Tips for surviving the teenage years

[uhoh2020]

Ds is just turned 13. He has been an absolute delight growing up loving caring respectful. I'm not saying hes bad now far from it, however hormones are kicking in, some moodiness, arguing back, a bit of back chat and general teenage "I know better" attitude.
What's your best advice to get me through it ? Bear in mind I have 2 younger ds so the teenage years are going to last around a decade for me 🙈

Understand "it isn't him, its his hormones"

Don't try and argue back

Try to praise / say something positive AT LEAST as many times as you said 'nag'

Insist on mealtimes altogether

Talk about all sorts of situations in a "3rd party" way...... eg "My colleague was telling me today that her son x/y/z....... I don't know what I'd have done if that had been me" { leaves it open for discussion round the dinner table } so they get to think about situations before they might find themselves in them - be that missing the train / bus they were going to get when you let them have more independence or be that when they get offered drugs at a party.

Keep a common interest you can talk about with them - be that following their favourite football team, or taking them to rugby and watching them play, or get some knowledge of whatever they are playing on whatever they use to game

Ask them about stuff when they aren't facing you / when they don't have to look at you - so when you are in the car is great for this

Welcome their friends into the house. Feed everyone. Let your house be the place they feel comfortable.

They want to talk to you at the most awkward of times - try and make yourself available if you can, they might not come back again if it isn't convenient for you then.

Lots of patience. Mine DS now 15 but attitude started around 14 .... they really do change overnight. Try to praise as well as chastise. Im looking at it as a circle....we are quarter of the way with the teen years just hopefully we come full circle

I had alot of cheek and attitude today. Has wound me up. I cant take wifi off as I need it to wfh and for DS do school work and to amuse him whilst I am working. I am going to try the totally ignore and blank him way tom. Will obv feed him. It has worked before.