13yo DD oafish, lumpy and inconsiderate in an unpleasant way

[disneyspendingmoney]

Im angry ATM, so I may say innaorooriate stuff

DD us an oafish, lumpy inconsiderate and doesn't listen.

She's broken the the sofa by lumping down in to it, same with her bed.

Crashes into things, breaks things and then dies this smug smirky grin as an apology.

It's driving me nuts and I would really like to take my frustration out on her.

I did a parenting class that was all about modeling good behaviour. Hasn't worked and I feel that's she's just taking advantage.

How the hell do I get her to be a little but more considered of her surroundings and not be so oafish.

What does "lumpy inconsiderate" mean?
Are you complaining because your daughter is fat and it results in breaking things? I'm so confused.

Well if you have to keep replacing stuff there won't be enough cash for her 'wants' then will there?
Spell it out to her. At her age she should be able to grasp that!

If you'd said your 23 year old DD was like this I could understand some of the comments but at 13 she could easily become a lovely swan.

Perhaps she senses your blatant disgust? That's not an insult, it's a genuine question

All 13 year olds are clumsy because they're growing, I was the clumsiest teenager ever and found it painfully embarrassing. If my parents were angry about it on top I would've been so upset.

Does she lack coordination in general, so that it's harder for her to control her movements, or is she just careless or trying to get a reaction out of you? Has this been going on for a while or is it to do with puberty?

I would need to understand more about the situation to know how I would respond as a parent.

So she's heavy, clumsy and un-ladylike?

You say you want her to be less oafish, OP, but it's hard to tell from your post whether you're just asking for help in getting her to understand the impact of her carelessness on others, or whether you want help in changing the way she presents herself generally.

The former might be something that people have advice on, but the latter seems like it's more about who your DD is vs who you hoped she would be.

I do get it, by the way, as I have teens with SEN who are nothing like I expected my DC to be. But the main issue with that (apart from the challenge of making them understand things and dealing with the SEN) was letting go of my own expectations of how they'd turn out.

I’d tell her that every time she breaks something that you’ve paid for, you’ll be removing something of hers! If she can’t be respectful that why should she have the luxuries that you spend your money?

It's the carelessness, she's not overweight and there no fat shaming involved it's the way she crashes down onto things. It's like a mixing Kevin and Perry and Titus Andronicus. It's the flouncing, drama queen aspect.

Fir example what prompted my MN outburst was she dropped arse Frist into the sofa knocking over a table, laptop, and other stuff. And then drama queened more when asked to pick it up.

I know she likes RuPaul but she seems to have taken the worst parts if it and I can't get it through.
It's the carelessbess and inconsiderate behaviour and talking reasonably about it goes nowhere.