Freedom vs Safety for older teens (on trains/public transport)

[KatyMac]

DD is 16 & has been travelling to & from London (2 hour journey) for over a year

But I have always insisted that the latest train she gets is about a 7pm one; I don't know why I feel the later trains are more dangerous? In these days of open all day pubs the assumption that people about later might be drunk is daft

But are later trains and travelling later intrinsically more dangerous (less safe?) or am I a wuss?

I got an earlier train last summer - about 6pm and regretted it and wished I had got a later train. there were so many football supporters who were awful on the train it was about to erupt…

no later doesn't mean more dangerous

Oh we avoid football trains completely (total wuss)

I wouldn't worry. Dcs 17 and 15 regularly travel back from London after 7 and its never been an issue.

So long as you're not talking so late the train and station will be half empty, no reason it should be more dangerous.

Well she ended up at a closed station after 10 on night (but it wasn't entirely her fault - but it meant a very long drive for me)

She wouldn't be getting on until after 9

Dd travels to Manchester for concerts by train, obviously late trains home etc. She's 16 but streetwise, tough and travelling in a pack! There is never less than three of them, usually more. I would say a train at around 9pm is fine so long as she knows the process, has her tickets etc and knows how to deal with any obvious problems that may arise.

It's hard balancing it, isn't it

She is always by herself - which adds to the anxiety

Mine have been travelling in and out of London for gigs or to see friends since early teens. They are usually in pairs or a group though.

2 or 3 & I wouldn't even be asking

But by herself? I worry

If she was in a group I wouldn't worry. I think my attitude changes with the time of year (longer days etc). Do you drive? Could you perhaps pick up from a station further away from home. My DD drives but if on the rare occasion she has to be at work at 5.30am we take her as I don't want her walking around at that time on her own. Even my husband could not believe the dodgy looking characters that were around

Our station is already 45 minutes from home

I can't decide - I think I'll make DH go with her

I took my daughter and friend to London for a concert and they were 18!

My experience of late night trains (or even late evening trains) is that they're normally full enough to feel secure and not usually drunk-rowdy to a worrying extent. You do get the odd group, but I've got on post-rugby trains at 6pm which have had annoyingly drunk groups on them. However, I'm getting off the train whilst it's still in London, I have no idea how much it empties out further afield.

She'll be 'end of the line'

At 9 o'clock in London it will be pretty busy/safe still, but I would worry about it being really quiet by the time she'd got to the end of a two hour journey. If your dh goes with/to meet her at least he can see for himself what it's like and then you're in a better position to make a decision next time.

That is pretty much what we have decided - DH is going down with her as I am at work

I am not normally one for being a wuss, but having been hassled myself (more than once) when younger and having to get off a train from London at the wrong station just to get away from said hassle - I wouldn't allow it tbh.

It is completely different if more than one together though. I only ever felt unsafe when alone. Perhaps I wasn't in any danger from the weirdo's I encountered, but you feel more vulnerable I think when alone and therefore your ability to think clearly/remain calm can be compromised.

Reading this thread has me musing that perhaps we haven't moved on much at all in the 20 odd years since I was a teenager which is sad

By that I mean - it always did seem to be younger women/girls who have to consider these issues.... the drunk people/strange lurkers on trains aren't really a problem ime.... unless you are a young woman alone.

Which is wrong but always seems the way (sorry about the delay in responding - life got in the way)