Checking preteens/teens phone

[Eruss]

Do you check your preteens/teens phone and if so at what age did you stop?

I have a preteen in year 7, when given the phone at the start of year 7 the rules were I get to check it every now and again but the last few weeks they have been a bit grumpy about this.

@imvegetarianagreed but there is a difference between being shown things on other phones and having access to it on your own. I am that difference. This is my job as a parent. I have the awkward conversations, I check, I regulate and we have a good and open communication but I still have to set limits because my 14 year old thinks he’s 25 and also has a younger sibling so I have a responsibility there too.
He briefly had Snapchat and aside from the map issue, I was shocked at the volumes of messages. He does not need this in his life.
You also seem very sensible but in the past year I have had direct examples in my community of Snapchat being used to target minors with drug dealing, stolen goods, and the worst was a young lady being conned into providing her bank account to rinse money. She’s now an adult and can’t get a bank account as she’s blacklisted.
So yes, all “part of life” but they don’t need all of this in their face or plan of their hand all the time.

@NosyJosie yes i agree with that however i still feel if you just talk to your child and educate about how wrong it is to do those things and keep making sure they’re okay then there is. i thing to worry about. i’ve had snapchat since i was in year 7 and i have never been forced into doing anything at all over social media, however at school and in social situations i have a lot. i’ve been sent things on snapchat that i haven’t liked as i’ve got older but you can easily block people like that and i understand if you may not want your child seeing those things. However the main thing is keeping in touch with friends, i speak to around 30 people daily, all my friends, and it keeps me in touch with everyone and allows me to still feel like i’m socialising even though we can’t leave our houses right now because of corona. but i would be lost without snapchat because i wouldn’t talk to my friends otherwise and i feel it’s so important for young people to speak to their friends because ,i know from experience, it’s easier to speak to friends than parents sometimes. Also i do wish that we were born in an age where technology didn’t exist and kids went to play outside because i get so consumed in social media and watching other people’s lives and wishing i looked like them, but also social media has taught me many things and for that i am grateful.

I'm sure many of us are of the first generation who actively had phones at college/teenage years so we know what teenages message about. Most of the time is random gossip and chit chat but obvs with social media we have to be more aware. Naivity is a big thing and its surprising how many kids think they can trust everyone only but don't even say hello to their neighbour!