teenage boys

[45nanny]

Help! advice needed from other mums on whats going to happen to my son now he is a teenager. I have two girls and as a women i know what goes on with their bodies , but boys are a new thing to me. Have asked both my ex and my partner what happens and when , but they both were very vague, erm , get hair ,voice breaks. As my son has special needs i need to have an idea of what happens next so i can be a bit more prepared. Any good books on the subject or just good avice from other mums. Thanks

Things I find that nobody tells you about boys, is that they have mood swings too. I've found with mine, he gets a little aggressive when he grows and sometimes weepy too.

How old is your ds?
They're all of course different in what happens when. Some get hairy from age 10, others not till a few years later. My ds started getting spotty at 12, but it only lasted 6 months and as long as he uses clearasil wipes daily his face is mostly clear now.

The behaviour can get quite challenging!

My ds has a little bumfluffy moustache at 13, but is v. dark so yours may not for a while.

I'd recommend Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph, How to Be a Happy Teen and What's Happening to my Body? all of which are on ds's bookshelf and I think he's dipped into them from time to time.

I think this is actually a really lovely age. My ds and I have some really interesting discussions about all sorts of things and I love the way he and his mates are growing up into generally nice young men.

Is his dad still v. involved with your ds? I feel strongly that boys need their dads or another good male role model around to guide them through this time. Mums are there mainly as emotional shock absorbers/cash machines/taxi drivers

Yes, agree with Mumblechum, ds's teens have so far been my favourite parenting stage. I find the way he has his own properly formed opinions that don't always chime with mine, endlessly fascinating.

Thanks for your replies, My son will be 13 in april , but mentally only 3, so becoming a teenager is going to be difficult for me and him alike. He has very little speech ,so can't tell me what how he is feeling about what is happening to his body. He has started to get hair down below and his willy has grown ,he also has started to get some nasty looking spots on his face. I suppose if i think about it he has become a little more tearful of late, more sensitive and needing more hugs. He has a great dad , who he stays with every weekend(my respite) they enjoy doing boy things together . My partner is very good too , and he and my son have a great relastionship( we have lived together since my son was 6)I have learnt so much about teenagers with having two girls (18 and 16) but dont know much about boys.Will look at the books, some of the things apply to my son , even though he has SN. Thanks again.

Sorry to hear about your ds's problems. Our ds1 was severely brain damaged, but sadly never made it into his teens so I can't really advise from experience.

Have you talked to the school or any of his classmates' mums?

Sorry mumblechum to hear of your loss.
My lad goes to a special needs school and i very rarely see any other parent.The school had a couple of parent coffee mornings ,but it was staff lead and poorly attended. But your reply has given me an idea and prehaps i could write a note on the school news letter, as i cant believe i,m the only mum going through this .Its difficult when your sn child gets to be a teenager , so much is written about the new baby and the younger child , less about the growning one and the problems that we now face.

Sorry, my second post on reflection seems a little insensitive, didn't think, sorry.

No worries rantinghousewife(love your name,wished i had thought of it)
I didn't say in my first post the difficulties we experience, so you were not to know.
Silly really asking about teenagers ,when i have two older girls ,but whilst the their growning into women has been difficult at times it has also been very enjoyable . I was lying awake the other night thinking i only know about little boys and men , not the bit in the middle. My lad has started to get small mood swings ,but working out if it is because he is frustrated with life or because he is a teenager or because he is having a three year old moment. Certainly never a dull moment in out house.

45 nanny, another thing you could try is a thread in the special needs section of mumsnet.

Tried that ,no replies at all.Just coming on here has given started my brain working and have thought of other places to look . Thanks.

45nanny, I have a teenage DS. Not sure how much I can help you, if at all. I can recommend good old clearasil lotion (the blue liquid, not the wash) for spots. You just wipe it over the face with cotton wool, it's quick and easy and it works (for DS at least, I use it too at spotty times). They start to whiff at a certain stage too, so daily showering and becomes a must (probably same with girls - but you can help me with that one as DD not teenager yet!) Not sure if this is TMI but I know my DS isn't the only one who went through a phase of always having his hands down his trousers, IYKWIM, ie we needed to knock before entering his room... I mention it only because from talking to other Mums I know that is typical pubescent boy behaviour.

Thanks ladette, yes the hand down the trousers is already upon us , he has always played with his bits, mainly because they were just there, now i think its because its starting to feel good.We are trying to explain to him that its for his room only ,but its proving difficult as the only time he goes to his room is to sleep, so he is a lttle confused, we will keep trying though. Girls tend to want to keep them selves extra clean, spending hours in the bathroom , and washing and doing hair and dont get me started on the makeup, although my youngest dsd, isnt too keen on bathroom habits ,so its a constant battle ,but thats another thread. My dd used clearasil so will get some of that again . Thanks for the reply.