how would you feel about relationships at boarding school?

[Cynthia32]

You can't keep an eye on 'em when they're there. So its all just about trusting your DC to do the right thing! I'm worried as I've heard a lot about teenage pregnancies etc at boarding schools. DD is going next term - think we should talk about things?

I think it's one of those 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas' things.

Yeah, I'd have a chat with her even if she weren't going to boarding school.

On the open day a few weeks ago a mother of a girl starting the same time as DD said she was putting her DD on the pill - which I thought was a bit extreme! Should I do that?

How old is your DD, Cynthia32?

My DD1 has boarded at prep school for a few years and moves to senior school at 13 this September. I am very aware that it will be a much more 'grown up' environment and I will be reinforcing advice already given over the holidays. I certainly won't be putting her on the pill!

I think it is a case of hoping and praying that all the guidance we have given so far sinks in so she acts responsibly.

Where is your DD going to school?

I had my first relationship while at boarding school! It was actually rather innocent (I fainted the first time he kissed me!) but I have to say most of the other in-school couples were a lot less so and most of them were sleeping with each other. (This was at 16ish.) I'm not sure the boarding bit makes that much difference though to be honest - if teenagers are determined to sleep together they'll find a way. Actually what would worry me more would be less sex and more dealing with break-up/relationship angst in potentially a very claustrophobic environment. So perhaps focus on dealing with flirtations/relationships in a small community more generally?

DD is 15. And I'm not particularly keen to say where she's going to school, on a public site.

As someone who has taught in a mixed boarding school, many years back when they were quite rare, be assured that staff are fully aware of the proximity of girls and boys. Sexual behaviour is not condoned- ok, it might well happen, but it will be frowned on.

Have you discussed your worries with the school and asked them to explain their pastoral care? and what their approach is to relationships?

However, it really is no different from being at any school- how many day pupils sneak home at lunchtimes for sex if their parents are at work? or i a field? or anywhere!

Sorry, Cynthia, didn't mean to pry.

Agree with gnd. I remember how easy it was to get to spend the night with my 19 year old boyfriend when I was 16. I expect that will be more difficult at boarding school.

The mother in me says that is a good thing but tbh I wouldn't change the way I spent my teenage years!

I think it is a bit extreme to put dd on the pill as you overheard one mother say.

If it's any comfort I went to boarding school at the same age and NONE of the girls got pregnant (admittedly this was over a decade or so ago!!)and that's not because they were all sleeping around!

If anything it's the r/ships outside boarding school, for example things got more interesting when visiting friends who were not boarders.. one is out in the big world again not confined to the residents of the school.. if teenagers want r/ships then as already mentioned they will find a way to minimise getting caught.

Might be worth having a chat with her as one might whether she boarded or not.

there isnt really a way anything serious can happen at a boarding school unless it is really crap school. most the girls at mine are fine, nothing serious, no pregnancies or anything. at my school its not easy to sneak guys in, noones tried it cause if they get caught its gonna mean them being kicked out of school. which isnt worth it. seriously nothing to worry about, she is 15 and should be responsible for what she does =]]
from DD xx