Is anyone else feeling totally overwhelmed with year 11 ?

[pavillion1]

I am so so overwhelmed right now I think I’m going to lose it .. I knew this year was going to be heavy and I really did lay it on thick over the summer to my DS that he was going to be “locking in “ but fuck me it’s hard 😢

What exactly is it you are finding hard? It will help us offer advice and encouragement if you can explain a bit more. Does he have a revision timetable? are school putting on before or after school revision sessions? Does he have November mocks? I found it best to break it down into sections. So work towards November mocks then February mocks then the real thing rather than focusing on the end game straight away.

What is the issue?
It is a big year, but they (and you) have to pace themselves.

If you go onto the Secondary Education board there will be a y11 thread. You may find companionship there.

Are you a bit over involved maybe? I get wanting to hell your child but him being in year 11 shouldn’t be this difficult for you

What are you struggling with? The responsibility for y11 lies squarely with your son.

My Son is the main issue 😢 he just doesn’t get it . Does not get how important it is to set time aside to revise and do coursework. Deadlines mean nothing to him he just ignores them .. For context we border London and the School we chose is rapidly losing its staff he has so many cover lessons and has done since year 9 it’s kind of been easy to just do the minimum as theirs no consistency. Over the summer I sorted all his year 10 books bought folders and set him up for the year and we started off well for the first two weeks . We have got him a science tutor for triple science but we can not afford to do it for all subjects. He has a week of Mocks ahead of him and course work due in . I have constant emails about work and revision he should be doing .. He’s doing aspirations and they have brought in teachers short term to get them through these next few months.. He had his English Lit and business studies teacher go on long term sick last year .. Homework has been lax and not any follow up on missed work . I’m rambling so please don’t pull apart my grammar I’m certainly not well educated myself. It’s just a lot .. they are throwing all sort of expectations at us and providing us with really useful links so I can’t say they are leading us blind , they are trying . Ds 16 currently living his best life he’s gained a girlfriend and a weekend job .. he is loving life right now and I feel like im the big bad wolf ruining it and it feels like their is not enough hours in the day .. His Dad and me both work full time trying to keep a roof over our heads ..
its a lot to read , I know 😩

What are his aspirations? Is he likely to meet grades required?

Make sure you apply for things needing lower grades as fallback.

He can't go full tilt from now until June.

What are his grades like currently and what does he want to do next? I know how easy it is to catastrophe but if he is on course for the grades he needs for what he wants to do next then great. If he doesn't know what he wants to do, then get him looking into it and looking what he needs. It was knowing what they needed to achieve that got my boys motivated rather than just a vague "these are important"

The main message I'd focus on is that your son is at the age where you cannot do this for him. I know you want him to not screw this up but he is 16 and he needs to find the motivation to do this, or he needs to fail and work out the cost of that and hopefully that teaches him the motivation. I'd sit down with him and with his dad and just lay out what happens if he doesn't pull his finger out (doesn't get his grades, can't go to sixth form, has to get a full time job, whatever it is - be deadly serious about it) and then I'd drop the rope.

Unfortunately it’s sound like he has no appreciation of deferred gratification which is what’s required to apply oneself academically. I’d be investing in some coaching specifically around this and then hopefully the rest will fall into place.

Thank you

I’m suprised at this response

People have very different views in how involved to be as a parent in y11.

Some say it is entirely up to the child.

Others view it that some DC just aren't mature enough to be left to it when the results will directly impact opportunities and choices for y12/13.

Plus all the range in-between.

He is in top sets but bottom of them so he’s trying to keep afloat he’s only bottom because of his lack of interest not ability but tbh I think it all links in .. I’m just overwhelmed with it all . I’m so desperate for him to do better than what I have achieved and the world is so messy I fear for the ones who don’t do well .. life’s going to be hard for them .

Agreed

Not financially possible

I wouldn't worry too much about that. Plenty of people who do brilliantly at GCSE, A Level then Uni struggle to find work and have massive student debt. Meanwhile I know plenty who passed maths and English and not much else who have don't apprenticeships in a trade and are now making great money.

I’d be happy with that

What does he want to do next?

Find out what the entry requirements are.
Most 6th forms want an average grade of X across 8 or 9 subjects and then at least a 6 or 7 in the GCSEs they want to study at A-Level.

Have a back-up plan too if grades are not met. Which college will he go to or apprenticeship will he apply for and find out the grades needed for these.

Make your son think about his next step and make him aware of the grades he needs to achieve this.

By now, schools are putting on voluntary interventions lessons (before or after school and during lunchtime), is he going to these?

Mock exam results usually give the kids the kick up the bum they need to ‘lock-in’ too.

I think you're putting too much weight on GCSEs. They are really not that important as long as he passes, particularly Maths and English. Sounds like he will anyway if he's in top sets. There will be plenty of options available to him post-GCSE. I think you should take a bit of pressure off and let him get on with it (my daughter has just been through Y11).

Revise?

It's OCTOBER. Chill the fuck out.

He will be getting a ton of pressure at school, home should be a safe space. If he doesn't want to study you can't make him at this age. Not everyone is cut out to be academic.

I've one DD who is at university who got 9s and 8s at GCSE and one DD had a wonderful primary school experience but who hated secondary school from the first day of Y7 and was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD.

She managed to pass her Maths and English GCSEs with a tutor at home and is doing very well in her job, and has a nice group of friends, but absolutely no desire to study further at the moment.