getting pissed again?!

I knew I should have brought some wine when we went out for chocolate.

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 17:51:20

<<ponders whether the Indian delivery guy will pop to the off licence>>

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 17:53:26

We'll this is my only night of drinking! When musketeers isn't in it's a Satruday and or a Friday.

What I do have as well though is this picture of Armand when he was younger. I'm on the other end of his battered sausage in this shot...

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 17:57:12

Poor MTM. It really does hurt when you do that. You could get the Cardinal to kiss it better once he's finished scratching Drink's nipples.

It is a nice clip isn't it Oblomov? Even I quite liked the look of him.

Anne you're not the only one not drinking. I've got till Tuesday or Wednesday, might leave it to the following weekend though.

Just over three hours to go! Aramis has a brief scene with the queen tonight apparently. I expect to have - what do the youngsters on the likes of Tumblr call it? - feels.

Hello Wenchies

I'm having a SHITE day. Apart from feeling ropey, my whole starting a new life mission is proving very fuckin tiring, and so far going nowhere!
This of course is not made worse by having the dreaded red curse upon me today, nor is it worsened by my eyeball pain from last evenings festivities!

I remember why I like prosecco so much now. It's because red wine FUCKING HATES ME!

Anyhoo, the perving hour draws nearer. I have bathed. Dd is now bathing and all that absolutely must be done, has been done. Which is not actually very much. We all have clean underwear for tmw. Uniforms/shirts etcetera. The rest can get te feck. <domestic goddess>

Now I just need to decide whether I am more bothered about having - therefore cooking - a balanced nutritious meal.
Or to let exp cook again order chinese.

I am also stupidly contemplating having a glass of wine later for scientific research into whether or not the hair of the fig does work.

It really is very tough life here in Hannahville today.

<on the blob>

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 18:14:41

Oh well looks as if I'll have to look after old Flumpy chops tonight since you have the painters in.

Right am I being a bit oblomov here.... what the fudge am I looking for on those tmblr links.

I don't use tmblr or go on it, so have no idea how it all works, when I click on one of your links, I see a set of tiny pics sometimes. Am I supposed to do something else?

I feel like I'm not seeing what everyone is commenting on.

<bit thick>

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 18:16:34

Oh look at this this is so CUTE!

There's plenty else I can think of to do, thanks Malcolm.

Besides he says he'd rather put his nob through a wood chipper than dip it in one of the Cardinals septic tanks strumpets.

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 18:23:31

Not sure about your Tumblr question Hannah, but I've opened the link in Safari and am copying it here and here

Is that any better? Also, hope your day picks up.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 18:27:58

OMG look how SEXY Athos is!

Oblomov Sun 09-Mar-14 18:30:33

I have done dinner: minced beef and onion pie, new potatoes and steamed broccoli , cauliflower and carrots.
Am just about to put ds's in onesies and dispose if them ASAP!
Shall pour myself second glass of wine imminently.

Hope MTM's finger stops hurting. I can really feel the pain, making me cringe!
Hope Hannah feels better. And moving plans to huge fuck off mansion in Cobham (near to me, is WAG city, because it is home to Chelsea football's training pitch, ), is imminent <<or some other equally fantastic location>>

Countdown to 9pm lush-fest.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 18:32:30

So jealous of 'MTM* Prosecco sad I could only afford cava. In the last few years the price of Prosecco has go e up by 30 50 erm 50%.

Oblomov Sun 09-Mar-14 18:40:37

LetUsPrey it's the second clip that does it!! First one is ok
But second one is something else!!

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 18:43:19

This was 6.99 in Tesco half price! Last bottle left. It was fate!

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 18:57:53

Oh he really is going to make me a very happy wench is that Athos. So young, so handsome, so many years ahead of him unlike the dusty old Cardinal.

Well apart from the Chelsea price tag, and the fact that I'm a cuntry girl at heart. I could never live that close to any footballers. The temptation to go on a stabbing mission would be too great. I used to enjoy football as a youngster. Cheering on our country watching us get beat. But these days it's just full of overpaid twats, twatting around, doing their twatty dives, looking prettier than their wives, and so far up their own twatting arses that it makes me go a bit stabby. <menstrual>

I could do a bit of a rugger though. But not too pro. Don't want to risk the chance of twattishness their either. But would quite enjoy the physique <lech lech lech>

Other than that, I'd love to be neighbours grin

That dinner sounds yum. I would kill <I probably really would> <did I mention menstruuuu hating>, for a proper square meal. But as I am the only person in the house capable of cooking anything, it's either takeaway, or get in the kitchen. And I'm probably safer kept away from the knife drawer right now.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 19:18:40

Cuntry girl? <snigger>

Haha! Malcolm - I now need to set up a YouTube account to verify age in order to view that link!

<mind boggling> <mood picked up>

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 19:26:55

Ha! It's not that rude...kind of.

Oblomov Sun 09-Mar-14 19:36:01

Country girl? Lol
Can't see you tube clip MTM.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 19:49:53

It's only about willies and bums!

Hah! Watching crufts and wondering who ever has that much time?

My dog is quite rightly barking at the telly in outrage at the obedience shown by some!

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 20:11:05

Mine wants to dance to bag pipe music. She fucking doesn't...

I am going to buy matching kilts for me and Athos now, to wear with our billowy white shirts. We'll train Porthos to play the bagpipes and do 3 hour routines with our dog.

<will be so magical>

I have BAD fucking news!

Horrendous, frigging, earth shattering news.

I have just been informed that Musketeers will not be showing this pm, as dd wants it saved for us all to watch together tmw. There is nowhere in house I can hide to watch it on laptop without getting found out, whereby needing to concoct some convincing enough reason why I just had to watch The Musketeers tonight, rather than the billion other options available online.

I pray that netflix signal is shite tonight so we have no other options available.

<prays>

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 20:36:46

Hannah - that is not on! Can you not just say mummy will watch tonight just to make sure it is ok and then you can all watch tomorrow together.

Hahahahahaha! Colin the Pomeranian.

Where are you Malcolm? I've been waiting for you to tell me Athos has suddenly turned up at Crufts.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 20:38:16

Hannah. You are the mother YOU ARE THE BOSS! How old is DD? If she's older than five then tell her she can start looking for a flat TOMORROW!

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 20:40:21

Anne's is a good idea. Try that.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sun 09-Mar-14 20:41:24

Hannah surely you just say 'no, I want to watch it tonight'? Put your foot down!!

I am back, in time for the episode and to catch up on the thread.

Anne I am very sad to have been left off your picture thingy sad I shall be keeping Aramis all to myself from now on and not sharing him with you sad sad

I am really pissed off with DH (long story which I won't bore you with) so no post-Musketeer shagging for me today. Humph.

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 20:47:51

Alibaba I kept asking and asking and after 300+ posts I couldn't find it. However since you seem to be deluded think you have some claim to Aramis I might have to reconsider adding you. Anyway Management gave me a badge <<pokes tongue out>>

But since I am all about fairness know that he loves me I will update when I get a chance.

Am seriously sat here mentally arguing the case that on paper she still gets enough hours sleep for her age group <no idea what that is now>. We never have a problem getting her up for/ to school.

Working in my favour is fact that dd is desperately begging us.

I'm keeping schtum. I'll let fate decide. If her dad waivers, I might just allow it this once. <generous>

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 20:54:03

DS2 should be asleep. He is upstairs, tantrumming his head off. I apologise to the dog owners on this thread. His shrieking must be sending them batty.

DS1 is going at normal pre-teen speed, ie slow.

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 20:55:05

I was just deleting photos from my phone and came across this one. I fear DH tolerant attitude may waver if he starts finding these on my phone and laptop.

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 21:01:18

Takeaway arrived at the exact moment the reminder popped up on the TV. I love it when a plan comes together.

Hannah just let her stay up. She is 8 isn't she, I would let my 8 year old stay up if he wanted to watch something other than MOTD.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sun 09-Mar-14 21:03:06

Good picture Anne

See you on the other side ladies grin

Oblomov Sun 09-Mar-14 21:07:04

Dh is watching 'True Detective'. On our sky + planner.
Best series I have seen in years. But seriously, now is not the time. angry

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 21:15:20

DS1 still being ever so slightly a PITA. I think we'll start watching in the next five to 10 minutes.

Anne I do love that picture smile

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 21:20:54

Slaaaaag!

