...nearly 16 yr old boy has morphed overnight from Mr Messy into neat freak- or is he a changeling?

[duchesse]

He wants something! I said he could move into the spare bedroom if he started to keep his current room clean, tidy, and sweet-smelling.

His room used to be an inch deep in dust, have 1.5 feet of dirty clothing stuffed under the bed, and his desk was so untidy you couldn't actually pile anything more on it. The wardrobe only shut because of the rubber bands wrapped around the knobs, and anyone foolhardy enough to open would have been engulfed by an avalanche of unsorted clean washing.

Over the last three days, he has

1. sorted out his outgrown clothes and put them out for his friend
2. fitted a shelf inside his wardrobe for his ties and socks
3. cleaned everything spotlessly
4. Gone onto Youtube, ffs, to learn how to fold tee shirts shop-style. His wardrobe now has to be seen to be believed. It is freakishly tidy. He is also following Youtube tutorials on ironing creases into his trousers.
5. Put an air freshener or something on top of his wardrobe. The room is fragrant, ladies and gentlemen. No longer is it redolent of a dung-heap.

The question is, how long will this last? And how long should I keep him at his trial before allowing him to move rooms? How long d'you reckon it'll take to reform his character entirely?

I bet he's got a crush on a girl who hates a messy room

I would give it a fortnight .

Thing is, ggirl, I don't think it is a girl! And even if it were, she would be very unlikely to ever see his room since we live in the back of beyond and he never has friends over. I really think it's because he has his eye on the spare room.

Send him over here please! I'm in a constant battle with my mum about MY messy room. I just can't get it immaculate enough....sigh

duchesse - a tricky problem to be sure.

The thing is DS can keep this up as long as it takes until you give in and he gets the spare room. Then he can immediatley allow that to become a stinking pit - just like his old room used to be.

Its really a question now of working out a way of keeping it going once he is in there.

Of course you could use 'the stick' of theatening to move him back to his old room. However, carrrots work better.

A 'girl' would be an excellent incentive but as there is no 'girl' and never likely to be one it will have to be somethng else.

When I was his age I really wanted my own space and privacy (obviously a girl as well but privacy was a good start).

How about you do a new deal with him?

You agree he can move to the spare room straight away and that you will not go in the room so long as he changes his bed, puts his washing in the appropriate place, irons his own clothes, puts them away and vacuums his room once per week. If he does not do those things then you will assume that he wants you to do it for him and hence that he is also happy for you to enter his room.

That way he can have his privacy so long as he gives you no reason to enter his room.

dd (13) kept this total neatness up for about 3 months. Her motivation was I wouldn't let he have her ears pierced unless she kept it clean & tidy as I didn't believe if she couldn't do that that she'd manage to keep her ears clean. It gradually regressed to being messy again with occasional tidying (huge, huge improvement on before), and has remained clean.

The youtube bit cracked me up!

Are you sure he hasn't had the 'how clean is your house' team in on the quiet?

WLTM your young man, my DS of exactly the same age wants to go into the RAF and if he could achieve even a quarter of what you have described it would stand him in good stead in the forces I'm sure!! I don't think even the promise of a flight in an RAF Tornado would elicit that type of outcome in him though!

Whatever your DS's motivation, now he has proved to himself that he can do it, hopefully it will last, think ABetaDad's suggestions from the male perspective are great.

Good luck!!

BetaDad, yes indeed- it is good to have male insight on this.

Actually I don't he's all that bothered about me going into his room as long as I don't burst in unexpectedly and catch him naked, or move anything. He certainly didn't like me me opening his windows even at the height of the worst of it (and boy did it need its windows opening...)

Thank you everyone for your comments. It does confirm what I thought, that it will take longer than a few weeks for him to become a reformed character...