Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

as a mother of a 2yo, my mother keeps telling me wait till shes a teen she will do this and that, haha you've got it all to come

27 replies

carriedababi · 10/10/2009 23:31

it's really annoying.

any advice.

such as somepeople actually get on withtheir teens you know, it's not impossible

OP posts:
bogwobbit · 10/10/2009 23:46

Were you a terrible teen? Is this your mum's way to getting her own back? Or have you got a lovely well behaved 2 year old and she's bit jealous and hopes you get brought back down to earth when she's a teenager.
I have one teenage dd and one in her 20s (as well as a 12 year old ds and a 5 yo). While the older two 'had their moments' as they say, it certainly wasn't the unreminiting, inevitable hell on earth that some people would have you believe. I actually got on with them pretty well, most of the time. Don't want to tempt fate too much in case the younger two turn into the teenagers from hell though
Just smile serenely when she tells you this...and hope for the best.

teamcullen · 11/10/2009 00:02

That really used to piss me off when mine were little.

My oldest has hit her teens now and although she can be a pita she can also be lovely. Going for a pint of milk nowadays is'nt a 30 minute mission to get 3 pairs of shoes, 3 coats on, get the pram out, just to go to the corner shop.

Bath time they can do themselves
Im starting to get a lie in (youngest is 7). Although they can have almighty arguments at home, they dont throw themselves on the floor in Asda kicking and screeming
They can tell me what is wrong when they are sick

So yes teenagers do come with their own problems, but bringing up toddlers is bloody hard work and its unfair when people try and brush it under the carpet by saying its hard when they are teenagers. At least when they are teenagers you get a bit of a break

Tortington · 11/10/2009 00:04

just say " i am sure i will be able to handle it better than some people" pointedly.

agree with cullen - teens are a piece of piss compared to babies and todlers.

ADifferentMe · 11/10/2009 10:53

Just get her to read the thread on here about lovely teenagers - then ignore her.

If I ever mention in passing a bit of minor teen irritation from my two, my mum always sneers, "well, we know who they got that from, don't we!". I'm 47 but still want to stomp out slamming doors when she does that.

purepurple · 11/10/2009 10:58

Actually, your mother is wrong.
If you get it right now, teens will be a breeze.
Start as you mean to go on.
They don't suddenly change the minute they hit 13 you know
Kevin becomes a teenager

Original poster
carriedababi · 11/10/2009 14:19

thanks she think i was terrible, but to be honest i really wasn't that bad at all.

good ideas esp custys line

OP posts:
inthesticks · 12/10/2009 15:29

When my boys were born I was so relieved not to have a daughter in case she was as hideous as I was as a teenager. My mother must have been a saint.
Of course I know now that not all children are difficult teenagers just as not all two year olds have tantrums.
Still suspect boys might be easier than girls though.

Original poster
carriedababi · 12/10/2009 15:35

um don't know about that inthesticks.

when i was pg i was actually really concerned about having a girl, after my mother told me how hideous girls are

but to my relief ive found that alot of crap.

and i'm glad i had a girl because it's made that fear go for me

OP posts:
inthesticks · 12/10/2009 17:24

carriedababi I'm sure you're right. At the time I was pg I had no experience of children at all and just an abiding memory of the awful rows at home caused by me.

I wish now I had both boys and girls because I'm finding DS now has girlfriends and I'm so out of touch with teenage girldom that I don't know how to talk to them.
Lads I know about.

musicposy · 12/10/2009 19:34

I'd just say "well, I'll worry about that when it happens", in a dismissive tone, and change the subject. Don't let it get to you - and don't believe it!

My eldest is nearly 14, she was a terror as a toddler. Used to escape from 5 point harnesses and run off when shopping, throw a wobbly if she so much as saw one of those rides you put money in, and bite all the boys at preschool with her imaginary dog. Now she is truly lovely, the best, funniest company imaginable. We get the odd door slam, but that's nothing compared to lying on the floor in Tescos at 2 years old and screaming! Plus I get cups of tea in bed .

Don't worry, just ignore it. Build up a good mum/daughter relationship now, and life with your two year old is set to get better and better

Original poster
carriedababi · 12/10/2009 22:38

thanks guys

OP posts:
dollyparting · 13/10/2009 07:50

I suppose I can understand a little where she might be coming from. My friend has a vvvpfb who is 2 and she and her husband over-worry and over-think absolutely every moment of their parenting (I am sure this is not like you).

