First experience of college for autistic 16 y.o. - is this normal?

[Chaosatcollege]

16 y.o. DS has started college after a lifetime of home ed. He's doing a foundation course with specialist subject plus maths & English GCSE. Specialist subject is a boy-friendly one and only a couple of the students are girls. DS thinks that at least a third of the other students might be ND, but it might well be higher. The class culture seems to be oozing testosterone with boys jockeying for position.

DS is autistic, being assessed for ADHD and his EHCP specifies that he should be taught individually at first and only gradually introduced into the class. He is supposed to have 1:1 support all the time he's on campus, largely to help with social & emotional issues, partly to help with concentration problems. In practice, he's been in the class with everyone else from the word go, which he and we were happy with. He is desperate to fit in and look like everyone else. However, the support worker seems to be being used as general class support rather than just for DS.

A number of students are interacting with DS in ways that make him feel unsettled and uncomfortable. One boy has been telling DS that he [DS] is gay and trying to get him to hug and kiss him. (DS is firmly heterosexual.) He offered DS money to hug him. He asked for his address and said he'd follow him home, and that if he didn't hug/kiss him, he'd kidnap DS and force him to. This boy apparently has a girlfriend. One girl has been what DS feels is overly friendly and today suggested that he should go home with her, then that she should go home with him. Other students have been saying things to DS that he doesn't understand, or doesn't know how to respond to and he feels unsettled & uncomfortable. This is part of the reason he has the 1:1 support person, but the support worker has mostly not been aware of or involved in any of these conversations, so hasn't been able to help DS interact with the other students. DS probably comes across as socially naive and a bit 'innocent' and would be an easy target for teasing or bullying. He's had problems in the past with NT children manipulating him.

The students in general are not interested in learning and say they don't care about passing any exams. A lot of class time is wasted in students chatting and messing about instead of working. During 2 lessons today, DS reported that 75% of the class time was taken up by people chatting or shouting rather than any work happening. At one point students were standing on the desks during lessons. The teachers aren't happy and tell students off but don't seem to be able to do much about it. DS is more academically capable than most of the other students and this has been commented on by classmates. However, his motivation for academics isn't that high and I can see it falling with the influence of the other students. I'm an ex-teacher (primary) and what DS describes sounds like complete chaos.

Does this sound normal for a college setting? My big gripe is that the 1:1 support worker isn't really 1:1 and isn't actually helping DS with the social interactions with classmates. If he ends up as the boy that others pick on then things will blow up spectacularly at some point in the future. DH is contacting the college about how the support worker is being deployed but isn't sure whether he should raise issues like the general class culture during lessons.

It's a very long time since college so who knows what behaviour is average these days but my biggest concern is the teenager making sexual threats to your son. I'd report that straight away.

I’ve no idea if that’s normal for college. I think the chatting in class is worth sticking out for a bit longer - it’s only September.

But the incorrect use of his 1:1 (who’s presumably paid for specifically for him) and the boy who threatened him need feeding back to the college asap.

Is it his 1-1 or is it the class's?
At that level of course there will i think be a class TA as standard anyway.
So that definitely needs sorting.

It is difficult in Foundation level and Level 1 because pretty much all the kids will have their own issues of some sort. It may take a bit of time to bed things in. Headphones when independent working helped my DD.

Keep advocating for your DS.

Contact the learning support manager and tell them.

He is supposed to have an individual 1:1 just for him, for all the time he's on campus. He's also supposed to be having 30 mins a day of emotional support sessions / special time / relationship building with his 1:1 staff, but that's not been happening.

"It is difficult in Foundation level and Level 1 because pretty much all the kids will have their own issues of some sort."

You're right, and that makes it harder of course. The best place for DS is a nice, understanding group of broadly NT teens. But that isn't really an option anywhere as he doesn't have enough motivation / attention for a school setting, and he hasn't managed any GCSEs yet so wouldn't be eligible for sixth form.

The pastoral / welfare support has been good - specific people (not the support staff) who he can go and talk to if he's struggling, which he's been accessing quite a bit. But the in-class support is a bit rubbish.

I would contact the SEN/Learning support department and the tutor and ask for clarification on the 1-1.

Either the TA is his in which case you need to make sure this is understood and acted upon, or it is a class TA, in which case you need to push for when they will recuit/obtain a 1-1 for your DS. Otherwise they are setting him up to fail.

For DD college was quickly able to distinguish she was interested and keen and well behaved which I think then made them pay more attention to ensuring she could learn.
If it is any help DD was able to have attendance at about 60% in her first year (anxiety and other MH issues) and still get her course done because she actually worked when she was there.

No, it is not typical and actually a lot of what you have posted is illegal.

You need to speak to the SENCO but I would also be asking for a meeting with the safeguarding lead to find out how they intend to protect your ds.

Yes, from my understanding, that kind of classroom behaviour is widespread in colleges.

Having a 1:1 to help with social interactions is a tricky thing. A boy is not going to “fit in” and look like everyone else if he’s always accompanied by an adult. It’s going to make him a target for bullies and pranksters unfortunately.

Having said that, if his EHCP says he should have one, then he should.

He was home schooled until 16 but did he have friends/groups he attended to build his social skills then?

