DD 14 wants to be homeschooled

[Mumofworrieddaughter]

DD 14 is so worried about school that she keeps asking to be homeschooled. She seems to be worried her grades in English aren't good enough because she only gets 5+ or 6- when they think she should be getting 7 by end of this school year (year 9). Both her dad and I work from home so she thinks it would be easy for us to homeschool her, (but we are working!) She says she's unhappy at school for lots of reasons but can't or won't explain further. Hating having to send her out the door to school each morning so unhappy. The school has a really good reputation so not sure if their expectations are too high or if DD is struggling to keep up. So far all her reports have been good, and parents evenings full of praise. However something's making her very unhappy at the moment and I'm at a loss to work out how to help.

I think the first step would be to make an appointment to see the Head of Year at school and find out why she is worrying about the grades at this stage.

I agree with Sparklingbrook. Make an appointment to meet with her Form Tutor and Head of Year together and tell them your concerns. It might be that she's genuinely worried about the grades, in which case the school can work to reassure her/support her further where needed. It might be that there's a different (social, health, emotional) reason which might come to light down the line. If homeschooling isn't an option, I would let her know that now rather than let her keep repeating the wish, but temper that by explaining that you will work with her school to make sure she is on track and happy at school. Ask her whether she would like to attend the meeting with the school with you - she might feel better/more supported if she is involved in the conversations, if she wants to be.

Best of luck.

Hi
I have gone through this exact same issue with my DD 15. She wanted to be homeschooled because she thought it would be easier than coping with the pressure of getting the grades the teachers expect, I find they push the kids harder all the time. Yes definitely go and see the head of year and her form tutor and they should be able to help support her more. Also explain to your DD that being homeschooled has a lot of disadvantages, not mixing with others her age, taking exams is not so easy to organise and without them she will struggle getting in to college/uni or work. There may be a simple explanation as to why she wants to be at home. I hope so, Do speak to school. Good Luck

Having a DD who has struggled with perfectionism/anxiety around schoolwork, I would say you need to speak to the school and get the support. Help her organise her work so she doesn't feel bogged down and give her praise for other stuff not related to her work. I think as parents we are all eager for our children to reach their full potential, but their happiness is more important than grades at the end of the day.
I assume by the numbers you mention, she is talking about the new GCSE style grades or is she talking about KS3? The highest you can get for KS3 is '8' by end of year 9 and not many achieve that. DD will get 7s in some subjects, but not all I am sure. It all changes for GCSE anyway.