Unsocialble teen

[Azulita77]

Hi ladies.

My son is almost 19 years old and has never been very sociable. He has his moments but in general spends all his time in his room on his Playstation and Ipad. He is studying at University and so lives away and comes home every other weekend but even at Uni he spends a lot of time in his room. I'm glad that he isn't out drinking every night but I do worry about his lack of socialisation. When he is home in the holidays he doesn't see any friends, no one comes to visit him and he doesn't go out. He will go out for a meal with me or to the local pub but other than that he spends the whole time in his room. He doesn't seem unhappy at all, he just has no interest in socialising and yet he tells me he wants a girlfriend! Although I am happy that he wants to spend time with me, part of me is worried that he has no interest in seeing anyone else as when I was his age I didn't want to be with my Mum! He was Head Boy at school and is Course Rep at University so in that way he is confident however in other situations he is shy and would quite literally spend the whole summer in his room if I let him. Advice please ladies .... tia

It does sound worrying. Does he have social anxiety do you think? People with social anxiety will sometimes convince themselves and others that they don't want to socialise just to avoid it. How about encouraging him to get a job in the holidays or do some volunteering to get him out of the house. Tell him it would be good for his CV.

I've a son like this. He's in uni and though he spends most of the time in his room I know he is communicating online. I worried about the situation but like you said he's not out drinking etc. I think kids do things differently these days. Staying in when I was young was a sin! Is your son very private about what friends he has at uni? Everything I find out about mine is by acccident. If he wants a girlfriend in sure he will have one. Some kids are slower maturing tham others and also uni is demanding. I think we just have to trust they'll be fine.

Hiya. No, he's not private about the friends he has and although he spends lots of time in his room he does venture into the common room for a chat with friends. He even went out to play basketball yesterday he said. I think you are right, we will just have to leave them to make their own decisions and just be there for them.