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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Would you tell the parents?

28 replies

Marianos · 19/09/2016 22:58

If you thought that some teenagers were drinking alcohol/ taking drugs and you vaguely knew their parents - would you say anything or would you assume they knew?

OP posts:
NetballHoop · 19/09/2016 23:04

It would really friend on how old they were. 13 -15 I would. Older than that I probably wouldn't for someone I didn't know well.

ProfessorPickles · 19/09/2016 23:05

I'd probably just leave them to it, I'm not sure that'll be popular advice or not Grin

When I was at school we were all up to allsorts, but it was harmless experimentation type things such as drinking cheap booze in the park etc.

If you're genuinely concerned I'd consider having a word, but if it's 'harmless' teenage behaviour I'd not say anything.

NetballHoop · 19/09/2016 23:06

Wow that came out badly.

"It would really depend" was what I meant to type.

Original poster
Marianos · 19/09/2016 23:06

Younger teenagers - 14-15 y/o.

OP posts:
ApocalypseSlough · 19/09/2016 23:07

Very much depends on the age. 16/17 and seen in the park buying beer, no. Evidence of illegal drugs, probably yes.
What's the age and potion?

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 19/09/2016 23:07

Alcohol prob not
Drugs def yes

ApocalypseSlough · 19/09/2016 23:07

14 probably anything. Drink or drugs?

Optimist3 · 19/09/2016 23:08

You think or you know for sure? How?

ApocalypseSlough · 19/09/2016 23:09

ie I would tell over anything for a 14 year old. But IME many parents are ok with drinking at that age Hmm

Original poster
Marianos · 19/09/2016 23:21

I haven't witnessed it directly - just heresay plus things I've seen on social media but I'm also curious as a parent of teenagers myself about what other parents might/ might not say to me.

OP posts:
steppemum · 20/09/2016 11:03

hmm, ds is nearly 14. I would want to know, and I think I would tell his friend's parents.
(but some of them may be ok with it)

Owllady · 20/09/2016 11:09

I would like to know, so I'd say yes
My son is nearly 15 and I'm not particularly strict but I'm shocked how free range some of his friends are (like staying at home for a couple of weeks whilst mum and dad go away etc)

AdaLovelacesCat · 20/09/2016 11:11

Do you know what if I went to every parent of those who are drinking and taking drugs, it would take me all day and my name would be mud.
Get real.

NerrSnerr · 20/09/2016 11:14

If you haven't seen it with your own eyes I wouldn't.

Willywolly · 20/09/2016 11:14

I haven't witnessed it directly - just heresay plus things I've seen on social media

No way then.

MrsJayy · 20/09/2016 11:16

A few years back i took a drunk girl home i vaguely knew in Dds year she was sitting on the pavement pissed her friends had left her. The mother said oh i knew she was out she isnt due in till 10.30 (it was 8) and she shut the door in my face so no i wouldnt be telling parents their 15yr old was drinking or taking drugs.

catinbooots · 20/09/2016 11:22

Are these friends of your DC? If so, you know your DC are probably doing the same right?
And no - definitely don't tell the parents as you are only working on hearsay!!!

LetitiaCropleysCookbook · 20/09/2016 11:23

Most parents of teenagers are constantly on the alert for signs that their offspring are drinking/doing drugs! I think it would be unusual for a parent to be entirely oblivious. Either way, I don't think telling them will go down well. Those that are worried about it anyway, will see your involvement as an implied criticism that they are not on the case. The minority who aren't bothered will see you as an interfering busybody, I'm afraid.

Owllady · 20/09/2016 11:33

Bloody hell mrsjay Shock
Some people shouldn't have children.

I have never got angry with anyone who has come to my house about my children. What is the point in becoming angry? Surely children need to learn their are consequences to their actions?

MrsJayy · 20/09/2016 11:42

I wondered if mum was embaressed owllady and just wanted the girl in the house i never got the chance to explain about sitting herself but she was so rude about it. I saw her about at parents nights and whatnot she always said hello but never mentioned it again .

MrsJayy · 20/09/2016 11:45

I dont regret taking the kid home and im just glad i knew where she lived she was very drunk

Owllady · 20/09/2016 13:27

Some people are funny aren't they? :o
I'm obviously not very proud as I can't imagine behaving like that!

yeOldeTrout · 20/09/2016 20:23

I was a druggie teenager so I probably have a skewed idea what teens can handle. If I only vaguely knew the parents and I was worried for the kids, I might tell the police or school to keep an eye out.

MunchCrunch01 · 20/09/2016 20:29

Hmm if it's hearsay and a friend,
I'd mention what I'd heard, but agree, hearsay and parents I don't know, I'd mind my own business.

Mycraneisfixed · 20/09/2016 20:43

I'd keep out of it.