Annual Halloween event for dd and her df awkward situation

[orangesprinkles]

Every year I take dd and her df to a Halloween party event.
theres a haunted house and silly things for the dc to do and it has separate areas for young and teenagers so over the years its been perfect
anyway this year as usual dd asks her df and they said they want to go.

its not cheap and im happy to pay for an extra ticket for df but this year df has text dd back to ask if another girl can come with us Dd doesn’t really like this girl but doesn’t want any hurt feelings. I haven’t purchased the ticket yet and wont be purchasing one for a girl dd doesn’t like. How’s best to navigate this? Dd and df go to different schools but the invited girl is at dd school so she doesn’t want to be awkward about it as she sees her everyday but definitely doesn’t want her to join them and also doesn’t want to be a group of 3.

i would get dd to say you had already bought 3 tickets. is it obvious on the website there are more tickets available?

Just say you've already bought 2 tickets? If the other girl decides to buy her own ticket snd meet them there then there's nothing you can do obviously, but no need for you to buy a third ticket.

How awkward and it's a bit cheeky of the friend to ask to bring someone else.

Can you make up an excuse about no space in the car or a limit on numbers per adult. Ie 1 adult and 3 kids is too much

I would tell her to tell the friend that the tickets have already been brought but the extra friend can always go and meet um and hopefully the extra friend wont want to. Also make it clear your not comfortable being uncharged of another person so the extra friend would need to make her own way

“I really like it being our own tradition, no offence to x but I would prefer to go just us two and I find that three is kinda awkward anyway. Let me know if that’s ok with you and I’ll get our pair of tickets sorted”

The real problem is if the extra girl does go and then they’re a three anyway even if I say we’re going just dd and df. I think it’s super cheeky as well.
Dd doesn’t want to go as a three especially when she doesn’t like the girl but also feels like she’ll now be a third wheel at an event she’s always gone to with her df. But yes I suppose a lot is out of our control now.

I'd get DD to text saying, 'I'd rather not include Sarah, if you don't mind. This has been a tradition for the two of us, and I was looking forward to spending time with you'.

It's calm, clear and nothing bad about 'Sarah' - but it also makes friend aware that your dd will not want Sarah to get her own ticket and join them. I agree with others that if that happens then DD is likely to find herself trailing along behind them like a third wheel.

Yes I think that’s the best thing to do. And hope the other girl doesn’t appear anyway!

It is probably going to happen anyway as the DD probably wants her to come

I would probably either rethink it as friendships change, and likely that this has happened

Or just say that she can but tickets are £x and get them all to pay. It sounds harsh but I have had kids being sent with no money for a day out and I am fed up with it now

So best to say it as it is. One mum did that with mine and I was delighted. Expectation of going for an event and other parent was sorting this and I had to pay that.

But... My gut is that the pal doesn't want to go with her now so maybe time for a rethink. Including others will change dynamics anyway and likely to leave your child out by sounds of it

I think as adults we do need to help our kids develop some flexibility in their situations.

Ideally your chilf would just choose to go with this one friend..but even as adults sometimes our friend turns up with another friend !

Its not the end of the world and really best seen as a minor not major difficulty

My daughter is shy and hates additional kids joining but I always try to encourage her to cope when it happens.

Understand building resilience etc but why pay for another child when your child isn't friends with them...

No way.

We also have to show kids not to be taken for a ride or be nieve. Kids can be sneaky so the fact the other child knows it is a free ticket and adds their friend would make me think my child would be left on own. Seen this too many times