DO NOT FUCKING FOLLOW HER ATHOS!!

And you may insist me anytime you wish.

Bit Cardinal heavy this weak. The Cardinal does have v sexy voice.

I'm going to have to watch THAT SLUT throw herself at him now aren't I!? <googles actress' address>

Aaaaarrrgggghhhh she's just fucking kissed him!

SLUT!!

To the death!

<seething>

Still love him now do you slutbags?

<WHORE!!!!!>

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 21:28:30

I love a bit of hand to hand combat. Did you just see Aramis kick that lackey in the face?!

Going to shag his brains out tonight.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sun 09-Mar-14 21:29:00

Oh God he is divine. The twinkly eyes <swoon>

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 21:29:45

Aaawww, Aramis.smile

Don't worry Athos.... no romance required here

<braces chicken coop>

Oh gaaaaaaaaaad I want to lick his leather jacket

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 21:35:25

Poor Athosshock

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 21:35:43

Not reading recent posts. Waiting for bloody DH now. FFS it's been on for 35 minutes! Get a fecking move on

Cue multiple orgasms over the Cardinal.... 'You will be gagged'.

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 21:38:15

MTM how sexy is the cardinal now?

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 21:39:58

I'm loving the Cardinal dying. It was excellent. Well done, PC.smile

Dying?? Dying????..........

I thought you or Malcolm had just been for a visit grin

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 21:43:34

Cardinal is still sexy wink

Oblomov Sun 09-Mar-14 21:44:40

Athos is so sexy.
Disliking countess more and more.

Disliking the countess more and more?

Dislike

I'm ready to skin the bitch alive

But then I do have pmt grin

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 21:52:56

So sexy in his black shirt blush

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 21:54:07

Milady needs to fuck off from Cardinal chambers angry

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 21:57:50

d'Artagnan acting with his eyebrows grin

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 21:59:41

I just clapped out loud for Connie and d'Art.

Yeah not so feathery strokery now are you d'art!

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 22:07:08

I am inclined to add Connie to the shaggable list.

AtiaoftheJulii Sun 09-Mar-14 22:08:04

Dh was watching with me and I had to hide my face in the dog so he didn't see how much I was grinning at that last bit!

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 22:08:41

Do not fuck with Aramis and throw fucking books. Morons.

AtiaoftheJulii Sun 09-Mar-14 22:08:55

Especially when she's in one of those push-up corsets wink

Well I had a win win.

Decided to let her watch at least half and see how she looked. She fell asleep. So my conscience clear and my needs satisfied grin

Thought they were all superb again this week.

Stand out from Athos (obvs), Cardinal and Aramis.

Even good old Dart brought the house down at end. Love Constance too, the little legend!

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 22:11:39

Loves young dream.

Yes Constance made it to my shag, snog, marry list last week.

Think she's fab. Liking the Queen too.

And isn't the King just bloody marvellous. Loved his '..is that allowed' when whatshername declined his invite at beginning.
Loved that he was like little school boy and smitten by her.
Really is great at that part.

<not just moody hormonal>

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 22:17:22

Having watched an episode or two today I have decided to award the best runner badge to d'Art. He really does run rather nicely - this is particularly well illustrated in the Duke if Savoy episode.

I had a picture but I have run out.

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 22:18:30

I am going to:

Shag Milady
Snog the Queen
Marry Connie

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 22:19:43

Pictures are back. Hilarious.

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 22:20:45

About 40 minutes in. Loving it!

I want Aramis more and more

The fight in Ninon's salon was rather good.

Athos is fab this week, especially when he recognised Milady's voice.

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 22:21:11

I told you not to piss off Aramis.

Hello Muskewenches... I normally hang out on the Benedict Cumberbatch Appreciation threads but I have to say... those musketeers are pretty hot stuff <fans self>. Normally I'd go for Aramis, but actually Athos andD'Artagnan were pretty good this evening!

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 22:24:20

Oh look! There's Benedict Cumbersnatch....

Quick! HolmessweetHolmes he's calling, he wants you...

<--Athos is taken-->

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 22:25:15

Aramis is busy - always!

Where've rest of you gone?...

Off for your post Musketeers booty call no doubt?!

Well, lucky YOU!

<bitter>

That's ok Hannah. I Benedict and Aramis (nice combo) will do just fine <magnanimous>.

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 22:31:15

Who is this Cumberwench. I don't want to have to say hands off Aramis again. He and I have a similar temperament - you have been warned.

<<seething and eyeballing>>

Hannah: we need criteria to vet new wenches.

<<stamps foot and goes to find Aramis warming the bed>>

<shakes hand>

Well that's alright then.. Welcome, come on in and make yourself comfy <sweeps arm>, plenty of Aramis to go around wink

Oblomov Sun 09-Mar-14 22:33:27

I know Hannah is going to be mightily unimpressed, but I have decided that I like the countess. As she rode off from Athos, I felt really sorry for her.

Loving Aramis. Constance. This week.

King was, as always fab. Getting even better, if that's possible. Agree with poster who said , he was fab, when he said 'is that allowed'?

Queen fab.

The Cardinals profile , as dh looked into the light and said he was 'bigger than king, god etc' was uber unflattering. Sorry , but that pointy nose and pointy chin is not good. He looks like a witch himself.
Sorry MTM.

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 22:33:41

Fuck off Hannah! What happened to 'stabbing' anyone who tried to muscle in? What kind of loyalty and honour is this?

er... Sorry Anne! Every wench for herself though. Just protecting my own interests.

<awkward>

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 22:34:35

I thought you had my back.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 22:35:55

Off to the Cardinal's chambers. No sleep for me. I'll be keeping vigil with my sword whilst polishing his. As he can't trust any food or liquid I think I'll have to breastfeed him.

Oblomov Sun 09-Mar-14 22:35:56

Athos, when he hears Milady's voice. agree. Superb.

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 22:37:12

<<makes note that when we have our ten thread reunion in my room at the holiday inn Manchester complete with box set and prosseco - Hannah has to sit outside until episode 4>>

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 22:37:51

Fuck off, Oblomov best to your Friar Tuck angry

He's being menacing and you need a trip to opticians. <slaps Oblomov>

Oblomov Sun 09-Mar-14 22:39:04

Off to bed. See you tomorrow.
I love this thread. It's like a AN or PN thread.
'A journey together'.
When is our Meet Up?

As long as she (countess) keeps on riding Obloms, you, and anyone else have my blessing.

'twas me about King. He really is brill isn't he. Some real comedy moments from him.

I'm falling more in love with the whole production every week now. It's definitely a grower, not a shower.

Capaldi was superb with his delivery of lines. As always.

And feck me does Tom Burke do emotion well. You can feel it bursting out of him.

<smutless>

<notjustadirtycaaaaah>

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 22:40:00

Well, whenever, wherever it is you won't make it. Heresy needs to be punish. Kaboosh.

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 22:40:03

But better Oblomov.

Shall I produce a geographic diagram and we can pin point the centre.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 22:40:25

OMFGOMFGOMFGOMFGOMFGGGGG!

HOW much sexy sexy sexy cardinal in tonight's episode??!?? Answer: a LOT. Hands, fingers, voice, yelling, convulsions, lying in bed, looking sexy without trying. Now I can actually visualise what it would be like to shag him to DEATH!

Anyway, he's such a brilliant, brilliant actor and oh my god, could I not just visualise how epic he's going to be as Doctor Who. That's going to end up being one of the best decisions made in televisual a history...but I digress, that's a whole different animal! <grrrrr>

And then we had snogging Athos, broken Athos, heroic Athos, WET Athos. And then and then and then and then....oh my goodness D'Artagnan!!! HELLO! Not so feathery after all.

Oh how terrible there are only TWO episodes left!

I'm off to chew my own arms off and pull my insides out via my vagina.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 22:41:35

3 episodes left? Or even 4?!

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 22:42:36

3 smile

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 22:42:46

This was 7 so 3 right. What are we going to do .... Argh.

Feisty lot, you wenches eh? <surreptitiously moves hand towards dagger strapped to thigh>. Thanks for the welcome, Hannah <takes proffered hand cautiously>. Glad to hear there's plenty of Aramis to go round...

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 22:43:09

Replay, rewind, replay, rewind...

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 22:43:30

THERE BLOODY WELL ISN'T!!!

