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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Confidence Building Camps for Teens in Holidays

20 replies

linda007 · 21/10/2014 15:24

I have been looking for confidence building type camps here in the UK, Europe and even abroad to help my 13 yr old son in October (now) holidays December or next summer. Looking at him you would think he has everything going for him, in 1sts football in top boy's boarding school, tall, good looking (I know, I am his mum and bias...) etc, but he has always had problems making friends with boys his own age, even since he was 5. He just doesn't seem interested or says the wrong things at the wrong time or just plainly doesn't care or just seems nervous. I am so very concerned and constantly in tears (not in front of him of course) as he is the only child and has no family here I am from Sydney. Can anyone please help? L

OP posts:
uggmum · 21/10/2014 15:42

Hi, my dc have been to a few Camp Beaumont holidays in the uk. Although they are not advertised as confidence building they are multi activity.

Both my dc have had a great time on these holidays, they have made friends and feel that they have boosted their confidence.

The customer service team at camp Beaumont are great and will advise you on how one of their holidays could help your Son.

Original poster
linda007 · 21/10/2014 16:27

Hi uggmum, my son has been to these camps a few times...it depends on the location and staff I have found...we have just moved to Berkshire so maybe we should give it a shot here...I wanted more of a public speaking course.

OP posts:
uggmum · 21/10/2014 16:58

Some locations are better than others. The staff are all youth workers and can vary.

Is there an activity he really likes as there might be a more specialised holiday for him.

My dd is really shy and feels socially awkward at times and her camp holidays have really helped.

Sorry I don't know anything suitable, public speaking wise but I'm sure someone will be along soon that will.

Hope you sort something out.

ISingSoprano · 21/10/2014 17:24

I'm not sure that randomly picking an activity such as public speaking is going to do much for your son (sorry!).

My dd is quite an anxious girl and she hasn't found friendships easy but she has gained a lot of confidence by doing the thing she enjoys most and doing it with other like-minded young people (choral singing).

What about a football camp or a refereeing course for young people?

Original poster
linda007 · 21/10/2014 19:35

thanks ever so much to both of you....most courses are in summer, very little in October? I will continue my search...

OP posts:
jonicomelately · 21/10/2014 19:48

What exactly do you think the problem is? Social anxiety perhaps? I have a DS the same age. He doesn't have social anxiety but does have some issues with his confidence.
What are the school doing to help? Are they even aware of the problem? Why not try something like meditation? That helps with anxiety. This man has some excellent advice and useful links on his website
I hope that's helpful.

LeftHandedMouse · 22/10/2014 12:36

My son, now 20, was a bit like this.

Was friends with the boy up the road from birth pretty much, and then another lad who moved in, all the way throuh primary but not really anyone else.

This carried on through high school until about 15 or 16 then he started being friends with pretty much everyone, male and female. He ended up head of house. Now he pretty much makes friends with anyone he meets.

Is he boarding at school, or is he a day boy? Does he ever say why he doesn't want friends round or does it not come up? If you suggest he has a sleepover can he name three or four school mates he would ask?

Hakluyt · 22/10/2014 12:42

What does he like doing? Frankly I can't imagine anything worse than my mum saying "you need to work on your confidence, I'm sending you on a public speaking course" (I know you won't say it like that- but that's how he will receive it however you sugar coat it).

And if he's at boarding school he may not want to go away from home again in the holidays- boarding can be quite intense. He may just want to be at home to recharge his batteries.

Goldenlab · 29/10/2014 19:39

Camp Beaumont is where all of our teenage foster children have gone for a week over the summer for many years. They have all had fantastic times and done lovely confidence building things.

Original poster
linda007 · 20/12/2016 13:45

still searching, Camp Beaumont camps are fine, but it depends on the staff and 15 is a little old for it now....football referee course does sound interesting.

OP posts:
corythatwas · 20/12/2016 14:37

He is 15, and I think a very important part of building confidence at that age is to involve them as much as possible. What is he interested in? Does he want to go to a camp? Can he research suitable camps?

And everything Hakluyt says.

It is also worth considering that some people just are introverts. And that even more people go through an introvert stage in their teens and then come out of their shell later. As long as they are not unhappy, they don't actually need fixing: they need to know that they are ok as they are. The world needs all different kinds.

So I would very much be guided by your son here. Does he think he has a problem he would like to work on?

Original poster
linda007 · 20/12/2016 19:05

thank you cory....but its more complicated....he thrives on attention...which sadly negative more than positive...mainly at his boarding school...ie distracting in class...last one out of the minibus on his own at football matches even though he is the best player...

OP posts:
Becles · 20/12/2016 19:10

Have a look at NCS

MarthaSF321 · 22/12/2016 15:32

Have you considered your son joining an Explorer Scout group? My DD 14 is in one and they do loads of camps / survival stuff. It's great for confidence and friends. They have to plan and take a lot of responsibility for their camps and expeditions etc. Might be worth a look, check out Explorer scouts on line to find your nearest group. (their age group is 14-18)

Original poster
linda007 · 22/12/2016 16:22

Thank you Martha, however, my son attends a boarding school so the only day he has free is Sunday which limits him from weekly sessions.

OP posts:
NormaSmuff · 22/12/2016 16:28

isnt drama meant to be a great confidence booster.
can he do Stagecoach?

Sadik · 22/12/2016 16:33

I wonder if he might enjoy Forest School Camps? (Completely separate from Forest Schools - they came out of the Woodcraft Folk movement I believe.)

We used to have mobile camps stay a night or two with us one place I used to live, and they always seemed like they were a great experience. The leaders were generally early 20s, a lot of Quaker/activist types, and pretty inspiring I think. Their website isn't great, but maybe worth checking out the list for 2017 when it's available.

Your son would probably be towards the older end for a static camp (the mobile camps he'd be among the younger I guess) - but I suspect that might be good for confidence building as there's a lot of mutual support expected.

Saltedcaramelbrownie · 22/12/2016 16:57

How about a different activity such as sailing or horse riding or helping at an animal rescue center. Or maybe he can volunteer at a food bank or an environmental charity. Or help younger children at a football camp.

Original poster
linda007 · 22/12/2016 17:06

too old for stagecoach...could help younger children at football camps if he had the time off from school....

OP posts:
WankersHacksandThieves · 25/12/2016 23:34

What about a sailing trip?

www.oytsouth.org/

They have these trips all over but I picked the location I thought would be closest for you - I'm in Scotland so my geography may be a bit sketchy :)

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