My dh and I do think "Hmmm, wait until she is a teenager...."

Doesn't mean teens are terrible - just that my friend will probably need a different approach by then.

GetOrfMoiLand · 13/10/2009 07:57

Teens are an absolute walk in the park compared to pre-schoolers. You don't get waken up by shrieking at 6am for one thing.

I don't know what people are on about when they say they dread/are scared of teenagers. Apart from the odd hormonal mood swing and unspeakable bedrooms it's a breeze.

sarah293 · 13/10/2009 08:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

notagrannyyet · 13/10/2009 12:41

I have 3 teenage DS. They can be lovely all of them. Trouble is there is always one of them sulking, throwing a strop, or complaining that so-and-so isn't fair!

Not sure boys are easier inthestick{smile].
My boys are very competitive. They do lots of sport and they are determined to win.The older 2 who are over 6ft tall struggle to make allowances for their 12 year old brother. Even board games cause trouble!

Babies & toddlers are hard work but parents are still in charge. You can choose what they eat and wear, what time they go to bed, and how money is spent. I know sometimes it doesn't feel like it when they're kicking and screaming in Tescos, but in the end most DC do comply. When they're teens you have little control over friends, homework, bedtimes etc. All you is trust they are sensible and try and control the purse strings. You just continually swap one set of parenting problems for another!

justgaveup · 17/10/2009 17:52

OP i sympathise with you, I have this ongoing jokey row with my brother in law who has 2 teenagers, I have 2 under 5's - he always rolls his eyes and says 'teenagers are so much harder'...it does wind me up at times.

For example the other week, his kids were both out overnight with their friends, he and sister in law got to have a lovely night in together, full nights sleep...on the same day my 2yr old flung his full nappy across the living room splattering poo all over my cream wallpaper and i spent 1 hr scrubbing shit off my walls whilst both kids were jumping on my back shouting 'play with me mummy, play with me'...argh!!

However...last week, his 16yr old told him she's pregnant by a lad she only met twice who has now dissapeared!!

I came off phone and cuddled my kids up safe in the knowledge that I know where they are 24hrs a day!

swings and roundabouts!

AllGoneSouth · 17/10/2009 17:57

Well mine were fabulous toddlers and now they are fabulous teens - but that's because I'm a fabuolous mother don't you know

Miggsie · 17/10/2009 18:02

It really winds me up when people look at a child and start projecting God knows how many years in the future as to what they will be like.
Why not enjoy and deal with the now?

I mean one day she will be dead, shall you start planning the coffin together?

pointyhat · 17/10/2009 18:02

What rot.

I'd rather have a teen than a 2 year old - not nearly as exhausting.

Teens can cause you worry of a different sort but so far I've found it far more preferable to having toddlers.

bumbling · 17/10/2009 18:02

Are we related Carrie. Your mother is mine. Cow pisses me off as much as when I was a teenager. I do love her hugely, but it really annoys me share can't just help me now, in the same way she couldn't just help when I was a teenager. Snide remarks all the way through my life. That's the key to avoiding the teenage troubles...At least that's what I tell myself.

bumbling · 17/10/2009 18:04

Badly thought through comments is one thing, but my Typos typos typos. Fgs. What would my mother say about THAT? So "she can't just help me now" ...

witcheseve · 17/10/2009 18:08

Second what MusicPosy said, similar experience to mine. Give me teens compared to toddlers anytime.

2rebecca · 21/10/2009 09:44

My teenagers are great at the moment but are young teens. I found babyhood the worst time, all that never having any time to yourself and not being able to do interesting stuff.
Now they entertain themselves alot of time, are fun and interesting to be with and don't wake up at 5am.
Expect the late teens to be harder, although I wasn't a difficult teenager, too academic and bookwormy to rebel much, saved that for university when I'd moved out. I think parents who keep adult kids at home when they are ready to move into bedsits etc have problems, but my kids have so far just got better as they got older.

cat64 · 22/10/2009 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ilovepiccolina · 31/10/2009 22:51

Oh golly, do we all share the same mother? Agree about ignoring the jibes - teens can be grumpy, self-centred etc but also a total joy to spend time with.

I've handled things differently to the way my mother did with me, partly due to excellent advice here on MN, but when I was a teen it was always constant battles & confrontation with her. Recently she told me that I ought to put my foot down about DD's awful eye-make-up. I told her that she'd grow out of it, and that I would make a fuss only about improtant things. There was a silence, then Mum admitted that my way is better than hers!!!!