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 22:44:56

Oh THREE! Hurrah!!! I lost count. That feels as good as finding £10 in your pocket.

Anne, come now Anne. Sssshh, it's alright.

I'm just creating a diversion. I'll do some magic brain bending tricks on her and turn her to Cardinal Camp.

Aramis was just first name popped into head... err.. you know... um.. alphabetically... thanks

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 22:45:50

holmessweetholmes is fine. More than fine. She merely continues to express her excellent taste in men grin

Loved that episode tonight.
Aramis was the best - fighting (phwoar), being charming (phwoar), giving queenie "the look" again (phwoar) and just generally being Aramis (phwooaaaarrrrrrrr)

Athos was fab, as was Porthos. Cardinal was epically evil - excellent. The bit at the end with d'Artagnan and Constance was brilliant!

Have to say, I'm a bit scared for events in next week's episode.

Just going to download it on to my iPad so I can re-watch Aramis whilst I'm at work. Aramis at my work? Good job the printer's on wheels so I can block the door.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 22:45:51

Oh DRINK! How much rewind play rewind play rewind play will the cardinal's wenches need to do?! Glorious.

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 22:51:45

And the Eric Cantona lookalikey religious bloke was proper bonkers

MavisGrind Sun 09-Mar-14 22:52:21

Evening all - I've had a twat badger of a day (and I notice from skimming the thread that I a have not been missed one jot <hurt>)

Electricity off, all day, not on until after 9 so I've mostly been channelling a Bronte sister and sitting in the dark. With my coat on. Upshot is that I've missed this evening so much catch up tomorrow.

<polishes Athos top shag badge in semi-twilight> <weeps, a little.>

Yes we should do geographical spreadsheet, for reunion purposes and divvying up equal shares of Musketeer among the counties.

I find the missing armpits on Athos' jacket so incredibly erotic. I just want to shove my face in there <bliss>

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 22:53:33

This episode is truly cardinaltastic. The black shirt was great but it was not billowing sad

Duty calls. I bid you farewell.

Is that a euphemism Mavis? wink

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 22:54:35

Well as I'm Scottish so rules say I get the Scottish ones!

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 22:54:58

Aww, poor Mavis. You should've been rubbing your thighs together to warm up.wink

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 22:55:23

I loved Queenie getting all pissed off that he passed her gift on.

The King is friggin brilliant and Athos doing mental man in the Court was amazingly convincing.

Poor Porthos was a bit absent, but the show was stolen by Aramis losing his cool and Connie & d'Art forever

Mavis you silly bint! Of course you've been missed <checks notes..Mavis who?>

I thought you'd said you were out all day.

I didn't like to whine about people's lack of appearance on here, thus drawing attention to my own sad lifeless life.

wine thanks

You're still the only wench I've married for one night only.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 22:56:45

Cardinal is not Scottish hmm

He's French. And so am I not. But I am originally Continental so ner ner.

<snatches badge>

<stamps on badge>

<throws badge in fire>

MavisGrind Sun 09-Mar-14 22:58:21

Oh bloody hell, it sounds so exciting! <I realise that from a proper telly point of view it's probably not great but we measure these things from a different perspective>.

I'm contemplating staying up and watching it now although I know I'll pay for that tomorrow. And not in a good way. <sigh>

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 22:58:58

Mavis - I do love a Bronte though mostly just Emily, Charlotte is alright, and Anne all important and serious but Emily and grubby Heathcliff.

I digress but a Wuthering Heights mini series really wouldn't go a miss - don't forget to give Santiago a starring role.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sun 09-Mar-14 22:59:09

That whole episode was bloody brilliant. Tom Burke is really a fantastic actor and I swear isn't wearing any pants in that picture of them all at the BBC thing

His eyes, his eyes!

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 22:59:58

Drink let's not fall out....let's remember "be quiet to you will be gagged"

<fizzes>

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 23:00:44

And more importantly, this is a lot like what shagging him to death might begin to look like...

I am SouthWest - so we get all of Athos here, because we're all chateaus, massive wine cellars and issues.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 23:01:11

Oh Ali...yes. His EEEEYEEEES!

MavisGrind Sun 09-Mar-14 23:02:26

True Hannah, true. We'll always have Gretna <wistful>

Yes, well, I was out for the day and then I came home and I still had no power and so there was much phoning and 'no it's not the fuse box, I know what a tripped fuse looks like' and upshot was not power at 9pm.

I'm procrastinating now, bed or Musketeers. Oh hell, it's not really a choice is it??

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 23:02:32

That was the best episode so far, but obviously because Richelieu was in the leading part!

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 23:02:38

<<ponders meet up venue between Scotland and the South West>>

Malcolm grin you dirty betch!

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 23:03:02

MAVIS...WATCH IT!!

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Mar-14 23:03:45

On my phone, will see the pics tomorrowsmile

off to nurse the Cardinal. Night night.

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 23:03:47

Watch it if you can Mavis - it may give you sweet dreams

Kept talking out loud to myself (DH was there but the comments were to me). I said that Queenie wouldn't be happy when she found out about Aramis giving away the gift.. And did you see her face when she spotted it around Ninon's neck? Wonderful.

And when d'Artagnan said what he said at the end and then there were weapons being thrown all over and there was sweeping of stuff off surfaces, I was actually making a stupid little squeeeee noise

King was great again. Treville was very good too.

MavisGrind Sun 09-Mar-14 23:04:29

Oh fuck it, I'm going to watch it now. To hell with my 6am alarm! The dog has been walked, what is the worst that could happen...

AnneWentworth Sun 09-Mar-14 23:05:15

The guns and swords falling off him were brilliant. Spontaneous sex must have been such a pain the seventeenth century.

Yes Mavis! You know what you need to do <raises eyebrow>

Not very west, southwest admittedly.

But I might move to Scotland anyway now. I hear the farmers local barn dance or whatevs is rampant.

And they make their chicken coops pretty tough up there.
<economical>

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 23:06:53

But totally worth the effort for Aramis grin

LetusPrey - that bit went over my head. Well spotted was too busy typing seething rage at cuntess I will now need to watch again, to appreciate this fine piece of writing.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 23:10:49

Worst that could happen dear, Mavis, is you will fall in love with PC and I will have to dispose of you....seriously though I challenge you to get through this episode and not think "OMFG HE'S THE DOCTOR!!"

I think you need to come and live with me Hannah! Think how much fun we would have on Sunday nights?!?

MavisGrind Sun 09-Mar-14 23:11:43

Ok. It's on. And I've poured more wine. Monday will be a shit storm but so be it <pragmatic>

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 23:11:43

I'm posting this because I am in love

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 23:12:36

Why is grey hair so sexy?

PeachandBlack Sun 09-Mar-14 23:15:47

I've posted on the first thread (nc'd since), lurked ever since you moved and have finally watched all the episodes.

I'd shag them all. Even the King. Including the women.

Aramis would get it twice grin.

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 23:15:51

Yes, I have to say that when they did the big announcement re the new Doctor, I wasn't convinced, but as each episode of Musketeers passes, I am really looking forward to the new series of Doctor Who grin

PeachandBlack Sun 09-Mar-14 23:16:36

Might give the undertaker bloke a miss though.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 23:20:09

My head is going to explode as soon as the opening credits to series 8 starts.

PeachAndBlack...the boobs are MAGNIFICENT! I am almost a full on lesbian at some points watching it.

MavisGrind Sun 09-Mar-14 23:20:42

Fucking hell, ten minutes in, Athos is bloody gooorrrjuuusss.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 09-Mar-14 23:22:20

He is looking MIGHTILY fine tonight Mavis.

PeachandBlack Sun 09-Mar-14 23:31:45

Yes, the boobs, the bodices, the petticoats are all magnificent.

Captain Treville has aged a bit since The Full Monty but I'd still do him.

Love Aramis the bestest though. <checks coast is clear and others have gone to bed>

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 23:31:51

I want to watch it again. Now. <sigh> But I can't as I must go to bed. Not got anything ready for the morning - school bags and stuff - so will have to get up a bit earlier than usual.

I shall content myself (stop giggling at the back) with a quick Aramis making a whipping noise.

Night all.

LetUsPrey Sun 09-Mar-14 23:34:11

Oh PeachandBlack look at these fine fabrics at the Bonacieux house. They make the clothes you were admiring.

