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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Help, hospitalised teenager, how can I help?

12 replies

weegiemum · 04/01/2010 20:17

Friends of ours have just found out that due to an accident their 17 year old daughter is going to be in hospital for 12 weeks. They live a long way from the hospital but it is very close to our house.

She's bright and sporty and very academically able and this is looking like scuppering her chances of going to medical school this year.

We're already providing the family with somewhere to stay on occasion and feeding them when we can, but would love suggestions of things we can do for their daughter during a long and immobile hospital stay. Any suggestions would be gratefully received.

OP posts:

almostreal · 04/01/2010 20:25

Ask her peronally if there is anything you could do for her, I.e contact a secret boyfriend or friend her parents don't like.
Maybe visit if you can, gives her someone else to talk to other than her parents.
Fill up her ipod (if she has one) with new music or tv programs she might like.
If you have a mini/travel portable dvd player lend it to her and maybe some boxsets she might like.

almostreal · 04/01/2010 20:26

Peronally I meant Personally.

Original poster

weegiemum · 04/01/2010 20:29

I'm going to pop in and see her this week - one of the things I wondered was just popping in regularly as it wouldn't be hard for me to do that and I have more free time than many people (I'm a sahm/pt student but my 3 kids are in school).

Good idea about the dvd player - we have a car one we won't be using for a while, I could see if she'd like that.

OP posts:

shelleylou · 04/01/2010 20:40

I second the dvd suggestion. Ive sorted out a variety tonight for my db (19) whos in hospital and not very mobile as attached to machines. Phone charger top up her phone for her when she needs it (db is allowd to use mobile on his ward). Definitely visit her as much as you can and let her know when your going so she knows she has someone coming to see her. Take in some juice and munch for her.

Lilymaid · 04/01/2010 20:43

I once spent 6 weeks immobile, so have some experience of this! I was in a side ward off a ward with much older people and was desperate for visitors. Can you pop in frequently? It really means a lot when you are in hospital. She will probably appreciate fresh fruit and non hospital food. Can you arrange to get her friends to visit at weekends perhaps with some pizza? Music, access to TV (usually no problem nowadays in hospital) and radio and perhaps offer to wash some of her clothes (if she isn't stuck in a hospital gown. I had to lie on my back, so DH got permission to decorate the ceiling of my room.

shelleylou · 04/01/2010 20:44

laptop and a dongle if you have one she could borrow to keep in contact with friends.

CMOTdibbler · 04/01/2010 20:46

Could you get a LoveFilm subscription for a couple of months so that you could take her in different DVDs every couple of days ?

Offer to do washing for her so that she can have a couple of pyjama changes a day without worrying about running out.

Popping in everyday (ask her if she would like that though), and giving her your mobile number so that she can text you if there is anything she needs/fancies having picked up. I imagine 12 weeks of hospital food would make having a McDs or Starbucks on your horizon very welcome

Original poster

weegiemum · 04/01/2010 20:46

Keeping in touch is going to be a big thing as she is over 100 miles from home (lives remote rural and is in a big city specialist facility).

Maybe we could offer to put up a friend or two overnight if they were coming to see her.

I'll also ask (discreetly) about boyfriend etc .....

OP posts:

MitchyInge · 04/01/2010 20:48

my daughter spent over 5 months in hospital (anorexia) not so long ago

it was gruelling, especially at first when she was critically ill and in real danger - after that total bed rest just went on and on and on

things that would have helped:

help with youngest child, esp. after school pick up

someone else to visit the one in hospital now and then so could reassure, have time with other two as well as earn living

(it is amazingly expensive to have a child in hospital long term)

meals for rest of family

someone to cry all over after a visit

almostreal · 04/01/2010 20:52

Weegie thats sounds like a really good idea, she will be desperate to see some friends after awhile.

care4families · 06/01/2010 19:23

My school friend was in hospital for along time with spinal surgery. I was the only person in the class close enough to visit, which I did several days a week. So perhaps you could offer to help school friends visit.

LollipopViolet · 08/01/2010 17:29

Weegiemum, no advice as I've not had the experience of being in hospital overnight, let alone long term (I'm 20 with no kids).

But just wanted to tell you, if it was me, I'd really appreciate it and I think it's wonderful you're asking for ways to help.

Actually, do you have a video camera? If you can get some of her friends to record messages to her, it might really help, between their visits? Then take a laptop in and show her the footage?

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