Please come talk to me about your conversations with your teen about Drugs.

[rantinghousewife]

Always had a policy of anything ds wants to ask about, he can, so he does.
We've had most of the convos you usually have as they grow up, the sex one, the smoking one, we've had a not hugely in depth one about drugs in the past when they discussed it in schooletc.
Anyway ds came in tonight and said that a friend at school had offered him a fag (not surprised) and that said friend does drugs. (That one was a bit earlier than I expected). So he wanted to know what all the various drugs do, why someone would take them etc. I gave him as much information as he wanted to know, as usual and although I'm fairly sure of myself as a parent, I wondered how everyone else handles the issue.
Would you brush the issue under the carpet, or would you discuss it with them.

i would talk talk talk about it!

there's a good website called talk to frank which is aimed at teens IIRC.

my ds 9 who is 10 in a couple of weeks asked what a stoner is. (Goddam the Fratellis )And was it to do with drugs? And why did people take drugs. And had i ever taken drugs...so we had a little chat.

Well see that's the thing, in my youth (not as young as 14), I did experiment with recreational drugs,(the usual weed) and I'm not so naive as to think that a bit of drug use will turn into a full time habit. But....
I really wouldn't like him to try it, I don't think cannabis is great for your mental health (I once lived with a stoner).
There was some stuff that he asked that I didn't know and I said that it might be an idea to look at the frank site, (he laughed and said he would but he didn't want to 'talk' to Frank, cheeky devil).
I know there's drugs in all schools, I'm just a bit taken aback that he knows someone who does them so young, it's thrown me a bit.

Have talked absolutely frankly to both mine from an early age about drugs, as they have the example of a heroin addict aunt to show them the full horror - she's lost her children, her home, her money, her teeth - to name but a few.

Have explained pretty fully what every drug does, how it affects people - how good they feel at first but how addictive and destructive they are.

Yes I told him all the drugs and effects that I know, I was a bit unsure about the Ectasy ones though, so I told him we'd look them up.
I was mightily relieved he felt he could discuss it with us tbh.

I talk openly with dd she's 15.
I have told her what Ive done (bit of weed) .
I have also told her of people she knows that have been adversely affected by drug use.
She tells me about other kids using drugs,but tbh she's quite a sensible kid so far and I believe her when she says she hasn't tried them.
I have warned her about pot being much stronger these days than in mine and how that can be dangerous for your mental health.

I think keeping communication going is so important.Helps them to use you as a sort of sounding board to come to their own conclusions about things.
I think they above all need the confidence to deal with these issues without succumbing to peer pressure and doing something they don't want to.

think you handled it really well. My parents raised us very broad minded and always would let us (most but not all) find out for ourselves what new things were BUT did explain all dangers involved in drugs andother issues you come along raising kids and were very big on explaining not to trust strangers or do something we wouldnt feel comfortable with.

I think our parents knew us all very well and trusted us (well as far as a parent can do this as I find this very hard!!)and because of this freedom we never ended in trouble. Yes tried the odd splif but thats it. lots of friends used XTC, cocaine and mushrooms ect but never felt I hAD TO.

Big believer that if you forbid something you want it more

Oh that's interesting Pickle, yes I do trust him, actually feel quite confident about that.

I'm a bit concerned about DS because he's up for anything, so have tod him that yes, I did dabble a bit but drugs are much stronger now, and eg people have died on their first ecstasy tab (Hannah Beckwith on her 18th birthday). Luckily he idolises David Beckham, who doesn't even smoke (but those tattooes!!) so I just stress to DS that if he wants to be fit for sport he can't do drugs, & he seems to accept that.

It's the frank 'sex talks' that I dread!

It's a tricky one. Well the thought of it is for me anyway.... I did lots of drugs when I was younger, inc coke, LSD, ecstasy etc
But whilst I had lots of fun the idea of my dd doing it is frankly terrifying. I don't want to lie, but don't want to tell the truth either!

I found the sex talks were a walk in the park, he's pretty much unembarrasible, luckily.

Bluejelly - tell her things have changed, they are much more addictive/damaging now than back in the olden days when you were young, without going into all the details of your experience .

God, I'm dreading my son asking me about drugs. I took shit loads in my youth, but really can't see myself having a cosy chat with him about my 'recreational' cocaine use in my early twenties (!). Argh. What would you do? Lie? Skirt around the facts? I've already denied ever doing anything more than smoking weed to a teenage cousin who asked me about drugs. I think it's good to be open and frank with young people, so that they know they can broach any subject with you, but there &is a line, isn't there? (no pun intended!). You can be open with your teens about sex - doesn't mean you have to tell them you enjoy giving blowjobs. Sorry to lower the tone...I'll get my coat!

LAG

Good plan Stepford Chav
Plan B is to encourage her to turn out like the daughter in Ab Fab. You know the type who really embarrased by her mum and her drug taking past...

If only... But that would make you Edina!
My dd (14.1) is counting the days 'til she is 16 & gets flat with her mate & goes to college. I don't think she's going to be a Saffy, somehow

Stepford chav - that's pretty much what I did (but in a watered down way)

I think many of us have done things we don't neccessarily want our children to emulate but talking in an honest, genuine way about why we don't do those things any more can only be helpful.

Avoiding talking about these things only leads to bigger trouble imho.

The difficult bit is admitting that you know what drugs are all about,(cool Mum, swagger emoticon)but it's when you get into 'Don't do as I do, do as I say' territory that we're on a sticky wicket. That's why we have to say how much more dangerous they are now [wink}.

My two dch are also of the opinion that junkies are losers, which is good. (Not from a caring, love-thy-neighbour pov, of course, but from a don't-want-to-copy pov) They are both solely interested in earning loadsamoney when they leave school, and anything likely to compromise that doesn't appeal. (Sadly this attitude does not extend to putting lots of effort into school work!)

Well apparently he used our discussion as a basis for a debate in his debating team at school today! So I suppose I have been educationally useful after all

Just so long as you don't supply them with 'samples' from out of your handbag. For their education .

DH, as a teenager, had an American gf whose parents were cool & laid back & smoked dope in front of him. (Shudder) Do you think this would work, based on the principle that anything I do/say is deeply uncool, ("That coat won't keep you warm" etc.)so would put them off for life??

Lol at samples. Not bloody likely though, I am such a cheap date now that two shandies and I'm a legs akimbo on the dance floor, thinking I'm shaking my booty like Aleesha. Alas, it's more like Worzel Gummidge attempting the time warp on E.
Yes, my days of samples in my handbag are long, long gone.

Mine too... The last time I had a 'sample' in handbag I ended up surreptitiously putting it in a bin at Norwich bus station after becoming convinced the filth were onto me - paranoid, moi?

Yep, small bottle of brandy at Crimbo is the extent of my naughtiness these days. ROFL at the Alesha mental pic. I do wonder, if I was a sleb, how long I'd last on that programme, oh the indignity of thinking one is a swan-necked Pavlova (that's Anna, not the dessert)yet being voted off first week - that'd be me