<pushes Peach into cupboard>

PeachandBlack Sun 09-Mar-14 23:35:56

<finds D'artagnan in cupboard. Makes do>

MavisGrind Mon 10-Mar-14 00:05:50

Ohhhh, ok, have revised list. Will do all of them (Athos first obvs). Bloody hell this isn't even quality tv but I was a bit [lovely] at the D'Artagnan/Constance ending.

Without wanting to sound like one of the single types on the thread although I so am I would so love that to happen to me. <links arms with Hannah again in the knowledge we're not that fussy>

Right I must go to bed or else it's hell in a hand cart.

On the morrow, wenches.

MavisGrind Mon 10-Mar-14 00:25:19

Ok, on reflection, and after brushing my teeth, I do realise life just isn't lithe that. But wouldn't it be lovely if it was...?
Good lord tomorrow is going to be a challenge!
Night wenches.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 07:04:39

Morning. I can only think of the following things...

how utterly brilliant Capaldi is as an actor and ridiculously and insanely excited I am about him playing Doctor Who.

How lovely Athos's eyes are. Lovely, lovely, lovely eyes...

AND oh MY god. D'ARTAGNAN!! Oh the way he just grabbed Constance and everything flew off that table. Bloody hell. How we laughed at his featheryness, but how our knickers would drop!

I have to say the last two episodes have been really, really good. I'm definitely watching that again later.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 07:05:45

Oh and a little bit of me is a lesbian and fancies Milady.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 07:06:25

And I want a black horse.

MavisGrind Mon 10-Mar-14 07:09:33

Don't want much do you MTM grin

Well, hauled myself out of bed about an hour ago. This is going to be loooong day.

Oblomov Mon 10-Mar-14 07:44:09

Athos made my heart break when he said to her that neither of them 'do marriage'. Err so? You dimwit. Shouldn't stop you with all the preliminary stages:

Desire filled rampant shagging ( ala Constance and D'artagnan)
Wining and dining, falling in love.
More rampant shagging.

FFS Athos , get over it, you wimpering dog.
Shag someone else FGS . << me, me, me>>

That's it. Whilst I wait for Athos to sort his shit out.
I'm moving into the palace.
I'm going to have the King. Constantly. Repeatedly.
And when I've finished with him. I'm gonna have the Queen.
wink
In between buffets, hog roasts and being fed grapes.

Oblomov Mon 10-Mar-14 07:49:48

Many of last nights posts, that I have read this morning, have really made me smile, even made me giggle so much I splurted my tea out!!

LetUsPrey Mon 10-Mar-14 08:10:25

Now how about we try it blindfold? Why yes, LetUsPrey, that sounds like an excellent idea. That look in the last gif ... mmmm

Wonder what Ninon would have said if Athos had replied to her question "It ended badly?" with "She murdered my brother so I had her hanged, but she survived so technically I'm still married."

Oblomov Mon 10-Mar-14 08:14:59

Yes. Still married. Technically. sad

AnneWentworth Mon 10-Mar-14 08:24:03

I am pleased to inform my wenches that in the 17th century in most of Europe there was lots of intermarital sex going on - that's historical accuracy for you So, as you were.

AnneWentworth Mon 10-Mar-14 08:24:34

Letuspray that is a brilliant. It was such a funny scene.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 08:27:00

Meanwhile Athos suddenly discovered the wenches he was saving from the Cardinal's guards were actually Musnetters...

Stinklebell Mon 10-Mar-14 08:27:22

I'm gutted, I haven't seen it yet sad

Pesky family and having to visit them. I have to actually go into work today too, so won't get to watch it until later

So I take it, it was a good one?

LetUsPrey Mon 10-Mar-14 08:31:23

Yy, I don't think they were that picky some of the time about marriage vows. Didn't stop d'Artagnan and Constance. That sweeping ... <sigh>

Excellent picture!

Stinklebell it was fab!

Okay, off to school and work. Laterz wenches

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 08:32:35

Another Cardinal sex face!

Oblomov Mon 10-Mar-14 09:19:59

Is that after you've finished with him MTM?

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 09:26:18

Not quite after....but approaching it!

Morning wenchy dears..

So I just discovered that if one taps on a (gif?) it enlarges and isolates the picture. So you're not just looking at a load of thumbnails. Who knew eh! <everyone except me>

Well anyway, you know how I'm not usually camp Aramis, well, that last (gif?) one,was not entirely unpleasant.
Had a certain thrusting appeal er...ahem.. to it.

Slow. Thrusty. Eye intensity. Thrusty. Determined. Thrusty. Slow. Thrusty. Self assured. Thrusty. Rhythmic. Thrusty. Sensual. Thrusty.......

...ahem ... so then, Monday morning <slaps everyone round face like wet fish> It's a lovely day out there. But otherwise, it's going to be a fucker.
I can feel it in my spasming womb.
May the Muskelove be with you. And good luck. See you all later.... <probably soon>

EvaTheOptimist Mon 10-Mar-14 10:12:11

About 2 threads ago I declared for Athos... have been a bit busy in RL since but really laughing at the inspired comments on this thread.

But... I'm a little worried about Athos - is he really, you know, just not interested? I can't understand why he didn't go for the countess with a bit of passion? ALSO who takes a woman to a mortuary on a first date!! That would kill it for me I think.

Good for D'Artagnan but I couldn't help thinking there was going to be a lot of clearing up to do afterwards...

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 10:36:57

Athos probably thinks the mortuary on a first date is great fun. He's such an Emo.

SooticaTheWitchesCat Mon 10-Mar-14 10:42:38

It's not fair, I never get to watch on a Sunday night sad

Mind you it does mean I can see it when I am all alone on a Monday afternoon with no DH moaning his way through the programme, and I can pause and re-watch as I like grin

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 10:51:00

You might need to do a lot of that today Sootica!

SooticaTheWitchesCat Mon 10-Mar-14 10:55:28

Oh good - especially if it involves D'Artagnan wink

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 11:28:47

Oh you'll be doing that alright!

SooticaTheWitchesCat Mon 10-Mar-14 11:43:35

grin

AtiaoftheJulii Mon 10-Mar-14 12:02:22

You might as well forward wind to the end if all you want's D'artagnan. I was getting a bit sulky about the lack of him, but the programme-makers redeemed themselves.

I have been reading about Gascons, because I wondered what the joke was. Found a very useful page that explained it all, along with some Dumas quotations:

“If God wills that those rapiers serve Your Eminence,” said d’Artagnan, “I dare express one desire: that it is the purse of Monsignor that become light while theirs become heavy; because between these three men and myself, Your Eminence will make all France and even all Europe tremble if he desires.”
[snigger]

“These Gascons,” laughed Mazarin, “are almost the equals of the Italians for their swagger.”
“In any case,” said d’Artagnan, matching the cardinal’s smile, “they are superior when it comes to handling their swords.”
[fnarr f-fucking-narr]

and

“Among ourselves, we say ‘Proud as a Scot’,” murmured Buckingham.
“And us, we say ‘Proud as a Gascon’,” d’Artagnan replied. “The Gascons are the Scots of France.”

So, now you know!

AtiaoftheJulii Mon 10-Mar-14 12:13:58

http://constance-and-dartagnan-haven.tumblr.com/ has gone a bit crazy grin

AtiaoftheJulii Mon 10-Mar-14 12:14:33
AnneWentworth Mon 10-Mar-14 12:48:09

Atia should get the wench of the day award for that link.

LetUsPrey - thanks for vouching for me and my taste in men upthread <slips Prey a tenner>. I actually couldn't concentrate at work today as flashes of the D'artagnan and Constance scene kept re-playing in my head. This is not ideal when one is trying to teach a class...

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 10-Mar-14 13:12:31

The D'artagnan/Constance scene left me absolutely cold! <wonders what is wrong with self>

Quite clearly it was not a date you dopey tarts.

Has all of the blood in your dainty little brains rushed south to fill those great flapping flaps? Really?...

I suggest you all sit down, before you fall down.

'Twas not, a fucking date!

Let's enjoy a picture of the Cardinal's sex face again, to cheer us up...

Ooh! Richelieeeeeeuuuuuuu!!!!!!

grin

Stinklebell Mon 10-Mar-14 13:50:41

I've managed to bunk off work early, with a bit of strategic fast forwarding, I'll manage to squeeze last nights in before the school run

EvaTheOptimist Mon 10-Mar-14 14:04:23

Hannah I think the countess thought it was a date! Til it all went horribly wrong on a number of fronts

Oblomov Mon 10-Mar-14 14:25:51

What was it then Hannah?
If not a 'date'.
She asked him to come and fine with her.
As it was, no dining took place, because upon his arrival, he told her that he needed to show her something. And took her to the morgue.

