Any advice on how to deal with selfish DO (14. 7)

[CattyBrown]

At the moment I'm really struggling on how to deal with DD. She has turned very selfish.

Without my knowledge she snuck all the chocolate she got for Christmas upstairs and hides it under her bed, she will not share ANYTHING. If I buy her doritos etc for a tele night she also hides them, BUT when she ate it all, she expected everyone else to share and got upset/angry when we said no.

Today, she had 4 things to remember. 1 for herself and 3 small things (posting letters etc).

When I asked if her if she had done them all, the only thing she 'remembered' was the 1 for herself.

She does this with most things, only remembers which are for, or benefit her.

Has anyone got any advice on how to deal with this please. It's driving me and DH up the wall

Typical teenager I,m afraid,the hormones are raging.

Very normal, it fluctuates and slowly gets better (mine nearly 16 will nowsometimes ask if I want a tea when she is making herself one). Don't take it personally, you haven't raised a monster and she won't become an anti-social pariah. However, no reason not to call her on it and keep reminding about being kind etc.

I'm 44 and don't share my chocolate with ANYONE!!

Why should she have to share it?

The rest is normal teenage stuff. Back off a little bit.

Why should she have to share her chocolate? Don't you have anything that's just for you?

My ds is lovely and very thoughtful in lots of ways but I'd have to remind him about 20 times to get him to post a letter!

My dd would share anything and still does but get her to wash her plate you would think she as putting her had in acid!

The amount of mouldy plates I found under her bed, in the bin or on top of the cupboard was unreal!!

She will wash her plate now 18, but will only get her fore finger and thumb wet

It will get better

I would leave her enjoy the chocolate but I would sit down and talk to her about only doing things to suit herself. Tell her the things everyone else does for and ask he how she would feel if you forgot to do xyz for.

I wouldn't pull her up on every little thing though or she will just switch off. Praise he when she does try and tell he you're proud of her.

I do think you need are right to be concerned though and they are important life skills.

Thanks guys.

Glad to hear it's normal. She was brought up to share.

As for praising her, I do that a lot. I'm having health problems and she helps, but I also praise her for schoolwork and give her compliments on how she looks etc.