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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

The nicer teenage moments

14 replies

doesthisyogatastefunnytoyou · 16/05/2019 10:34

DS14 is a good kid, we chat and laugh and he is pretty much not much bother, but can be a bit thoughtless, self absorbed at times, as can most.

He's also understandably not the same affectionate, cuddly kid he once was, though I do get a hug at bedtime and "love you" every day.

But it made my night last night when he came home from football and gave me a random hug from behind as I washed the dishes. I said "Thanks, what that's in aid of?" to which he shrugged and said "being a good mum?".

So I just thought for those of us whose teenagers aren't so demonstrative with the affection at the moment, it might be nice to share the more heartwarming moments!

What's been yours recently?

OP posts:

Cottonwoolmouth · 16/05/2019 10:36

When they take you out for a meal and they actually pay

But then you realise your an old gimmer..

Original poster

doesthisyogatastefunnytoyou · 16/05/2019 10:37

Oh, I'm a loooong way from that scenario I think

OP posts:

Sunshineandflipflops · 16/05/2019 10:44

This post is just what I need this morning as I sit at work very tearful.

My 13 year old texted me last night from upstairs to tell me she is non-binary and has felt this way for 2 years but was scared to tell me in case I was angry or disappointed. I already knew she is gay and am fully supportive of her so to feel she couldn't talk to me about this broke my heart.

I went upstairs to talk to her properly about it and the relief of me knowing was massive for her. She hugged me tight and sobbed and I've not seen much emotion from her for so long.

My kids dad and I separated 17 months ago when I found out he was having an affair so although I am pleased I was there when she told us (she also texted her dad at the same time), I had to deal with it on my own and am now at work on my own with no-one to talk it over with.

So I guess my heartwarming moment was being able to help my child offload a huge weight off her mind and her feeling able to talk to me.

Original poster

doesthisyogatastefunnytoyou · 16/05/2019 11:09

@Sunshineandflipflops I'm sure her not telling you straight away is no reflection of how she feels about your relationship. Possibly she just felt you had enough on your plate with the split and could see you weren't up to any more "major" revelations at that time. That's understandable, in my eyes.

But she's told you now. Some people go through the majority of adulthood without telling their parents the truth of these kind of things.

You have obviously done something right early on!

OP posts:

Sunshineandflipflops · 16/05/2019 11:31

doesthisyoga Thank you. I have kept a lot about our separation from the kids as I don't think they need to know at this age why we split and I try my best to be as amicable with their dad as i can be because I believe that is the best thing for them. They don't see me struggle, I am fortunate to have a brilliant support system so that they can be kids and not take on any of my stress.

I think because my job involves LGBT advocacy and training, I expected to be a 'natural' if this ever happened to me or my family but giving advice to others and doing it yourself are two different things!

ChristmasFluff · 16/05/2019 16:39

This doesn't compare with the emotion and gravity of the previous post, but I was contemplating the other day how I used to do DS 's bedtime routine, and how it gradually became just a story and a song and a 'night night; ' God Bless' etc. Then just the 'night night' mantra and tucking him in.

Then at some point he began going to bed later than me (I am a very early riser), and so now HE 'tucks in' ME with the same little routine, chat etc.

I remember a thread recently where people were berating the OP for still tucking in their teen daughter. So maybe they'll never experience this lovely little ritual and connect. Or maybe when they are very elderly. I'm glad I'm getting it now.

Pipandmum · 16/05/2019 16:43

My teens are generally lovely. Still happy to give and receive cuddles. My son has a temper but is also quick to apologise. My daughter can be moody (she’s always been that way) but still says she wants to live with me forever (ha!). It has not been the nightmare I feared.

notacooldad · 16/05/2019 16:48

A few weeks ago my Ds gave me a lift to my friends house.
She has a steep drive and then steps to her porch. Ds got out of the car, took the bag of beer from me, linked arms to get me to the door. He then gave me a peck on the cheek and said give him a ring later if I needed s lift home.
I know I'm in my 50s now but can I point out I do HITT twice a week and weight lift fou times a week. Last Sunday Iwalked up Helvelyn and the weekend before up Bkencathra. I mountain bike a lot as well as take part in outdoor swimming
I am not falling apart yet!

Theimpossiblegirl · 16/05/2019 17:01

Any chance of this being moved to the teenagers board we're trying to preserve? Lovely idea for a thread.

Dd1 got up really early on Monday and drove to Starbucks to get her sister a nice frappe on the first day of GCSEs. They are finally getting on well after a few argumentative years.

Original poster

doesthisyogatastefunnytoyou · 16/05/2019 17:13

@ChristmasFluff

I do get tucked in occasionally also! We go to bed about the same time, but he takes so flamin' long in the bathroom that I often go first and then he has to come in to me instead

I forgot about the other day too. He often ranks his friends parents by who is his favourite at any one time, and the other day he did say if it was to include me and his dad, I'd be first, which was a relief! Said in front of a mate too Though he's not shy to say his "love yous" in front of friends either.

@Theimpossiblegirl oh, that is lovely! If I could change one thing about DS, it would be that he showed more of an interest in his big (half) sister and his baby (half) sister. Him and the older one used to be close despite the distance, but now he acts like he wouldn't care if he never saw her again Which I know isn't true, but still.

How do I get this moved?

OP posts:

Sunshineandflipflops · 16/05/2019 17:20

My kids still like to be tucked in too at 11 and 13 and while trey like it, I will happily do it. Time passes so quickly so I cherish these little moments of warmth 😊

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 16/05/2019 18:03

Going back a bit but when my son was 15 going out with about 7/8 of his friends he shouted all the way up the street ..mum...mum..I was sat in my front garden at the time trying to hide so he could be cool ..I popped my head up and said what is it? He yelled right out just wanted to let you know I love you...still to this day he does the same he is 28 now and my heart melts every time!Daft I know but its nice to hear and I know he genuinely means it!

Theimpossiblegirl · 16/05/2019 19:07

Thanks for moving the thread MNHQ

mcmen71 · 16/05/2019 21:49

I was doing a bit of tidying in my dd2 bedroom and found a lovely little note she wrote about my mum who died last year it brought a tear to my eye.
She said I really miss you granny. I wish i could tell you I love you she came back from dance came in saw her nice tidy bedroom and gave me a hug and a thanks. And im off again tears streaming. I told her granny knows you loved her and that was a lovely note. She said i just miss her and write her notes in bed.

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