She asked him to dine with her. She thought it was a date.

Stinklebell Mon 10-Mar-14 14:32:09

Oooooo, so D'artagnan isn't quite as feathery strokery as we all thought shock

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 14:52:33

<punches Hannah>

<shags Athos>

<doesn't enjoy it because he'siserable AND shit in the sack>

She might have thought it was a date. He did not.

Hence him taking her to a mortuary. He didn't give a flying foo fah about the impact this would have, thus confirming that in his mind, it was not a date, and that he had no romantic interest in her.

Their connection, was about their respective ishoos/attitudes in life. Especially once Milady SlutChops got involved, and they shared a common <being the operative word>, enemy.

If there was any real flirting/chemistry going on, it was with ARAMIS.

..... and I reckon part of the Cardinal's problem with her, was that he wanted to boff her brains out too. But didn't have a hope in hell because of her intelligence, thereby wishing to dominate her in the only way he could, by stripping her of wealth/title/life.

I think all of the Musketeers wanted to save the 'damsel in distress', as part of their <yawn> honourability.

But in summary :

ARAMIS WANTED TO SHAG HER, SHE WANTED TO SHAG HIM.

THE CARDINAL IS A DIRTY BASTARD AND HE WANTED HER TO WORSHIP AT HIS ALTAR. <and kiss his ring piece >

THE END.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 15:37:11

Cardinal is just misunderstood! He's a nice man really.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 15:47:09
MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 15:50:52
MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 15:51:36
MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 15:53:05
MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 15:55:36
AnneWentworth Mon 10-Mar-14 16:06:04

I just sent a link about the musketeers to a school mum instead of a link to parking restrictions. FFS.

AnneWentworth Mon 10-Mar-14 16:06:37

And she did not want to shag Aramis!!! She did however appreciate his obvious charm.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Mon 10-Mar-14 16:08:44

I think it's clear what's up with Athos. He's simply batting for the other team. Gayloooord!!!

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 16:12:41

I want to shag Aramis.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 16:13:32

I think Athos would DEFINITELY want a bit with H from Steps.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Mon 10-Mar-14 16:16:04

Hannah you said something about a trilogy at the end of the last thread. What was that? You were waiting for me to come back or something?

Well, I'm back, where's the fucking storyhmm

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 10-Mar-14 16:20:09

Anne ROAR grin that is hilarious!

I also want to shag Aramis. A lot.

You can't expect Athos to be falling in love at the drop of a hat. This is the man who hung his own wife.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Mon 10-Mar-14 16:26:15

Because ha hated her because he was GAY!

Stinklebell Mon 10-Mar-14 16:28:08

Athos falling in love with you would be a bit of a double edged sword, if he didn't bore you to death with his ishoos, he might have you hanged.

And I don't think he could get it up anyway.

<going off him a bit>

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 17:25:03

I actually think he could be quite "small". Not as little as the King, but was lily a tenth of Porthos.

Well don't let me stop you Stinkerbell. Not every woman can handle a deep and complex man such as Athos <flicks imaginary fluff off shoulder>

Anne grin grin grin grin grin - hope it was one of your ruder captions hahahahahahahaha! Have you outed yourself as a Muskewench?...

Drink - I said I would write the next installment of the trilogy about you/long lost twin/cardinal/world of quid and the missing smartie tube, WHEN, one of the other ladies <choke> on this thread, penned their dirty thoughts literary masterpieces.

I do believe it was Malcolm, who had so much filth bubbling up in her mind <surprising I know> over a recent dream about the Cardinal, that she was practically frothing out of her ears. And LetusPrey too, come to think of it. It woz them wot teased us.

Ooh just realised I still haven't checked that YouTube link from last night from MTM. Got distracted by something. Can't think what!

Oh and Athos is NOT gay. but if he was I would cut my hair and take it up the wrong un for him

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 17:28:53

Cardinal would, however, be hung like a mammoth and shove your womb up next to your lungs...

And fuck no! H from steps would so not be Athos' type.

<wracks brain for Athos' type if which he isn't, he was gay>

Stinklebell Mon 10-Mar-14 17:31:03

Duncan from Blue

I didn't want to say this before.... but I tell you who does have a touch of the other team about them.

PC

<just sayin>

< fucking legs it>

FUCK OFF Duncan from Blue!

Way too pretty, and groomed looking.

No he would go for the butch/gay, not the pretty/gay.

<whispers ...or effeminate gay like PC>

Not butch butch.

Just normal, you wouldn't know, could be your husband, <dd dad?? penny drops! ffs!> gay.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 17:40:48

One last observation before I have to bid farewell for this evening.

Aramis - BMW m5
Porthos - pimped up Honda Civic
Athos - smart ka
D'Artagnan - push bike
Cardinal - Bentley continental gt
Traville - Volvo estate

AnneWentworth Mon 10-Mar-14 17:56:05

Haha, well I am still pleased I am shagging Aramis.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Mon 10-Mar-14 18:07:50

Bitch!!! @ Hannah he not gay, he's a bit if a luvvie in RL though grin

DrinkFeckArseGirls Mon 10-Mar-14 18:08:37

I bet Porthos is tiny grin

DrinkFeckArseGirls Mon 10-Mar-14 18:09:02

Fucking write it then and I might not kill you!!!

DrinkFeckArseGirls Mon 10-Mar-14 18:11:04

Cardinal - Aston Martin or Lexus. Possibly Maserati at the weekends when he takes me to his country house so no one can hear us going at it line wild animals

DrinkFeckArseGirls Mon 10-Mar-14 18:12:49

D'Artagnan - a scooter. School aged children one, not a motor.

Stinklebell Mon 10-Mar-14 18:21:43

Athos - Prius
D'artagnan - souped up Nova
Porthos - Ford Escort
Aramis - something convertible

LetUsPrey Mon 10-Mar-14 18:25:15

Anne what did you send her? grin

I do like coming home to this thread on a weekday after a day dealing with mostly annoying/stupid/both people.

I watched the first part of last night's episode at lunchtime today up to the bit where Athos and Ninon are walking back to her house, just before the part where Aramis is fighting. <sigh>

Anne and other fans of Aramis (my brain is too tired to remember names) have you see this?. Hours of fun grin

Well I've just depressed myself looking at google results for famous gay men.

Sooooooo many beautiful men, destined to never enter cross my path. <because that was the only thing in the way>

Drink - I will work on it this week when I should be doing real work.

Can't rush these things. I have to wait for the inspiration to hit. The plot is thickening now, I can't just go off all willy <snigger> nilly!

Oh and d'artagnan is definitely a moped. With a noddy horn.

Athos not a Ka though. He would be a big bad ass Harley Davidson, with a littlle sidecar for Porthos grin

Crinkles PWOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Sex on legs!

AnneWentworth Mon 10-Mar-14 18:39:26

Letuspray - is that frame by frame?

It was only the bbc link I posted of them all dressed normally, but still.

LetUsPrey Mon 10-Mar-14 18:42:10

I think it might be. I've only had chance to glance at the first page.

Off out now for my weekly hour's worth of (formal) exercise.

MavisGrind Mon 10-Mar-14 20:48:59

Evening wenches! Just caught up, will go link clicking shortly. Managed to get through the day relatively unscathed. Will re-watch last nights episode again as I've got to stay up and wait for the tumble dryer <romantic>

LetUsPrey Mon 10-Mar-14 20:49:20

Ooo it's gone a bit quiet.

<steals away with Aramis>

MavisGrind Mon 10-Mar-14 20:55:35

You can have him LetUsPrey - I'll just sneak out the back with Athos, will try and persuade him to go for a drink/dinner - the morgue gets so, well, samey after a few trips.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Mon 10-Mar-14 20:56:42

Off to bedibyes. Meditated this evening hmm Have to cling to my sanity somehow. Have a good night of perving and I'll see you tomorrow.

