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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

year 11's and revision?

32 replies

crkm · 02/01/2009 11:46

how much/little are your dc 's doing?

dd is year 11 with exams in a couple of weeks and i cant get her to do any revision. she spends half the day in bed and then hours washing/drying/straightening her hair then wonders downstairs aimlessly and does 'stuff' all for the rest of the day. have tried bribing her and cajoling her and getting angry and sarcastic and nothing works!! she has a future plan ie knows what she wants to do at uni and a career, so she knows these exams are vital (even the mocks) so why wont she revise? i feel bad if i dont at least try to get her to do some work. i get letters from school saying she has not handed various courseworks in, which she makes excuses for and shrugs off. i would have been mortified if my school had sent a letter home about me not handing work in!

OP posts:
scienceteacher · 02/01/2009 11:50

Take away her hair straighteners

pagwatch · 02/01/2009 12:06

My DS1 is doing two hours per day.

I am not sure how I would react if he wasn't tbh but he knows that he needs to do well in these mocks so he is pretty motivated.
But my view is that he gets the comfortable life he does only if he meets our reasonable expectations. I think my reaction would be to make sure that he understood that if he performs below what he is capeable of all his pocket money etc would stop.

Being attentive at school is currently his 'job'. If he didn't do minimally well then I am pretty sure his priveledges would be removed.

sarah293 · 02/01/2009 12:11

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TotalChaos · 02/01/2009 12:18

if it's only the mocks then I wouldn't worry too much - I'd be more concerned about outstanding coursework.

pagwatch · 02/01/2009 12:21

Riven

DS did a charity shopping pack at the local supermarket. He came back and drafted his revision timetable

AMumInScotland · 02/01/2009 12:37

Mocks aren't the end of the world, and often act as a "wake-up call" when they realise just how badly they're going to do if they don't get their finger out. But coursework matters - will she even be allowed to sit the real exams without the coursework in? Point out what a waste of time the last two years of studying will have been if she throws it all away now.

sarah293 · 02/01/2009 14:11

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Message withdrawn

pagwatch · 02/01/2009 14:12

absoloutely. Even at his age he needs to get a grasp of priorities.

twoluvlyNewYearsResolutions · 02/01/2009 14:14

can your teen do any computer based revision?

the BBC Bite Size stuff is quite good, and they get to play computer games during the tests as well.

covers most subjects, I think.

Original poster
crkm · 02/01/2009 14:20

I know i need to be firmer - confiscating things and making her get up to do her work etc - but can i stand the dirty looks, mutterings etc etc that come with it? all her teachers say she is bright and will do well if she applies herself. We have always encouraged her and told her she can do well if she works hard.

amuminscotland - she appears to have handed in the course work now - very overdue but at least its in!!

am off to find her hair straightners before she gets home and to write up a pocket money payout plan for revision!!!

thanks all

OP posts:
Original poster
crkm · 02/01/2009 14:21

have banned her from the omputer as she says she is on revision sites but not sure what msn has on it that is revision............

OP posts:
Original poster
crkm · 02/01/2009 14:22

sorry Computer

OP posts:
pagwatch · 02/01/2009 14:23

crkm

at the risk of confusing you

I would not do a reward for work. Riven is right - you shouldn't have to coerce her. She needs to see that this is all for her long term benefit.
I was just saying that if I thought DS1 was being unreasonably lazy then I would impose consequences.

Don't 'pay' her to perform - that will make it even more about you.

You don't need to be harsh. You just need to get her to see that she will fuck up her future if she allows idleness to affect her potential...

mumeeee · 02/01/2009 14:29

Mocks aren't vital. So I would just remind her about revising and then let her get on with it. DD1 21 who was very good at revising for exams didn't really revise for her mocks. But she got 4 A's and 6 B's in ber GCSE's. She then whet on to get 2 A's and a C in her A levels and has left university with a First in Zoology,

katinat · 02/01/2009 17:02

In our house, we have priorities and the kids know this fact. Academics is a priority. If they slack off, there are consequencesno computer, no cell phone, no ipod. They do not get a reward for good grades as it is expectedthey are smart kids. They do get grief if they don't work to their potential. We expect them to do their best in school and eventually, in life. Good school habits can be started young--no one will be around to push them to do well in college.

