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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

So...now they've finished GCSEs etc what are your teenagers doing all day?!

26 replies

Misspiggy · 26/06/2006 16:26

DS1 (16) had his last exam just over a week ago so he has had a week to "wind down" from exam stresses. He and some friends went into town last Tue to look for jobs and he got a couple of application forms that have sat in his bedroom since then. When I asked him when he is going to fill them out and return them he said he's been too busy but will get round to it tomorrow as he's having some people around today. I'm worried that of he doesn't find a summer job, which looks possible as lots of places such as Tesco and Homebase aren't taking on anyone at the moment he is just going to drift for the next 10 weeks or so. What are your teenagers doing with themselves?

OP posts:
winnie · 26/06/2006 16:38

Misspiggy, I have been worrying about this too.
However, two and a bit weeks in and dd (16) is bored rigid and has conceded that she really hates not having any reason to get up. Dd is determined to get a job suddenly

FioFio · 26/06/2006 16:39

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Original poster
Misspiggy · 26/06/2006 19:34

Winnie - can't imagine my darling DS1 ever hating not having a reason to get up...if only! Has your DD had any luck with the job hunting yet? FF - your friend's son is very organised! DS1 is hoping to go back to 6th Form in Sept as long as he gets the grades he needs to do A levels so he's kind of in limbo atm. I was thinking of "employing" him as our cleaner, paying him the going hourly rate for the job but DH has his doubts as to how good a job he would do, although looking at DS1's bedroom, maybe Dh has a point!

OP posts:
Christie · 26/06/2006 21:24

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Christie · 26/06/2006 21:24

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Christie · 26/06/2006 21:26

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Tortington · 26/06/2006 22:03

job full time - money - paying me board - one third of his wages. good am skint

Original poster
Misspiggy · 26/06/2006 22:27

at Custardo. Christie - your Ds must have made a great impression, well done him! DS1 has just wandered in now from being out all afternoon at his mate's watching the World Cup (in bed til noon of course!) and asked for a fiver to go into town tomorrow to hand in job applications. If nothing comes of those then I think I'll be measuring him up for that pinny!

OP posts:
winnie · 26/06/2006 23:11

Misspiggy, re emloying ds as a cleaner. Will it work? Will he do it? Would you employ a cleaner if he wasn't doing it?

I have to wonder if being paid by parents for doing something badly is helping ds/dd(s) as it gives them no idea about the value of money.

I am hoping that dd will get a job and realise that the CD/makeup/top (whatever) took x number of hours working to earn the money for and therefore gain an insight into the actual price one pays for something. But I know I am probably being optimistic

Original poster
Misspiggy · 27/06/2006 16:13

Winnie - that's exactly what DH said ie. "would he actually do it?". DH is adamant that if DS doesn't get a job then his pocket money stops but I would feel a bit mean doing that if he genuinely can't find a job so I suppose I was trying to find a way round this. I feel a bit "piggy (no pun intended ) in the middle" about this as DH is a lot more hardline than I am about discipline etc with both my DSs and I can see it causing problems further down the line. Well, hopefully something will come of the application forms he has handed in this afternoon in town. Fingers crossed for your DD as well.

OP posts:
winnie · 27/06/2006 20:22

Misspiggy, I am more like you and thought 'OH I'll pay dd for doing things and that way we both win' but it was husband who pointed out that she doesn't contribute much at all to the household 'for free' and yet she is part of the household and that is where the discussion about not paying her stemmed from! In all honesty I have mixed feelings.

However, dd is having a one day trial next week following applying for a weekend job so I have everythng crossed. She is more bored than ever today and is definitely itching for a job and something to do. She even said she is missing school

Hope something comes up for your ds too

winnie · 27/06/2006 20:29

I think my mixed feelings come from the fact she is still my little girl... and simplistically (sp?)I don't want her to waste the holiday having no money.

Husband believes whatever dd earns she should be paying some keep from. Personally I would find this hard to do at this age. (My parents didn't expect money from me when I was working part time and earning quite a lot BUT having said that I did a lot around the house.)

Oh it's so difficult striking a balance.