LetUsPrey Mon 10-Mar-14 20:58:38

grin at morgue visits (that sounds a bit wrong)

Night Drink. Have a restful night's sleep with happy dreams

EvaTheOptimist Mon 10-Mar-14 21:00:14

Great link LetUsPrey its confirmed that Athos IS the one. He DID like the countess you know (despite weird mortuary date issues) - did you see him down on his knees begging the cardinal for her life? Athos doesn't get down on his knees for just anyone you know.

LetUsPrey Mon 10-Mar-14 21:16:43

That's not what I've heard.

Sorry not sorry

LetUsPrey Mon 10-Mar-14 21:18:37

It's just as well I don't know how to make those gifs and stuff like that. I'd never get anything else done.

I think you're right though EvaTheOptimist and others who have said that Athos did like Ninon

SooticaTheWitchesCat Mon 10-Mar-14 21:29:00

I love this thread, it cheers me up when I am feeling a bit mopey smile

I still haven't watched Sunday's episode as Dh had a day off today and I refuse to spoil it by watching while he is around. Still the anticipation keeps me going wink

AnneWentworth Mon 10-Mar-14 21:36:42

Just watched with DH. I had to suppress my inclination to phwoar when Aramis kicked the red guard in the head.

Oblomov Mon 10-Mar-14 21:39:24

Hannah, re Athos.
He kissed her and put his hands on her waist. Why?
He drive her to the direst and says goodbye to her. Why?
He begged the cardinal , like Eva said. On his knees.

Aramis said it was flirting. Between her and Athos. Yes her with him. But I think he participated more than you care to admit.

LetUsPrey Mon 10-Mar-14 21:40:46
AnneWentworth Mon 10-Mar-14 22:01:05

God he is beautiful.

AnneWentworth Mon 10-Mar-14 22:03:36
AnneWentworth Mon 10-Mar-14 22:08:04
MavisGrind Mon 10-Mar-14 22:12:33

Ah, I see the Aramis fan club is out in force this evening! Ok, just watched last nights episode again - by far the best yet. Athos still super hot (of course) and still a bit squee about the Constance/D'Artagnan snogathon.

Right, need an earlier night. Laters wenches..

AnneWentworth Mon 10-Mar-14 22:20:36

Right wenches. I have a deadline to the tune if not-started-two-essays totalling 6000 words due in 7 days so my commitment to the thread may be slacker than usual. Rest assured I will still be adhering to my shag sessions with Aramis so no hogging bitches.

Good news though is I finished my book so am off to bed to start the Three Musketeers.

LetUsPrey Mon 10-Mar-14 22:21:53

Yy, Anne, the fighty stuff is definitely hot. Don't know what that says about me either. I'm a big Cumberbatch fan as well - love everything I've seen him in - but watching him fighting and being so physical in Star Trek and Little Favour was amazing grin

Night Mavis

Evening wenches - looks like we're all shagged out tonight.

I'm off to bed too. Will continue the Athos/Countess debate tmw. But for now I can barely see the hand in front of my face. <closed eyes doesn't help>

Hoping Tuesday a happier day.

P.s is anyone else starting to worry about Anne? Such a mild mannered wench to begin with. And now look at her.... Aramis doofs them up whilst Anne screams with excitement from the sidelines. <dark side> < MN lethal weapon>

err.... add LetusPrey to that observation.

LetUsPrey Mon 10-Mar-14 22:52:55
MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 22:53:24

So I've been life modelling for Armand and the Musketeers tonight. He's very good with his hands you know. They all clearly became very aroused by my pale Celtic complexion and found stretch marks and cellulite to be the biggest turn in they had ever ever known. Anyway, eventually Armand had had enough demanded the musketeers leave so it was just me and him. Then he held me in a passionate embrace, and whispered in my ear "I think we're alone now, doesn't seem to be anyone around. I think we're alone now, the beating of our hearts is the only sound" (all in French of course) and then he flipped me over and FINGERED ME SENSELESS! I had 30 orgasms. It was great.

The end.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 22:55:37

Haha LetUsPrey!! I did laugh at how like a little old man he looked as he was flung over Aramas's shoulder! Still though...sexy.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 22:56:20

Who is Aramas then iPad you fucking idiot?

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 23:03:06

Oh yes yes yes.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 23:05:38

Dontchya wish your girlfriend was hot like me?

MalcolmTuckersMistress Mon 10-Mar-14 23:12:53

Hello? Hello? Anyone?

You know what? Fuck it!

<shags Musketeers, Treville, King, Queen, Milady, Constance>

Ssshhhhhhhh!

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 10-Mar-14 23:20:56

MTM are you alright? grin

The fighting is so hot, I bloody love it. LetUsPrey your second link - gulp - he is utterly divine.

LetUsPrey - yy to the fighting. And to the physical scenes with BC too - that bit when Sherlock hospitalises the American guy who hurt Mrs Hudson...

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 07:51:09

Oh LetUsPrey, I had given up hope and gone to bed when you came out to play.

Good morning Wenches!

Alibabaandthe40nappies Tue 11-Mar-14 07:56:27

Morning Wenches grin

Horrible cold today, feel really rough. May have to rewatch this week's episode once I've dropped the DS's off grin

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 07:57:52

Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me, let's talk about all the good thing and the bad things that may be...

LetUsPrey Tue 11-Mar-14 08:10:25

Morning all.

Hmm, which one should I have first? Or what about all at once?

Crossover episode? Cumberbatch and Capaldi together

I love how Alexandra Dowling plays this. Little face of pissed off and then little face of relieved.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 08:12:13

That's a voicegasm going on right there!

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 08:13:04

Who wants to tweak his nip nips?

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 08:37:56

Just me then? Wow, they all want me and I am a BUSY lady!

Stinklebell Tue 11-Mar-14 08:46:47

I don't want him, he's all yours as far as I'm concerned grin

Although, I'm a little bit undecided at the moment, I've gone off Athos a bit, I can't decide between D'artagnan and Trousers

Stinklebell Tue 11-Mar-14 08:47:21

Fucking, fucking shItePad.

T R E V I L L E

Stinklebell Tue 11-Mar-14 08:49:58

Treville has been creeping up my list lately

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 08:52:13

Oh Traville yes indeed! And you get a clear run on him. I only have him when Armand is having his afternoon nap.

Trousers could be his code name?

Mornin' ye fair maidens

Treville is perfect for you Stinkers. He needs the love of a good wenchy failing that, you'll do

I don't think he ever really stood a chance. He doesn't exactly have the biggest part fnar fnar. (auto correct changed fnar to gnat - it's proof!)

I noticed just how little we see him on Sunday. Shame really as there is nowt wrong with the speerm-eister.

Need to have a catch up later with links, that you tube clip, as well as respond to the ongoing alledged infidelity case of Athos and the Countess.

Crappy week so far here. Hope everyone else's going alright?

Malcolm it is ok for me to bring dd isn't it? <packs bags ready for life of debauchery amongst the chicken coops>

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 09:52:20

Oh of course Hannah! I have three here for her to entertain while we go out drinking with Athos and Porthos.

Stinklebell Tue 11-Mar-14 09:52:41

I think poor old T R E V I L L E has been unfairly overlooked.

Athos is very nice to look at, but dear god, I'd have to kick his ass if I had to look at that miserable face every single day

I've gone back to Game of Thrones lately and have a new crush, my Athos love is waning a bit

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 09:58:09

Oi, be quiet! Cardinal is still recuperating and I need him back to his old self ASAP. Those 3 shags a night I simply unacceptable!

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 09:58:27

Are not I.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 10:06:49

STINKBELL! How dare you. Game Of Thrones?!

Oh dear Drink he's obviously getting it harder and far more frequently else where.

<smirks>

<recalls last nights 30 orgasms>

Stinklebell Tue 11-Mar-14 10:08:30

Sorry blush

<fickle>

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 10:14:11

Well I hereby dismiss you of your Athos duties with immediate effect. You will be moved to the position King's lunch supervisor. Please make sure he washes his hands.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 10:14:23

...And finishes his crusts

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 10:16:12

So he was asleep and you sat on his fingers. hmm

With me he like to be present with body and mind and put effort on apart from his penis.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 10:18:11

Cumberbutchers and GoT fans need to fuck right off to their own threads angry

Oblomov Tue 11-Mar-14 11:18:42

Next week. Vinnie Jones.

Oblomov Tue 11-Mar-14 11:24:32
Oblomov Tue 11-Mar-14 11:31:53

Seeing as I seem to be last in the queue for Athos.
I would like to put myself first in queue for King Louis. There are no other takers? Right? Thank F**k for that.

