Hi feel so gulity, need some perspective. I just swore at my 12yr old DS and now feel terrible and do angry that I didn't keep control and keep my mouth shut 
Basically I have a really bad back and Im normally fit and healthy and do most things for my boys. My 12 yr DS had had a friend round and they'd left xbox games everywhere so I very nicely asked him to put them away and then asked if he'd mind carrying the hoover upstairs for me as I can't manage with my back. He straight away hurled abuse at me "Im not doing that, you should do it etc etc" shouting and then started throwing his brothers drink and my glasses and then he called me a D. I took his phone for that. I then asked again very nicely if he could please help me and he picked up the remote controlled car his brother was playing with and threw it with great force at the floor so its now all buckled. It was then that I said you little S. I feel so bad.. and my other Son heard me say it. To be fair, he was being a S* but I should never have said it. It was just the amount of rudeness and disrespect and lack of concern for me being in pain that pushed me too far. Is this really bad?