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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Scared to walk to school - 16yr old

26 replies

amberleo · 12/11/2017 14:33

Please help! I've been feeling scared to walk to school by myself because this boy will always be waiting for me at the end of my road and will often say inappropriate things to me. I've told my mother and she insists on walking with me however I think that'll only show him I'm weak and affected by his words. I don't particularly want to change my route to school as it's quick and usually safe. Please give me ideas of what to do!
I am 16 years old and in Year 11. I think he's younger than me but is very intimidating.
Thank you!

OP posts:
BigSandyBalls2015 · 12/11/2017 14:44

How horrible, you absolutely shouldn't have to put up with this. Is he at your school? If so maybe speak to your head of year?

Original poster
amberleo · 12/11/2017 14:47

He doesn't go to my school. I go to an all girls catholic secondary school. He wears a black coat so it's hard to see what school he goes to but I'm positive he goes to the boys secondary school up the road from my school.

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Miniwerewolfhugs · 12/11/2017 14:49

Is this boy at your school? If so your school should deal with it as a case of bullying.

EvilTwins · 12/11/2017 14:51

Can you ask a friend to call for you? Or leave earlier than normal?

Original poster
amberleo · 12/11/2017 14:56

I have done for a few days but often my friends will be late to school or take different journeys. I live quite close to the school whereas my friends all take bus/car so I feel that I'm putting them out of their way. I leave fairly early as it is. The student gates of my school open at 7:55am and I do leave for school at 8am as Year 11's have a GSCE study session in the morning. :)

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BossWitch · 12/11/2017 15:02

Honestly? How big is he / strong are you? If youre not tiny and he's not big, then i would go for shock and awe. He is relying on the fact that youre a girl and you wont fight back. So. Walk straight up to him and, without hesitation, punch him really, really hard in the face. You have to aim for about a foot behind his head, so that you don't pull your punch accidently. Essentially try to punch through his head to the other side. Do it once, as hard as you can. Then walk away. Optional 'stay the fuck away from me' as you leave.

Others will flame me for this, but I bet it'll work.

W0rriedMum · 12/11/2017 15:06

I know this will be scary but I think you and your mum need to call 101 and log a complaint. The police will advise on next steps but it is totally unacceptable for a young man to be threatening or abusing someone every day.

These people are usually utter cowards. An off the record chat by a squad car will probably take care of this.

Please don't accept this as normal as it isn't . Best of luck .

Original poster
amberleo · 12/11/2017 15:15

My mother suggested this to me but I am unsure because I just want this issue to go away and not be a big deal. Of course it is a big deal as his words are ill-suited but I'd rather not involve the police. I am scared also as he may also have a weapon. Boys in my area will often carry knives/pocket knives as a way to show that they are 'hard'. I worry that if I ever did tell him to '''Fuck off'' that he'd turn around and hurt me in some way. For my age I'm fairly short - 5'3 and I'd say he's roughly the same but he's quite heavy whereas I'm small and would probably put up a better fight than me.

OP posts:
BossWitch · 12/11/2017 16:57

Hmm. Then police.

Seeline · 12/11/2017 17:06

Take a photo and send it to the school you think he goes to explaining the situation. All the boys schools I know would take such behaviour very seriously.

RaininSummer · 12/11/2017 17:08

Dont take the advice about punching him as you could end up charged with assault. Mention it to your head of form/year. If feeling brave tell him to stop it or you will report him for stalking and verbal intimidation. Actually do call police from home on the non emergency number and tell them what us happening. They may even do a drive by one morning to check it out whixh hopefully will scare him off.

Also, not wanting to make you paranoid, dont give out info on your schedule on social media etc. Do you have any nice big male friends who could walk with you for a while. I bet if you told them the problem they would try.

Landed · 12/11/2017 17:14

Def tell your mum your worries, show her this, get your own school involved they could contact local schools and call 101 this evening.

Original poster
amberleo · 12/11/2017 17:26

With much persuasion from mum, we called 101. And tomorrow my boyfriend is going to walk me to school. Hopefully, this will go away and thanks for the suggestions. Wish me luck!

OP posts:
whatsleep · 12/11/2017 17:28

Call the police who will be able to look into this properly. You should certainly not have to put up with being harassed every day

sooperdooper · 12/11/2017 17:32

I like the idea if taking his photo!
When you do it say, 'leave me alone, I'm going to report you for harassment' and keep walking away.

Then tell your school & contact the school you think he goes to as well, he shouldn't be allowed to intimidate people on the street!

MarmaladeIsMyJam · 12/11/2017 17:36

BossWitch What stupid advice. What if he pulls a knife on her? Or batters her senseless? FFS Hmm

oldbirdy · 12/11/2017 17:36

I would have your Mum not walk you to school obviously, but be an ordinary citizen off to the shops (bag in hand) who happens to see the boy hassling you, and intervenes. She could threaten to call his school etc. No need to say 'this is my mum'. Have her walk 15 metres behind you ....

deplorabelle · 12/11/2017 17:41

Also tell your school of your concerns. They need to know if their pupils are being intimidated. It may be happening to others in your school and they will be able to coordinate a school response if for example it's people in your school uniform being targeted.

CauliflowerSqueeze · 12/11/2017 17:43

You need to identify him. It’s fine your boyfriend walking to school with you but he can’t do that all the time.

Either get a photo of him or ask your mum to drive you to the boys school and say you want to identify him from their photos.

These kind of pathetic little dickheads just need a strong word and they stop. Take a look at his bag as well. It’s an absolute disgrace he thinks he can intimidate you like this.

I would leave ten minutes earlier and get a photo of him from where he can’t see you.

CauliflowerSqueeze · 12/11/2017 17:46

And when I was head of year I liaised with other Heads of year from other schools. Tell yours.

magpiemischief · 12/11/2017 17:49

Could you cycle to school?

Original poster
amberleo · 12/11/2017 17:50

My mum and I are reading through these and she totally agrees with the idea of intervening as a regular citizen. My mum is going to go to the school one day after work and report his sexual comments to the school - hopefully, that'll work. Not sure if my school could do much to help the problem as they often lack interest in things that don't directly concern them but we'll try and tackle them at a later date. I'd hate to find out if he was doing this to younger girls in my school as well - if I'm struggling at my age of 16 surely others younger than me would be worse off. I'm going to try and avoid direct contact with him as I don't want to give him the attention at all. It's so strange as well as I have no idea who this boy is that has taken a sudden interest in me but I hope it stops after today.

OP posts:
Yogagirl123 · 12/11/2017 17:54

It’s a police matter.

HangingRock · 12/11/2017 18:43

Assume your mum doesn't drive so can't give you a lift? Just a bit concerned your boyfriend might be vulnerable too if the boys in your area carry knives.

Original poster
amberleo · 16/11/2017 19:05

Just thought I'd update you all!
The boy hasn't been there for this week which is amazing and I now feel much safer walking to school. Thank you for all your kind words :)

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