Help - my ds wants to spend time with me - what should I do?

[onlyoranges]

I have had shocks over the years from my dcs but this weekend was a rather large one! My ds came up to me and said shall we go out somewhere this weekend? My first response was to look over my shoulder to see who else had just walked into the room but no he was asking me! I did a few erms (from me) he said well you decide and walked off! Now we have not done anything together for around 3/4 years so I was a little shocked. As I didn't have time to think of anything better we went out for lunch and had a rather good time. Now he has asked if we can do something next weekend (I am to choose). Anyone got any ideas what do you do with your teenage ds. He is 16. I thought the cinema then wondered what other people were doing. Him wanting to speak to me let alone spend time with me is a new thing for me and I could do with some ideas from those who actually do things with their teenagers. I am actually rather thrilled and want to encourage this to continue hence to request for help!!

Cinema, lunch and a bit of shopping? I do this with my ds sometimes. He's 16 and still seems to enjoy spending time with us. When I was his age I used to refuse to sit by my dm on the bus or walk next to her!

He wants something and he is softening you up. Obviously seen the "someone wants a laptop" adverts on TV.

What does he enjoy doing? Is there a rock climbing or indoor skiing centre nearby? Walk in the forest? (don't have teenage DC, but do have a teenage nephew)

Go Ape! if you are up for it.

Theatre.

Afternoon tea.

Walk round a National Trust property.

A driving experience.

Yeh I think he wants something too. My DS used to say this, make me feel all warm inside, then he would suggest town with lunch, by the time we got home after a lovely afternoon I was about £150 lighter, and he had a number of carrier bags to bring in from the car.

Since he is now working FT, I haven't been asked out for the afternoon...is he afraid he may have to repay the favour?

I prefer the idea of something where you can talk, over the cinema, which limits conversation a bit - whether that is lunch or shopping or going to watch a football (rugby? hockey? basketball?) match together, or a local tourist thing / exhibition, or a walk in the countryside/forest/local country park, maybe?

sorry, its so long since I've done anything with ds I have absolutely no suggestions

heres what I'd like to do, if he ever asked

go to nandos

go shopping

go a walk

I am jealous.
Although Ds15 gave me a brisley (sp?) kiss last week, when no one was looking we have not done anything together for over a year.....

It is odd isn't it and I will certainly keep you all posted if he is building up to ask for more 'stuff/a terrible confession! My dd does the I want to spend time with you line then mentions the shops or what's my Amazon password! He has also agreed to go out for a meal/see a show with his uncle and grandparents.

For those who have asked what does he like to do I have totally no idea! Other than he loves films and appears to have a natural flair for languages oh and a loathing of any physical activity!

I am getting a sinking feeling of dread! I would be inclined to believe his body has been taken over by an alien spieces who like to spend time with their mums rather than anything else. If that is true I would like to invite this alien race to stay!!!

Nandos (in fact I'll take him)

Young Drivers (if you have one near you)

Theme park in their last few weeks (Thoroe Park Fright Night is fab if you're anywhere near there).

Cinema you do chat before and after.

Sports match?

Cinema, bowling, take him shopping for something (if there's anything he needs) - you could incorporate a drink and cake stop into this one. My DD is 14 and likes bike rides with us, is happy to potter around country villages (yes, really) or forest walks (will soon be time for being big kids again and kicking and throwing autumn leaves at eachother!) and playing board games (especially if there's hot chocolate and biscuits with it).

cinema about the only place my ds would let me take him when he was 16 (noone would see him cos DARK)

you lucky. Hope he's not after stuff.

Mind you, even if he is, am inclined to think so what

Have fun!

I like going to the cinema with dd. I see films I'd not have gone to see myself some are utter shite, and we talk about them before/after, get a coffee, etc.

If you're near London, take him to the Hunterian Museum. It's full of weird body parts, and the brain surgery video is fascinating. Or take the DLR to Greenwich, go round the Observatory, the Maritime etc and then a boat back to Embankment.

the Hunterian looks fabulous

that's one of our half term outings sorted

thanks Disgrace

My 16 yo DS would happily:
See a film at the arty cinema
Go to the shops (about three, max) then coffee and cake
Short walk, then coffee and cake
Uni visit, then coffee and cake
Can you see a theme here?!

My 16 year old ds and I go to a taekwondo class together twice a week. The drive is good for a chat, and I think kicking each other is good for angst as well as bonding!

Oh, I remember those days.
Though ds3 came home to visit not long ago and wanted to "do something" after his df and recovered we went to Hadrians Wall and had a great day out. He bought a sword (for a comicon he was going to) and I now have lots of embarrassing photos of him brandishing it.
Dd on the other hand takes no persuasion to join me (especially if shops are involved)

Do you both have bikes? A good hound round on them is always good fun.

Even stuff at home - baking/cooking making something. Many happy memories painting rooms in my house with my family.

I am jealous. I would love to do anything with dd. Can't remember the last time.

I would go to cinema and lunch.

Thanks everyone. His interest in doing something is continuing he hasn't asked for anything (yet). Thanks also for suggestions. I am disabled do the more energetic ideas won't suit us but all the mention of cake certainly will :-) I am still expecting the arrival of the mother ship any day now when they return my ds to me and my new alien son returns home!