Tortington · 27/06/2006 20:43

of course she should contribute - its the lesson of life doncha know - also she will stay until she's 43 if things are so good at home

if you feeel really bad ( which i dont ha haa) you could open an account for her and save it up towards the deposit of first mortgae or flat - personally i'm gonna spend it down the pub

winnie · 27/06/2006 20:49

custy, you are always so wise and sensible (and you make it all sound so easy... don't you ever suffer from guilt?

I do believe she needs a lesson in life in contributing generally and I think the saving thing is actually something to think about too.

She has had a couple of weeks of having no money from me because I spent so much for the bloody prom & it is having no money & nothing to do that has spurred her into getting off her backside and applying for things.

I was thinking only today of telling her to save 20% of all her earnings as she is terrible with money and needs to get into this habit of saving early on.

Original poster
Misspiggy · 27/06/2006 20:59

I feel very similar Winnie....summer holidays are meant to be fun aren't they? - his friends always seems to have money and I feel badly if DS is skint. I would find it hard to take any money off him for his keep if he did find a p/t job - I'd just be happy to not have to dole out pocket money every week!Men seem to have a harder view of it all don't they? DH is all for us stopping buying clothes etc for DS as well if he gets a job Sounds like he and your H are cut from the same cloth!!

OP posts:
Tortington · 27/06/2006 23:07

no i dont like them enough to feel guilty. i was preggers at his age - life of hard knocks and all that. no sympathy here - want money? get a job

winnie · 28/06/2006 14:38

Custy

lioncub · 30/06/2006 14:46

Hi there all!
My son has finished his exams but isn't 16 till end of July so can't kick his but into getting a job yet.
He said he wants to join the army (great) He's had an interview, a test and we have sent off all relevent info but he can't start the course he wants to do till he's 16 and 9 months so he's looking for something to put him on. I think he may be loosing heart with this as he keeps saying ohh but I have to be really fit and be able to do x amount of miles (far too lazy to do this). So I don't know what to do with him!!!!

JanH · 30/06/2006 14:51

He wants a nice manual job to get him fit then, lioncub! He can look and apply before his birthday.

jobcentre plus - tell him to start looking - or send him down to the jobcentre (but they'll only have the same inf and send him back to the internet probably) or scour local paper.

Tortington · 30/06/2006 14:58

or connections should help

are you sure about the army age thing - i remember talking to a lassy some years ago now, where she had to give special permission for her son to go in the army becuase of his age - as long as the legalities were sorted with the parents it was ok.

also the RAF dont take them til later but they keep em for 7 years! bonus. navy keep em for ages too.

now, far be it from me to be a cnut but my son had an army guy in school and came home and said " oh they do mountain climbing and quadbiking and everything i want to join the army!"

" you do get shot at and could die - bit of a downside" says i

"oh err...not doing that then"

duh

i did say he could go in RAF or navy - less likley to get killed. he said "no"
wonder why

get him volunteering then - charity shop or something. i bet you when you kick his arse to get out of bed at 7.30 to be in town to help out at a place all day every day where he isn't getting paid - he will find a job - guarenteed. in three weeks he will have a job - i put my dogs life on it

JanH · 30/06/2006 15:09

Oh, forgot about connections - much better idea. DS1 will be 18 next month and leaving full-time education, he registered with them ages ago and they rang recently to ask if he needed any help from them or could be signed off so they are on the ball.

website

Tortington · 30/06/2006 15:13

does he know what he wants to do?

JanH · 30/06/2006 15:20

What, mine? Noooo! He does want to go to uni but his grades haven't been great so far, so he hasn't applied this time.

He's going to work for a marquee company for the summer - supposed to be v good money, great if he can get himself out of bed to pick-up point on time - dunno after that.

Tortington · 30/06/2006 15:22

after that send him away to put up tents in france he'll have a ball!

tallulah · 30/06/2006 18:40

Mine is doing 2 weeks work experience on a dairy farm He comes home stinking of cows but really hyper- he's really enjoying it.

After that he is off for a week on an Aimhigher summer school. Then he needs to get a job.