How to handle 15yr old DS with his GF

[Om83]

my 15 yr old son has his first girlfriend who is 14, had been moving quite slowly -after a few months they have had their first kiss last week.

we had been comfortable with them being in his room watching movies together, cuddled up on his bed but with the door open. But since their kiss I have walked past his room and they are either on top of each other/legs entangled and snogging with clothes on. I have been making a point of walking past his room loudly regularly but it’s just farcical and I don’t know how to deal with this!!

how do I handle this?! Do I let them continue or should I make his bedroom and lying in his bed off limits?? Is having the door open enough?!

we have spoken to DS about sex, he is fairly mature and assures us that they are far away from that, I trust him, but also urges happen and if there is the opportunity, I just worry about the snogging getting intense and leading on to something more intimate as obviously it can do. I feel as a parent I need to protect both of them at this age.

I don’t mind them kissing at all but am struggling to work out how do I allow them to have some space/ privacy without enabling them?

I think you remind him of basic respect for other people in the house - in the same way you and your DH don't stick your tongues down each others throats every three seconds (presumably anyway!) he needs to be aware of other people and whether his and his GFs behaviour is acceptable in company. I'd let them stay in the room but I'd expect them to break off the snogging when they hear you on the landing. If they can't manage that then I'd be having a conversation about expectations and if he can't control himself whether it's appropriate for them to have the freedom to hang out on his bed together.

Hmm I think id let them have the door closed! And just limit her time in the house? I can't imagine anything more gross than having to watch thst or see it but I also think it's natural at 15 ?

Thanks @Sleepytimepleaseee I think this is kind of what I’m feeling- it’s disrespectful? And it seems asking for trouble allowing them to lie on the bed together!

And yes maybe limiting how long she is here would be a good thing, as it’s for long periods of the day at the moment! I don’t want to see it and I know teenagers will find a way, I suppose it’s that she is a bit younger and that I’m less than a week it seems to have moved on from a snog to dry humping!!

I don’t know if it’s just me having trouble mentally with this next phase and what is normal ground rules???

I personally would be providing condoms and having the baby, std chat...
If they want to do it, they will.
At yours or somewhere else

We have spoken to him about sex and he assures us that they are not there yet and he promises us they are not going to, and we have chatted about the importance of using protection in the past ( for reference we have a niece who got pregnant at around 16/17 and he has seen what a disaster that has ended up being)

but what he says and what he wants to do in the heat of the moment are very different things! As you say they will likely do it whatever we say if they are going to, but feel like would be encouraging it by providing condoms??! The girlfriend is only 14, mature but still only 14!

Bumping as would love some more opinions from those who have been though it!

He's hardly going to say "good news mum, we're going to bang next week!" is he 😂 so assume that they are planning to and if they don't then great. I'd probably make sure condoms were available in an opened box in the bathroom or something as otherwise he may not use them because it will be obvious he's opened them. But I wouldn't present them as a gift.