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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

would you let your nearly 15 year old son?

32 replies

agalch · 14/07/2006 07:12

Go away on holiday to Wales with his gf and her family for a few days?

They have been going together since beg April and are daft on each other still. He was asked to stay over at her house (5 mins drive away) and he would be in her big brothers room and i was horrified at the time.Asked mnetters advice on a prvious thread and realised that i was feeling pretty crap cos he was growing away from me.

Since then we have got to know the gf and she is lovely.Parents also seem nice and have met them a few times too.I don't mind the time he spends with her family anymore and i like the fact that he has a gf whom he loves and respects.

I figure also that if they want to have sex they can do it here at home as well as in Wales so am trusting him on that.

Will be speaking to her parents later on today so any advice/views would be much appreciated.

Thanks

OP posts:
heavenis · 14/07/2006 07:27

I think it's nice that he has such a good relationship with his gf parents. They must think something of him to let their dd bring him on holiday.

Original poster
agalch · 14/07/2006 07:32

They have said they really like him and he makes their dd happy.He is a nice lad and if my dd brought a bf like him home i too would be delighted.

Thanks heavenis,we are almost sure we will let him go.He will prob be away when we have our new baby tho but hey it's only a baby lol

OP posts:
heavenis · 14/07/2006 07:44

How does he feel about the new baby,will he be upset if he's not there.

Original poster
agalch · 14/07/2006 07:48

heavenis,i am having a homebirth and he has already said he wants to go to a friends or somewhere else as he does not want to be at home when i have the baby.Dd is nearly 2 so it's not as big a deal as it would have been if this was the 1st baby iykwim? he says he hopes baby arrives before he would be going and if it doesn't then he will have a great coming home pressie.

OP posts:
heavenis · 14/07/2006 07:50

He sounds like a really nice lad. If he doesn't want to be around when you give birth and he happens to be on holiday then you'll know he's been looked after.
I hope everything goes well for you

Original poster
agalch · 14/07/2006 07:55

Thanks again
I think as they get older you can't see the wood for the trees.I spend too much time worrying about what could happen instead of just enjoying and relaxing.He will have a geat time as he's met her Welsh family/cousins etc,we don't have a huge family and don't see a lot of them so he enjoys all that.
Will give him the good news when he gets up today.

Cheers

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mell2 · 14/07/2006 08:03

It sounds like a really good situation. I think it is better to have a nice girlfriend than hanging around with groups of boys.

Lots of luck with the new baby agalch - don't spend time worrying about ds but enjoy toddler and new baby (easier said than done i know)

Original poster
agalch · 14/07/2006 08:39

Mell2,he is in a much better situation than lots of his friends.He doesn't hang around drinking etc so i am glad he spends spare time with her family.Much safer than the alternatives.

In a piece of homework he wrote about her as "An important person in my life".The last line was |who ever said you can't find the love of your life at 14?"

He likes the time away from his brother and sister too so can't blame him for wanting to go lol,i would too.

OP posts:
Somanykiddies · 16/07/2006 13:50

I used to go on holiday with my then bf (now my dh) and visa versa. It was brilliant. Have great memories of our holidays together, twenty odd years later I've still got the mug he bought me with my name on.

mousiemousie · 16/07/2006 13:53

Have you talked to him about becoming a father? Might be worth revisiting the subject.

Original poster
agalch · 16/07/2006 15:24

Somanykiddies,how old were you when you went on hols with your bf?

Mousiemousie,we talk on a fairly reg basis about sex etc. I reckon the best contraceptive has been his 2 yr old sister and the baby we are due next Sunday lol.

he is so looking forward to it and i guess i can't blame him,its pretty hectic round here usually with a younger brother and sister.

OP posts:
kama · 16/07/2006 15:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Somanykiddies · 16/07/2006 16:01

15, 16 and 17.

