Phrases you hope never to hear from your child

[DisgraceToTheYChromosome]

...and the current one from DD is "let's do lunch". Last month, after an affectionate conversation about nothing in particular, it was "I do enjoy these little chats".

Do I look like a middle manager, all polyester suits and a Daily Fail on the back seat of the Ford Focus? No, I f----g well don't!

Are your teens turning into Junior Apprentices?

I hope never to hear "i'm pregnant". Or "my gf is pregnant".
Not until they're at least 30.

Ah, bless her! Better, 'let's do lunch' than, 'mum, I'm pregnant!'

My personal one is, 'Mum, me and BF are getting engaged.' I will have to use the power of MN to get me a hit man if that happens!

Actually, the last time she asked for a puppy I said I'd prefer a grandchild, as they last longer and damage the furniture less.

There was a bit of an atmosphere.

Wish I could get rid of "You cannot blame me! It's not my fault that I'm lazy / forgetful / unable to resist temptation!"

@ There was a bit of an atmosphere.

im back withnthe ex girlfriend. Words that strike fear in my heart

Exactly the same as mrs bowie for me (and, of course, anything horrendous)

the regular one in my house is "Mum the toilet is blocked". with it's partner "Mum, I'm hungry"

Others I hope not to hear:

How do get sick out of carpet?
Can you help me with my Maths homework?
Can you hoover up glass?

The one that's been said a bit to much lately with two young teenage boys in the house is "My shoes are too small" :(