Does he have an EHCP liaison person at college? DD is now in second year at college, they didn’t realise she even had an EHCP tilbi asked where her LSA support was, now we have regular meetings and she has LSA access and use of the quiet room when needed. College can be a bit less formal than school but the classroom you described sounds chaotic! Mt DD wouldn’t cope with that )huge sensory issues with noise and can’t manage peoply places for long even with powerful noise cancelling headphones. I’d be inclined to ask the EHCP department in the school for a meeting / phone call and sort the issues - good luck!

It’s understandable that there will be a period of adjustment for him, particularly in light of his additional needs, and teenagers can be loud and annoying at the best of times. The issue with the boy harassing him is obviously not okay and that is a specific concern that you should raise as soon as possible.

In terms of his EHCP, this definitely sounds like it needs to be clarified. I only have experience of primary school EHCPs but I’ve never known one that was funded for a FT 1:1. They pay for a certain number of hours and then the school has to try to make up the difference from its own budget if it can. I’m really not sure what the expectation is for your son but again it needs clarifying ASAP.

Ask for a meeting and give brief bullet points about your questions / concerns in advance so they can hopefully come to the meeting with some answers ready.

This isn't normal. DD2 has 1:1 at college and although it isn't perfect, she does get 1:1 through the day. She is doing a level 1 course and the students are mostly very quiet.

This isn’t a normal college course so behaviour is going to be an issue - you only really do these courses if you have Sen or other issues. 1:1 doesn’t mean separate teaching, it means a support worker in class.

Your EHCP can say a lot but has the college been given the right amount of funding to provide the 1:1. Firstly you must speak to the college and then of they raise the fact the support hasn’t been funded that’s one for the council. Why not online home ed?

Social stuff has been a real struggle. He had a brilliant group he saw multiple times weekly until a few years ago, but it fell apart fairly spectacularly and he's struggled since. Either he's in a welcoming group but isn't really interested in it, or is trying to be part of a big group where he feels left out and dysregulated.

Difficulties with emotional regulation mean that he usually needs a safe adult with him (which at the moment is a parent or 1 other adult friend) and even then he is often asked to stop attending the activity because there's an incident which causes significant distressed behaviours (meltdown). So there's not been much long-term consistency in his social groups in the last few years. He also gets on much better with younger children, so a class of his peers is always going to be hard.

His EHCP specifies that he will receive individual teaching out of class initially, and that he will gradually be introduced into the class setting when he's comfortable. That hasn't happened, but DS didn't want it to happen, so we've not complained about the fact that he's been in class from the word go.

It’s a tough time and hopefully the college will be responsive, but it’s still early in the term so things may settle down.

Lots of kids struggle with friendships, ND or not. It’s heartbreaking to watch. Has he connected with anyone? Are there groups or extra curricular activities at the college that he could be interested in? Sports are always good for building friendships.

He's had a very different background to the majority of the other children there. None of what you say surprises me, but I can see why you feel aggrieved.
1:1 teaching isn't ideal from a TA because often they aren't trained in the subject. It's also very difficult to facilitate social stuff via another adult at that age. Earlier on in school they can get more involved, set up scenarios, games etc, by 16/17 the children are almost adults.

Doing foundation classes and GCSE English and maths will mean he will be in classes with a lot of ND people and students who are not academically motivated. Although some of the ones repeating GCSE will just be a bit weak in those subjects.

The boy who is interacting with him inappropriately clearly has his own issues. This is worth raising with the school.

At this age, having a 1:1 does tend to inhibit normal social interactions for obvious reasons. Unless the child is exceptionally needy or they are there for a specific physical function such as scribe, 1:1 TAs do flit around more and help others to give the student a more normal, independent experience. They should be in the same classroom but not necessarily constantly glued to the students side. A lighter touch is often requested by the parent or student. I would have a meeting with the SENCo because if the EHCP states that he should have one all the time, and he wants this, then he should be having it.

Although my autistic child is younger op ibreally feel your pain here. Ultimately autistic children never get what they really need and so often are in completely inappropriate settings.

It sounda appalling tbh. Byt this may be a very low motivation group sadly if retaking exams.

I would be straight in and speaking to the senco but tbh I would be considering if its an appropriate setting.

This makes me sad as ultimately young people with additional learning needs need better provision not the lowest possible offer.

This is why we have a NEET crisis !

I would speak to the college.

In terms of EHCP provision, look at the exact wording in F of the EHCP.

If the wording is detailed, specified and quantified, speak to the college and LA. Remind them it isn’t optional. The LA is ultimately responsible for ensuring the provision is provided. This duty is absolute and non-delegable. If it persists despite you chasing, you can look at a pre-action letter then JR if necessary. Focus on the provision detailed, specified and quantified in F rather than the funding. If the college needs more funding, they need to go back to the LA.

However, if the wording is vague and woolly, it can’t be enforced and you should request an early review in order to improve the wording.

This is particularly important for the 1:1. A lot of times the wording around 1:1 is poor. If 1:1 is detailed, specified and quantified, it must be provided regardless of whether the college want to provide it or not and regardless of whether it is normal for the staff member who is supposed to be providing 1:1 to spend time helping others.

To give you an example of needing to look at the wording, and I appreciate you may have paraphrased for posting here, but individual teaching initially and gradually introduced to class can be incredibly vague. What do initially and gradually mean? Your definitions won’t be the same as the LA’s definition.

You probably need to have a chat with your DS as to what is important to him. If, like you say, it is fitting in and looking like everyone else then constant 1:1 adult accompanying him is not going to help him in that unfortunately, even if having the support may help him otherwise.