Tortington · 02/01/2009 17:08

theres a couple of things

mocks aren't that important.

where is the ambition? her future plan include working at tescos part time and doing evenoing class

does she know the choices...i mean it might seem implicit - but it needs spelling out

pass exams - carry on with plan

fail exams - resit exams carry on with plan but a year behind your friends.

fail exams - dont bother with resits - get a job in poundland.

thats what needs spelling out

the thing is that we can learn at any age - i was 21 with e kind under 5 when i went back to college and then uni - and i know that 16 isn't the deadline - it does rather come across that way - PASS or lead miserable poor life - but one can learn at any age

that last paragraph was for your comfort only - fgs dont tell your dd that! tell her to get her arse in gear or poundland here we come.

stleger · 02/01/2009 17:18

BBC bitesize is good for any bits that are hard to grasp - my dd uses it and we aren't in UK!

kickassangel · 02/01/2009 17:23

as a teacher i'd just say that some mocks ARE important - some subjects are modular, and although it may be possible to retake, they can go towards the finl grade. also, some subjects will take a mock result if all other resutls are in 7 a pupil is ill (with docotrs note) for final exams in june.

it is tempting to let them go into 'freefall' and hope the shock will wake them up if they fail, but teenage compacency is highly resilient.

if you're getting letters home about coursework, that's also fairly serious - the next stage at our school was hour long detentions, with relevent subject teachers, parents invited to attend, every week until the work was done, so pretty major 'hands on'.

you can always contact her form teacher & ask for a 'round robin' or quick update after mocks, maybe just projected grades, current grade, and one or two words about effort etc, if there's no parents eve or reports home soon.

good luck - ime experience (12 yearrs at this age group) it's the ones whose parents intervene that pull through best.

wheresthehamster · 02/01/2009 17:27

Aren't mocks over? From what I remember from last year the exams coming up are the 'real thing'. e,g. science modules. Maybe that was just our school. I remember dd1 panicking

15yearsyoung · 02/01/2009 18:08

Would making her revision a practical thing help?

I made playing card size cards with notes on for every subject or bought already made cards and it helped. For some subjects writing helps, for others pratice, for others just reading the information.

e.g For Science I bought a box of topic cue cards off amazon and these have helped really well. I got the same for History, French and R.E

For some parts of history I made my own.

For maths I bought 100 cards with extra information and revision tips off
www revisioncards co uk

Revision books also help too.

I suppose they helped me because I am lazy and thought oh someone has written the notes for me all I have to do is read them.
Even so it worked and I am predicted A's and A's as I got A's and B's, also one A in my mocks.

Hope I helped.

Original poster
crkm · 02/01/2009 19:15

thanks all. she has revision books and cards for note taking. maybe i should just trust her now!!

Custardo - I got my degree as a mature student, started it when dd started school at 4. had always hoped that she would see that as a positive role model for her studies. I agree its not the end of the world if she doesnt get her exams - but it will be the end of her cozy existence !!

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Tortington · 02/01/2009 19:19

yip agreed! its so much easier for them if they do it now, youth is wasted on the young! gosh darn it.

my ds2 is just chuffed to get into any old college to do machanics. dd was v. particular and wants one specific college - hasn't applied to any others but is working as diligently as ...well she is able to really.

dd hasn't got the fortitude to study at home, but she is a cheeky mare and will ask teachers to help her out and she will happily stay after school - she stayed til 7pm one night, the teachers were most impressed - she even got a brew and a biscuit.

so maybe thats the answer, maybe do it at school?

lilolilbethlehem · 02/01/2009 22:26

DS had GCSE mocks starting in a weeks time. He has done a total of 2 hours revision all holiday. almost impossible to get him to do anything. Am going to have to sit with him I think.

lilolilbethlehem · 02/01/2009 22:26

MODULES - REAL MODULES - not mocks. I wish.

snorkle · 02/01/2009 23:17

Are your dcs doing more/less or the same amount of work at home in year 11 than year 10? Do they pick up the pace of their own volition, or once they get used to doing only a little, is that a pattern that is hard to break?

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