Begrudgingly keeps her 'last-but-not-least' place in The Athos queue.

Oblomov Tue 11-Mar-14 11:37:46

link to tumblr, just posted, not working.
Its the Albertflight clip,4th row down, where Milady comes into Ninon's court, that I want.
Can you see it? if you scroll down?

Stinklebell Tue 11-Mar-14 13:14:19

No, no, no. I'm not relinquishing my place in the Athos queue. I'm just keeping my options open

I just want him to do something. He just leans on stuff with a face like a slapped arse week in week out. I mean, he was presented with a sure thing this week, and he took her to a fucking morgue.

I'm bored of the troubled Athos bollocks

AnneWentworth Tue 11-Mar-14 14:01:39

I don't know Stinkle... 'bored' kind of sounds like you are relinquishing.

Just saying.

Right back to work...

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 14:08:17

I'm repeat hmm
He gay. Not sure why you bothering. I bet he enjoys Aramis and Porkthos carrying him home after he passes out from drinking. And then them undressing him for bed.

Stinklebell Tue 11-Mar-14 14:20:50

Yes, but he's very easy on the eye

AnneWentworth Tue 11-Mar-14 14:24:02

Drink: I raise my glass to you for your chastisement of the BC and GoT usurpers.

diddl Tue 11-Mar-14 14:24:29

Who's gay?

Athos or the actor?

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 14:25:02

Athos. Athos is gay. Isn't it clear?

diddl Tue 11-Mar-14 14:28:13

His dad is the guy who played Watson in the series where Jeremy Brett was Holmes & his mum is Anna Calder Marshall.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 14:31:25

That is very useful diddl.

Now, back to the thread: which one you fancyangry

diddl Tue 11-Mar-14 14:33:05

Captain Treville for me!

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 14:33:54

Richelieu isn't gay. Not him with his magical thrusting hands and fingers of lust.

Athos is just asexual like Cliff Richard or Justing Fletcher. Plus he'd have a teeny tiny weeny peiny and that's why Milady binned him.

Angry Athos.

But he does have lovely eyes!

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 14:34:21

Good sound choice. He is creeping up the perv list. Although they've not shown much of him recently.

Anne will be here soon to add you to the spreadsheet grin

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 14:36:24
DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 14:36:33

Are you hearing voices, MTM?

No one has mention Cardinal being gayhmm

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 14:44:29

No I know. I was just saying.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 14:47:23

Very nice smile

He should come over to the South if the river.

AnneWentworth Tue 11-Mar-14 14:55:04

I am going to need a new spreadsheet to account for the King, Treville and all the lesbo lusting that is going on.

Work and deadlines calling, but it shall be done.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 14:57:13

I don't think the Cardinal would think much for his taste of interiors. Contemporary would not be his thing!

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 14:57:59

Anne I want Milady and D'Artagnan's horse!

I think I might have mentioned a certain persons sexuality yesterday afternoon. <vague>

Right then... Stinkers and Obloms - permission has been granted so you can both FUCK RIGHT OFF the Athos queue.
You're either in. Or you're out. No dilly dallying about

"oh, but he's sooo moody" sad...

Or talk of gayness.

The only gay thing going on around here is a sudden upsurge in the women characters queues.

DrinkFeck and Malcolm.....

.... The Cardinal sends his love.

One of his more flattering pics..... <stud>

Stinklebell Tue 11-Mar-14 15:19:04

Ooooooo, who put Hannah in charge of the Athos queue?

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 15:31:11

HAnnah be a love a jump from the nearest window, huh?
Just make it a good one, no one want to see a repeat...

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 15:32:01

Hannah can have her last wish and shag Athos before she jumps <gracious>

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 15:35:31

Malcolm that youtube link is disgusting shock

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 15:36:02

And now I have it in my youtube historyhmm

Stinklebell Tue 11-Mar-14 15:41:58

Where's the YouTube link? confused

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 15:43:33

Oh, it was before. She was cheering up Hannah hmm

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 15:44:04

You can look for Willy Bum Bum on youtube <boak>

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 15:46:12
Stinklebell Tue 11-Mar-14 15:51:49

<worried I was missing something>

It's OK, I'm familiar with the Willy Bum Bum song thanks to my lovely daughter hmm

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 16:01:43

I love singing Capaldi <loved up> <goes a bit girly>

But, I can't believe none of you appreciateWilly Bum
Bum! It's a masterpiece grin

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 17:46:38

Athos when he shaves his beard off.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 18:41:13

So much silence today! I'm going to have to go off and start reading other threads now sad

LetUsPrey Tue 11-Mar-14 18:51:02

Bloody work and bloody people trying to install things on the pc at home to try to bloody watch the bloody football that doesn't bloody work but does bring with it loads of bloody bastarding add ons that fuck about throwing bloody pop ups fucking everywhere and then I have to bloody well bastarding fix it all.

Bloody hell.

So yes pleaseandthankyou to a moody looking, wet Aramis to cheer me up. Take your pick from the rest of them. The Cardinal said he's having a quick rest before ongoing activities

Also, loving the posts today grin

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 18:52:38

Don't Malcolm, it's not as nice out there. Plus let's not find out we have fundamentally different values and opinions that would stand between us shock

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 19:10:30

I think you may be right Drink! It's far safer in here. It'll soon be the wedding season and that brings many beasts out of hibernation all over the forums.

Oi Malcolm you shlaaaaaaag

<hoicks her back by her left tit>

I am just about to engage in some research regarding Athos before I no longer have house telly to myself. Then I shall return to deliver my verdict on countess-gate.

I'm having a shitty week so far, but believe me when I say... I AM COMMITTED!!!!!!

Don't leave. Everyone feckin leaves eventually. Can't count on anyone. Everyone leaves in the end..... <channels Athos>

Which window did you say was a good one Drink??.....

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 19:19:18

Imagine Athos chopping onions.

Bloody pissing arse nobbing iplayer!!!!!

I'll be here all night at this rate. Just going to eat and watch my name sake instead, then I will be upon thee biatches witheth my wratheth and loose elastic about my knickerbockers or some such.

LetUsPrey Tue 11-Mar-14 19:26:43
LetUsPrey Tue 11-Mar-14 19:35:53

I think I found MTM and Drink top left picture of the Cardinal

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 20:11:20

The highest, Hannah, the highest.

Oblomov Tue 11-Mar-14 20:24:49

Have we only got 2 episodes left? sad

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 20:25:49

I've had a really really stiff neck today and passionate cardinal sex frenzies aside I can not for the life of me work out how I've done it. It feels like it's getting worse! Can't look down or left or right. It is quite literally a pain in the neck.

Drink, I think you'll have to be on Cardinal Sin duties tonight. Is that ok?

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 20:26:32

No you say? Oh ok I'll bravely carry on. I'm SUCH a martyr.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 20:27:35

3 fucking episodes. Said the same one sunday <eye roll>

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 20:29:12

Yes, happy to relieve you. Will warm his ears up as long as ge doesn't scratch my thighs with his beard.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Tue 11-Mar-14 20:29:54

LetUsPrey I am loving your links today grin

Anyone who is getting bored of Athos can just move aside. He is more beautiful and fuckable with every episode IMO. <elbows Stinkle out of the way>

OM. MY. LORDY!!!

I finally got around to setting up a you tube account in order to watch the much needed/appreciated gift of cheering up from Malcolm the other day.....

er.... thanks?? <tilt>

WillyBumBum is going to be lodged in my head for*EVER*!!!!!!!!!!

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 20:32:23

Ooouuuuuhooohuuuhuooohuuuuh....Can you imagine!?!

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 20:34:24

Hannah, admit it. You bloody LOVED that! I think it's hilarious. You'll be singing that as you shag Athos!

LetUsPrey Tue 11-Mar-14 20:34:59

I might not be able to write interesting, funny stuff (might - hahaha) and that is definitely best left to the others on this thread, but I can copy and paste like a demon grin

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 20:36:21

Copy and paste WHERE?!

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 20:40:59

Ah, the link. <sighs with relief>

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 20:41:39

This thread is not moving at all.

What am I supposed to read? A book?hmm

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 20:43:42

I'm the same Drink. Did you have a good look around that house though? Shall I post a picture of Capaldi killing a haggis?

LetUsPrey Tue 11-Mar-14 20:47:26
MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 20:47:33

Haggis stabbing MANIAC.

