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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Is DD14 too young to have her nails done?

18 replies

carolinecupcake · 09/05/2014 20:31

DD14 has always bitten her nails but recently went to get her nails done because 'everyone does'- because they were so short she had false ones stuck on but they actually looked very nice.Her own nails have had a chance to grow underneath.DH disagrees , he says she's too young and we had an argument about it.In fact generally he thinks I'm not strict enough and it's starting to cause problems between us! I'd like to hear what other people think.

OP posts:

goodasitgets · 09/05/2014 20:35

I wouldn't say she's too young
Although use a reputable place, don't always have them on and make sure they're removed properly. If she has a break from them, some nail oil to massage in will help the condition
I think the problem is when you have them on constantly and they can damage the nail if not properly done

MissOtisRegretsMadam · 09/05/2014 20:36

Would you pay for it or would she it's quite expensive to keep up with... And does ruin your natural ones underneath especially if you go to the ones mainly run by Vietnamese nail technicians who use illegal glue!

Could she grow them and get shellac or overlay over her natural nails and keep them natural looking?

I don't think it's too young it's more the cost and damage.

mathanxiety · 13/05/2014 18:23

Does your DD have some sort of problem with the DD growing up?
Does he have some fears he needs to sort out?
Is he generally a controlling sort of man?
How does he view women and girls in general?

Because DD is going to grow up no matter how scary he thinks the world is out there, and no matter how conflicted it is (possibly) making him feel, and far better for a DD to believe her dad is supporting her as she inches her way forward into womanhood than one who is putting his own feelings/fears/whatever ahead of her needs.

You and DH need to sort out your differences. It is really important to get to the bottom of what he thinks is going on here.

shoppingfrenzy · 13/05/2014 18:27

I am a nail biter, and long term this will cause more damage to her nails than a few months of falsies.

shoppingfrenzy · 13/05/2014 18:27

I mean the biting will cause more damage

curiousgeorgie · 13/05/2014 18:29

I take my 3 year old

I think your DD is absolutely old enough!

Catsmamma · 13/05/2014 18:30

Has your dh been out on a saturday afternoon/evening recently??....he is in for a dreadful shock if he thinks a bit of polish is going to be the worst that happens to a 14 year old girl!

I'd wonder about school....what are the rules there about painted nails, but other than that would not get involved. I'd say he's BU!

CMOTDibbler · 13/05/2014 18:31

I think a few months of acrylics to get her out of nail biting, and then doing shellac (its so smooth theres no rough nail edge to worry at, and hard enough to repel casual nibbling, would be well worth it to break the habit totally.
I do my own shellac, and its dead easy and cost less than £50 to start with if cost is an issue

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 13/05/2014 18:34

If her nails have grown how about just some gellish polish on in a nice school acceptable nude? It will protect them but will encourage her not to bite.

mathanxiety · 13/05/2014 18:36

As for the nails, I would say 14 is not too young. My own youngest DDs (then aged 11 and 14) got a gift of a manicure from oldest DD (then aged 22) for Christmas one year and the three of them went off and had a lovely time getting their nails done.

I am not a girly sort and normally don't go in for that sort of thing. It is actually that last thing I would have thought of as a gift for the DDs, but they loved it, and it did not have the effect of turning them into tramps, nor did it suck out their brain cells and ruin them for school. All my DDs have used nail polish, experimented with makeup, worn their hair long, shaved their legs and pits whenever they felt like doing it. At the same time, they have chosen great friends and they work hard in school.

Girls shouldn't have to choose between being academic or working hard in school on the one hand, and looking attractive (as they see it) and having a good time with friends. There doesn't have to be an Either/Or. As a strategy for building girls up and increasing their confidence throughout adolescence, encouragement of their little steps into womanhood is far more effective than insistence that they are still some sort of children.

It is also really important to pick your battles. There's a difference imo between getting nails done and spending summer evenings getting plastered on cider in the park, and there is no relationship between the two. Going along with stuff that is essentially harmless increases your credibility when it comes to stopping the sort of stuff that really is dangerous.

Trollsworth · 13/05/2014 18:37

She's not too young at all. He's remembering himself at fourteen and being male, he probably hadn't even hit puberty. He doesn't know what it is like to be a fourteen year old girl.

Hassled · 13/05/2014 18:38

Not at all - a completely normal thing for a 14 year old to want to do.

Angelto5 · 13/05/2014 18:39

I'm a nail biter & maybe letting her have a few weeks of falsies just to let her real nails grow might help. Then when she takes the fake ones off if she paints her real ones she may b reluctant 2 bite them!!! That's the only thing that stops me biting mine.

Original poster

carolinecupcake · 13/05/2014 21:16

Thanks everyone. mathanxiety I agree that you have to pick your battles and although I am quite laid back about most things, there are times when I do put my foot down.Of course it's natural for a girl of 14 to experiment with certain things within reason. DH is imo too strict about most things and is totally out of touch with what girls this age do,wear etc. Sometimes I think it's best to let them do things and get them out of their system!

OP posts:

Original poster

carolinecupcake · 13/05/2014 21:16

OP posts:

NearTheWindymill · 13/05/2014 21:50

My dd gave up biting her nails at New Year. They were normal by Easter and I took her for a manicure and polish. I wouldn't have let her have acrylics or shellac though. She's almost 16. She has had highlights for the last year.

I think you need to give them a little bit of rope and teach them how to do things nicely and tastefully and encourage. There's nothing wrong with a girl or woman making the best of herself. Everything wrong with articial embellishment though (in my opinion at least).

I think there's a middle road between your views and your husband's.

EduardoBarcelona · 13/05/2014 21:52

how odd
no thats fine!

NearTheWindymill · 13/05/2014 21:53

mathanxiety said it a zillion times better than I could articulate. Totally agree with everything she said. >>>bows

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