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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Intense friendship with DS13 and girl

3 replies

Pleasedontputthatthere · 04/03/2026 11:03

My DS(13) has ADHD and severe dyslexia. He has struggled with friendships generally but this has improved in the last year as he has started ADHD meds.

He has a friendship with a girl which is frankly batshit. She is 'going out' with another boy in the group but is playing them off against each other. They are on call whenever he's allowed to be on call, if they meet-up then she is calling him as soon as he leaves.

She seems to have a lot more freedom than DS so has suggested going into our city to hang out - hard no from us. DS respects this and sometimes I feel like he is glad to be rescued from situations.

He gets incredibly upset when he upsets her. She calls him very upset as her cousin recently died and I could hear it's a lot for DS to deal with, he was suggesting she speak to her parents.

What do I do here? Try and keep him busy and let it play out or put some firmer boundaries in place? I thought about asking him to reduce the amount of contact voluntarily and see how he does with that?

Anyone with sage advice please?

OP posts:
Pleasedontputthatthere · 04/03/2026 12:01

Anyone?

OP posts:
JazzyAmbs · 04/03/2026 23:08

Bumping for you. He’s infatuated and will probably get his heart broken unfortunately. You say he gets upset when he upsets her - but how does he upset her? I would make it more difficult for him to see her and await him to find someone else he takes a shine to.

HopSpringsEternal · 04/03/2026 23:15

I would aim to spend time with him, keep him busy, go and visit grandparents, aunties, family friends, go to sport events, comedy shows, walks, cinema, the beach gigs
Whatever, dont say why but get him out and about.
If he has other friends try and encourage that. Get ready for summer with things to do. Get him set up earning money. Car washing or working for a friend.
Basically busy and influenced by other things

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