Hannah, re Athos.
He kissed her and put his hands on her waist. Why?
He drive her to the direst and says goodbye to her. Why?
He begged the cardinal , like Eva said. On his knees.

Hands on waist - To steady himself from collapsing in revulsion. Or as is more likely, he got caught up in the moment - as we all would. Didn't mean anything more than that.

Drove her to the forest - He felt the bigger connection with her, having both been affected by Milady, plus the previous conversations they'd shared.

On his knees begging - the Cardinal was also on his knees at the time. Even if he wasn't, it was a natural position to assume when begging for someone's life, especially to a man of the Cloth in those days. He equally would've done the same for an old person/child.

The fact that he stated that he was done with romance was his way of saying, he was not interested. The kiss was just a kiss. Instigated by her not him. How many of us in the same (single) position (with a single fit person) would not have react the same way he did to the kiss?

I'm not saying this just because I'm going to be his wife or anything. I just don't believe it was a love interest/date thing. All of his concern at the end was about her death sentence - the wrong person dying. A young woman dying when he might prevent it.

The whole thing was about his issues rather than any interest in her.

And as a result of skimming through that episode again, I have come to the conclusions that....

1) I am even more obsessed with Athos - perhaps it's after having 12 yrs with a man about as deep as teaspoon, I like the intensity. Or maybe it is just because he is FIT AS FUCK!

2)The Cardinal does indeed have very fine fingers. I paused on the scene where he touched his cross and did have a hm hmmmm moment.

3) Aramis is tasty if a bit too slick and greasy shiny.

4) d'artagnan definitely suits the grubby grimey look of that era and was almost boffable.

5) Connie and the Queen sandwich please, on Athos' nights off.

MavisGrind Tue 11-Mar-14 21:11:43

<Sweeps in> Evening wenches, <looks up and down> my, what fine work there has been done today.

Notice the tailing of commitment to my lovely Athos though. Oh well, we'll manage <helps Hannah with the window latches>

I did enjoy the showing of the door to the GoT and BC lovers! And my, having thought a lot about that episode, the Cardinal is fine in a black shirt!

Hah! Read that wenches!!

Aliba - the queue for Athos starts behind ME, I think you'll find. Though I wouldn't waste your time because I won't be finished any time in the next ten billion lifetimes.

But if you are going to join, then none of the 'oh he's so miserable'....'I'd have to tell him to pull himself together'....

ANY of that nonsense, and you will be automatically ejaculated from the queue. Dedicated wenches only, get a look in.

If you've paid any attention to Athos, you will have realised by now that he isn't the sort to go for the fickle, shallow, insincere, judgemental, superficial sort stinkers oblomov

So far it's me, and way way way way way way way way way ..................... way way way back, it's Mavis.

Take a ticket and wait your turn!

Oh and yes, I totally agree. Commendations to DrinkFeck for services to the thread.

I thought once again it was handled with grace and humility.

even though she wished me to my death from a great height, but I know that, that is just her way of being affectionate. And I realise she is not all there anyway, what with her taste in men etc

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 21:18:05

You is a wise woman, Mavis for seeing how black suits the soul of Cardinal. smilem

MavisGrind Tue 11-Mar-14 21:20:18

Oh surely Hannah we can come to some arrangement, I'm a practical woman after all <channels Cardinal>. How about I have Athos from, say, now until, er, how about, I die. And then you can have him. With me being that much older than you I reckon that sounds fair and reasonable....

Tbh, my X's to a man have all been the moody brooding type. You'd think I'd be all over D'Artagnan. <never learns>

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 21:27:42

Love the PC is drinking whisky. or cognac.smile

MavisGrind Tue 11-Mar-14 21:27:57

View when I wake up.... <puts a wash on, again>

MavisGrind Tue 11-Mar-14 21:29:07

Poor lamb, as everyone's second go-to shag, he gets left out a bit..

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 21:31:21

MTM quick, hannah says one have to be unhinged to fancy Cardinal. YET AGAIN!

But yes, I hitnk I deserve some recognition for helping you to jump in person.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 21:32:09

How many times must Athos have barfed after all that drinking?

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 21:32:38

For NOT helping you to jump in person, ffs

LetUsPrey Tue 11-Mar-14 21:35:24

I still can't get over Athos spilling wine. Is there not a law against that? I would imagine there's a few willing to punish naughty Athos though

MavisGrind Tue 11-Mar-14 21:37:40

Oh, don't worry LetUsPrey I've given him a right good seeing talking to. He shan't be doing that again.

(I want a glass of wine now. How long until Friday??)

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 21:45:38

Bloody typical. When I'm on almost no one is and then vice versa. Should we synchronise or something? I'm sure we could find time suiting most or at least let's organise some shifts, huh?

That way we'll save time for other things, more efficient we'll be.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 21:45:58

WHy can't you have a glass now, Mavis?

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 21:46:16

It's ok Drink. Don't worry she's just jealous that we have a man who is capable of not crying over a girl who dumped him.

Here is a picture ofAthos with his face done up

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 21:48:55

Not sure what some of you are not understanding hmm.
The man is sexy, yeah?

Mavis - listen to your inner voice. It is steering you in the right direction. It's calling......

... This way >>> This way Mavis >>> Come away from the darkness Athos >>> Walk towards the light d'artagnan >>> Come Mavis >>> Follooooow >>> wooooh wooooooh..

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 21:50:42
MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 21:52:47
DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 21:53:23

Although, this picture has made me choke on wine… I'm still coughing and all and swallowed some air. Up my nose too. I do love him but from 49 onwards, sorry mate.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 11-Mar-14 21:54:14

beautiful, yes… and a bit hungry...

Look at me Mavis. LOOK AT ME! <smoulder>

MavisGrind Tue 11-Mar-14 21:54:46

I can't have a glass now because I drank it all have none in. I'm supposed to be on a no alcohol Sun-Thurs self imposed rule otherwise I'm buggered for work but sometimes that is just no fun. <thinks of liver>

Am enjoying the notion that a thread about shagging historical/fictional characters senseless needs an element of efficiency injected into it! grin

And yes, MTM there is no denying PC scrubs up well. It's just that, if you recall the original OP all those thousands of posts ago, I had no trouble in deciding on Athos <steadfast>. So you can keep the Cardinal. For the time being.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 21:55:19

Oh Maaaaaaaaavis, over here Mavis.....

'How you doin'?' <wink>

MalcolmTuckersMistress Tue 11-Mar-14 21:57:35
AnneWentworth Tue 11-Mar-14 21:58:19

Fuck it, send him over here Hannah. Mavis obviously missed the throwing of guns and swords in frenzied passion. I'll take one as many as d'Art has in him for the team.

MavisGrind Tue 11-Mar-14 22:02:17

Ha ha ha Hannah, nice try love <pats top of Hannahs head> No, Athos all the way thank you very much although I was quite taken with the sweeping and weaponry crashing to the floor. Could have done without the eyebrow acting master class though.

AnneWentworth Tue 11-Mar-14 22:05:25

Just started reading the book and d'Art is duelling all the time which is fuelling my attraction. (Aramis is still my true love before anyone tries to insinuate that I am somehow neglecting).

It does beg the question as to whether I need to address my obvious attraction to men being violent.

Nothing hotter than a man shooting to kill.

MavisGrind Tue 11-Mar-14 22:06:08

Tried to find a shaggable D'Artagnan photo. Got distracted by the crinkly eyes (again).

MavisGrind Tue 11-Mar-14 22:07:31

Is it not sword play you prefer Anne <snigger> or is it just any old wanton violence. I do like a good sword fight me.

Stinklebell Tue 11-Mar-14 22:10:59

If Athos spilt his red wine all over my nice white duvet cover I'd kick his ass from here till next week. There's nothing more annoying than a pissed bloke spilling fucking red wine every where

Still would though if he could actually get it up

EvaTheOptimist Tue 11-Mar-14 22:13:40

Athos has just stopped by and needs some distractions to forget his issues... so see you tomorrow... <triple bolts windows>

Stinklebell Tue 11-Mar-14 22:14:19

Dear god, he smiles....kind of

SooticaTheWitchesCat Tue 11-Mar-14 22:16:09

Oh don't worry about Mavis, D'artagnan, Sootica is here grin

MavisGrind Tue 11-Mar-14 22:16:41