QueenEagle · 16/07/2006 16:03

I think I would allow him to go. But I would chat with his parents first to check out what the sleeping arrangements would be and stress that you insist on separate beds - not that I can imagine them allowing their dd to sleep in the same bed anyway.

Sounds like a relationship to be encouraged imo. Your ds sounds lovely.

mousiemousie · 16/07/2006 16:33

lol at best contraceptive is his 2 year old sister

He must be a lot more clued up than most

QueenEagle · 16/07/2006 16:37

I can so relate to the 2 year olds as contraceptive remark!

I am hoping my 14 year old dd and has taken on board how hard it is with my 3 and 1 year olds!

Original poster
agalch · 16/07/2006 22:07

Gf's parents have already spoken to them about where everyone will be sleeping and they are def in seperate rooms so thats not an issue.
He has said he will not be wanting to have kids for yrs and yrs if at all after us having dd and this lo. lol

Queen Eagle it's tough with the teen terrors and toddler tantrums eh?

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Original poster
agalch · 22/07/2006 17:10

Hi all

Well my ds left last night to go off on his hols with gf and her family and it's soooo peaceful round here. lol

had a text message from him this morning to say gf and her mum are sharing the double room and her dad and him are sharing the twin room,nice to know the parents are like me.he says it's nice and peaceful there with no brother and sister.

he's also phoned to ask if i am in labour yet(due tomorrow)and says i have to phone day or night to tell him when i'm in labour and when baby is born etc.

I like him being away occasionally as i can really miss him and appreciate him iyswim? He will only be home for 3 days and he'll be away again on his adventure hol in perth which was booked last year,so will end up seeing very little of him before he goes back to school.

Glad you all gave your opinions and advice and i let him go.He is a nice lad underneath all the teenage horribleness he shows us and i hope he has a fab time.he even gave me a huge hug and kiss in front of gf and her family and we both had lumps in our throats i think.

God if you've read all this sorry for rambling.feeling emotional and hormonal about new babys arrival and missing my big boy too.

OP posts:
mell2 · 22/07/2006 19:50

Oh agalch - he sounds like a lovely boy! I know what you mean about appreciating them when they have been away - it works both ways, he will appreciate you more when he gets back!

Hope you don't have to wait too long for new baby in this heat - good luckxxxxxxx

Original poster
agalch · 23/07/2006 08:38

Thanks mell2

I hope i don't have to wait too long either,not too hot today tho so feeling ok today.

I felt awful when he left on Friday but having spoken to him he is being looked after by her folks so i'm chilled about it now.

Imagine when we go on hols the next time,she'll have to come with us lol.

OP posts:
QueenEagle · 23/07/2006 08:50

agalch - give me teen terrors any day!!

Good luck with new baby, hope it's not going to be too long for you now.

Enjoy these few remaining days before he/she puts in an appearance.

Original poster
agalch · 23/07/2006 09:16

Cheers QueenEagle

Am enjoying my mat leave more now the weathers not quite so hot.Off to park with ds2 and dd now before it's really sunny and planning a bbq when dp gets back from work so gonna keep busy and not think about anything too much.

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ghosty · 23/07/2006 09:25

agalch ... your DS sounds a dream .... I hope that my DS turns out lovely like that and I hope my DD has a boyfriend like that
Good luck with the baby

Original poster
agalch · 23/07/2006 10:54

Thanks ghosty

Cant think why i was so upset when i think about my original post from ages ago.def must have been the pg hormones.He has just texted me this morning to say hes enjoying his hol and he misses us.

I am lucky,he could be a whole lot worse.He's a lot like his dad so i feel doubly lucky.Pg hormones have me feeling all mushy now,what am i like,always bubbling over something these days lol.

OP posts:
Original poster
agalch · 03/08/2006 13:30

Hi all

Ds arrived home yesterday and has had a great holiday and is a happy smiling teen(very strange to see).
His new baby sister arrived on Tuesday morning and he was delighted to see her too.So cheers for all your input and advice,letting him go was def the right thing to do.

xx

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