My moody, bad tempered, disrespectful 13 year old

[19thnervousbreakdown]

I am at my wits end! My daughter is 13, and she is behaving like a tyrant! She is bad tempered, short tempered, disrespectful, and generally horrible to live with. Every weekend is hell at the moment, and I don't know what to do with her. She speaks to me and her father as though we are idiots, and she makes fun of her father too, which upsets him. (then says she was 'only joking'). On Friday night she was awful, and then went upstairs and put some pink substance in our bed. The worse of it is that, next morning when we asked why she did it, she lied and swore that she didn't. She is not pleasant to be with anymore, and I'm afraid I don't like her much. I wouldn't have dared to behave like this when I was her age - I really don't know what to do.

Remove things she will miss. Like her mobile phone and laptop, if she has one.

I have done that - I have them more than she does!

Mine is almost 13 and drives me to distraction at times - also not learning after confiscation of lap top - but he wouldn't deliberately damage something.

She has to wash the bedding or pay for new if it won't come clean.
Apologise for doing it.
Apologise for lying.
Stop doing all the extras for until she grows up and realised she can't get away with behaving like this.

My son has had a lesson in consequences this week. He lost his games kit for 2 weeks. When it eventually turned up I refused to get it as he was rude so DH took him to get it and charged him parking. Due to having to pay parking he didn't have enough money to buy a game he wanted. Being rude to mummy cost me money and time out of the house [light bulb].

He also then had to earn the money he wanted and washed 2 cars, cleaned inside them and mowed the lawn. Did pull a face when I asked him to empty the dishwasher but you can't have everything.

All I can say it "she will grow out of it"

Dd was horrible to me for over 2 yrs, mostly lovely now, but hates dh. He was absolutely no support or good to me when I was the one she was hating so its karma. Infact I think she lost respect for him as he never once stood up for me. If she and I bickered he'd say "things were fine until you came home" and stuff like that.
I however, am more mature and talk to her about being nicer and politer at least doesn't fucking work but I try

Hi I have been looking in desperation this morning for help about my 13 year old Son, he has very similar traits, he refuses to go to school, lashes out and is very hurtful with his remarks, I have a partner and his Father lives in the UK (writing this from Aust), thought this was sorted out last year with counselling as he did take the departure of his Dad very hard. Sorry for jumping in here, but I share your frustration and I suppose am looking for the miracle solution. My only piece of advice is remove things that she will miss, am doing that and Hang in there, I guess that's all we can do.

Hi everyone,
There's a new post in the Media requests thread looking for people with troublesome teens - can you take a look and get in touch if this is relevant to you?
Thank you!

I'm struggling with my 12 year old son. Lately he talks to everyone like a bit of dirt on the bottom of his shoe, stealing, lying, and a general attitude problem.
Yesterday he was given detention by school for his outrageous behaviour and today he told his teacher to F* off as well as trying to push someone down stairs. He has been put in seclusion and expelled for tomorrow (friday)
He came home from school to find his room emptied of paper pens radio ( I already confiscated his TV ds and phone yesterday due to school and attitude at home)
I have refused to talk to him or even give him eye contact. He has been livid. Punched holes in walls, pleaded for me to talk to him, screamed abuse out the bedroom window...everything he can think of to get attention. Which he is not getting.
It seems to be hitting home that I am NOT impressed with him.
maybe a bit of tough love is needed... ?