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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Teenage son and a box of condoms!

24 replies

Hooplah · 30/03/2018 13:31

When tidying up my 15 year old DS's pit of a bedroom this week, I came across a half empty box of condoms. This morning I have found a bottle of massage gel. As far as I'm aware, he is not seeing anyone and I'm fairly sure this is a bit of a 'discovery' adventure! I'm not prudish and I totally understand but I would really like him to talk to me about it. I've not told him that I've found these things although, to be honest, he hasn't 'hidden' them very well! How can I broach the subject without him being totally mortified, or shall I just stay quiet which is my husband's approach? What have other mums done in this situation?

OP posts:

Wingbing · 30/03/2018 13:31

Stay quiet

Twodogsandahooch · 30/03/2018 13:32

Oh goodness please don’t approach him. No need to whatsoever.

Bobbiepin · 30/03/2018 13:36

Is it possible that he's left them so poorly hidden because he wants you to broach the subject?

Otherwise, be glad he's using condoms! Maybe a little "I found your box and want you to know I'm pleased you're being safe although I think you should be waiting until the girl is at least 16. But I want you to know that you can ask me anything if you want to".

Or he could be having a posh wank and be thankful he isn't wiping it on his socks like most 15 year olds do

YourHandInMyHand · 30/03/2018 13:37

Good god, please do not approach him. He hasn't decided to approach you and talk about masturbation, follow his lead and give the poor lad some privacy! I have a teenage son and he'd rather die than talk to me about that sort of thing, despite us having an otherwise very close and open to talk about anything relationship. And I'm happy with that, let there be some boundaries.

joystir59 · 30/03/2018 13:42

Leave him alone. He's heading toward adulthood and his private sex life is not your concern

FrangipaniBlue · 30/03/2018 13:47

I'm pleased you're being safe although I think you should be waiting until the girl is at least 16

Eh?! Bit sexist (and presumptuous!) when OPs son isn't 16 yet either

Say nowt OP.

HollowTalk · 30/03/2018 13:47

I think we can assure you that the LAST THING he wants is for you to discuss this with him!

Original poster

Hooplah · 30/03/2018 13:55

Lol, message received and understood!

I was kind of thinking no discussion is the right approach but, if he's having a relationship, HE is underage, and this is mainly the message I wanted to stress...plus, I hate it when my husband's right!!

OP posts:

AnotherOriginalUsername · 31/03/2018 08:43

The only thing I'd be concerned about is whether the massage gel is oil based and he's using it as a lubricant...

Jaxtellerswife · 31/03/2018 12:25

I'd be concerned if any underage child was potentially having sex. Unusual answers here

AdoraBell · 31/03/2018 12:28

Agree, don’t approach him about this. If he approaches you then just be a open as you can. Does he talk to you, or his dad, about sex?

I have 2 teen DDs who will talk quite openly, but only they initiate the conversation.

AdoraBell · 31/03/2018 12:30

Oops, that should be only if they initiate the conversation.

scrabbler3 · 31/03/2018 12:34

If you're 100% sure he's not having sex, then stay quiet. If there's a possibility that he has a girlfriend or boyfriend, or is having casual sex with someone, then it'd be advisable for your or DH to have a chat about consent/safety/the law I think.

Northernparent68 · 01/04/2018 23:54

Stop shopping in his room.

RedPandaMama · 01/04/2018 23:57

Subtly hint you're there for him if he 'needs any advice' but don't ask him about the condoms, he'll be mortified! Just be glad he's being safe, if he is even having sex. When I was sixteen we got condoms quite literally thrown at us in college. I had a drawer full. Wasnt having sex at the time, but good to know I had them if I needed. Also opened a few, messed with them a bit so they were less daunting when it came to the actual act.

DorynownotFloundering · 01/04/2018 23:58

He's masturbating not having sex, by the sounds of it, leave him to get on with it & as pp have said just be thankful for no crusty sheets

Springtrolls · 02/04/2018 00:09

Why are you still tidying his room?

lattewith3shotsplease · 02/04/2018 00:20

Teenage boys are a bit crap at hiding stuff.

My DS15 left a "magazine" in the dirty wash basket.

Look on the bright side, at least he knows what a condom is and how to wear one.

GrooovyLass · 02/04/2018 00:21

Reported this - there are a suspicious amount of posts about teenage boys and condoms this weekend...

Oddcat · 02/04/2018 00:24

Don't t ask him about them - poor lad would be mortified!

Petitepamplemousse · 02/04/2018 00:27

Oh FGS of course stay quiet, leave the poor lad alone.

PickAChew · 02/04/2018 00:27

Be glad he's using condoms and impress on him the need to be super clean and idy do you don't feel compelled to look.

Idontmeanto · 02/04/2018 11:06

He needs to keep his own room clean and tidy then you won’t find these things. I think you should say something, check he’s being safe, aware of consent, that if a pregnancy did occur he has no say in how the young lady proceeds, the poster that mentioned the posssbility of oil in the massage solution is talking sense.

Squeegle · 02/04/2018 11:14

Maybe it’s something your husband should chat with him about. Not necessarily the condoms but just sex in general and about respect for girls etc. In the right context a cringey but necessary talk

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