13 year old DS Delayed puberty and excessive weight gain

[Nicole1976]

Hello all

During a very sensitive conversation with my 13yr old boy it became clear that he hasn't started puberty at all yet, which I feel concerned about. He still has a squeaky voice, No spots(good thing) and absolutely no pubic hair at all anywhere on his body; he also has a very small penis for a boy of 13 (I'm surprised he was happy to let me see this )

The other problem is his weight gain, in the past 6 months or so he has got much fatter and is now self conscious about his "fat belly, fat legs, boy boobs, fat face" and just about every other body part.

How can I make him feel better about himself ?
And should I continue to worry about the lack of puberty

First of all, get mnhq to edit your post as you have named your ds.

Is his diet poor?
Does he spend lots of time sitting down staring at a screen?

Those are things you have some control over, although sometimes the body can store a little fat in preparation for puberty or a growth spurt.

I don't think 13 is particularly young to not have visibly started puberty tbh, he will probably be stinking out his bedroom with lynx and cutting his face to shreds with a razor before you know it

average age for boys starting puberty is 12 so your son isn't very late, and well within normal range.

With the weight gain, have you seen a sudden increase in appetite or lack of exercise. Maybe trying to eat a little less and move a little more would help with the body shape? Everyone is different tho. Maybe talk about differences between people, and sometimes you can choose to do something about it if it upsets you (weight), and some things you can't (height), but that everybody has a different shape they tend to, and a different shape they are comfortable with?

Boys sometimes go through a chubby period before puberty just as girls do. New layers of muscle and fat are being laid down. Some boys (about 1/3 of them) also develop moobs at the pre pubescetnt stage. Again, normal. The recent weight gain is actually a sign that he may be on the cusp of puberty.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tanner_scale
Length of penis isn't the thing to look out for. You need to have your doctor check for testicular changes. Voice is one of the last things to change. Acne is another characteristic of late puberty.

What you can do is make sure your DS cuts back on fatty and sugary snack foods and learns to snack instead on calcium and protein-rich foods as well as fruits or even veg. Peanut butter, cheese, whole grains are pretty good. Protein shakes and smoothies made with yogurt and fruits or veg are also good. Also, provide a good balanced diet featuring protein, healthy carbs, fruit and veg. You can also get him involved in whatever exercise you can support.

My DS was later than a lot of his friends and was, just as you said, self-conscious about chubbiness and moobs. We asked GP, who sent us to a consultant who said DS was undoubtedly later than average but there was no sign of anything to be concerned about. IIRC his voice broke in the summer holiday between fourth and fifth form (Y10 and Y11 I think) and he is now a perfectly normal young man

13 isn't late at all - very much within normal expectations.
Also, a lot of dc put on weight at the start.
My ds grew quite fat at 13, and didn't really start "growing into" that weight until he was about 15. He's 17 now, tall and not carrying any spare weight.

Perfectly normal at 13. Some boys start earlier but most around 14and a chubby phase often comes before that big growth spurt.
He will have friends who are "ahead" of him and others the same as him.
Reassure him that he is not delayed In any way

When my ds was 13 he didn't show any signs of puberty, and was very young emotionally - still had soft toys, always gave me cuddles, played with slightly younger children. Fast forward two years and he is 6 ft tall, lots of spots, lors of attitude.

Puberty will come, for lots of boys it doesn't happen until they are mid-teens. Enjoy your 13 year old - when puberty hits you won't be able to cuddle him and he won't want to be with you!