Teenage son and GF have a baby due in December

[donnagym]

My teen has put himself and his parents through so much. School issues, early drug taking, self harming, major weight loss, police troubles....you name it. However, it seemed he was through alot of this, is calmer, happier and has got an agency job. Two weeks ago his GF texted me to say they were having a baby in December. They live with my son's Dad, who has been told and are in no imminent danger of homelessness. Her parents once over the shock have helped with baby kit and benefits information. i dont know what role i should take. so far ive talked to them as adults but not offered my help in cash or help. I want to be oart of this babys life and so do my family who all live about 200 miles away. I just dont know quite how. My son is very noncholant about the event, we have a history of him taking advantage and bullying me, physically and emotionally. Thats why he stays with his father not me. Really would appreciate your thoughts

I think it's lovely his gf felt it important to tell you and that shows maturity on her part.
I feel you need to build a granny relationship before the baby is born. Perhaps offer to meet for lunch. If you want to help financially you could offer to buy certain equipment such as the cot. You could go shopping together to buy it.
Your son may have matured out of bullying you. Was it connected with his hormones and drugs.
But you need to be strong with your new relationship with him. Be clear in your mind what behaviour is unacceptable from him and tell him it's unacceptable if it starts again.
I think you would regret not trying to rebuild your relationship. Good luck.

Your relationship with the GF is crucial because she will be the key to your relationship with your grandchild. It's great that she texted you- now keep the lines of communication open with her no matter what. Try to build a solid enough foundation with her that you will be able to stay friends with her should she and your DS ever separate.