Laptop in bedroom

[KatyPutTheCuttleOn]

The rule has always been that the internet is not allowed in the bedrooms. DD is now 14 and is needing the internet for homework but says she can't concentrate if she is down in the lounge (younger siblings). I say she can't have the internet in her bedroom but she insists.
Do you put your foot down and say no or accept that it's reasonable now that she is 14?

DD2 doesn't have a smart phone. Her phone Internet is worse than a snail in treacle.

DD1 does. No point in worrying what she sends from bed.

They have two hours on the bus each day to do as much sextexing, and dubious web surfing as they like.

Honestly folks weren't you ever teens. If teens want to get up to no good they will get up to no good.

I generally didn't because I never saw the point, why rebel when you have a supportive loving home.

I can only hope my DDs feel the same.

You can have all the rules you like, but if your teens don't have the self confidence to keep out of trouble it will only slightly delay the chaos not prevent it.

I agree starball .

bymoonlight DD1 does have a fancy phone (Galaxy Ace).
Internet access is disabled however .

Phone anyway lives in school bag normally so on school nights is downstairs after tea. In holidays lives downstairs at the charging station.

I think my teen benefits from having clear boundaries, and protection from being encouraged to 'grow up' too soon. Trusting not to read too late at bedtime is one thing. Giving unlimited access to any old person on the internet who might be much more worldly wise / devious than she is, is quite another matter.

Also, we put time and effort to ensure my teen can participate in hobbies, see friends face to face etc. She does not need internet access on her phone/in her bedroom, she is too busy doing more fun stuff.

I think you have a really good system in place TeenAndTween. I hope we can similar in this house as my dd's grow up.

I agree completely with you about hobbies as well.

my two certainly have other hobbies and oddly its the one who's always had a lap top from being small who is the sporty one who has spent about two hours on the trampoline today practicing gymnastics.

As for the more world wise person, suffice to say they existed before the internet and give up when they realise you may be a bit of an odd ball, but your not as innocent or as in need of comfort as they'd like. (and there is no delete key for people in RL).

DD2 has far too many real friends to text and keep in touch, with because they went to different schools, to want to talk to strangers.

And DD1 is a total cynic.

Isn't MN a strange place ,where people assume that because you allow TVs ,tablets and laptops in bedrooms that your children spend all their time sat upstairs glued to them ! Children that have free access probably use them less than those on a timer in reality .

I was just composing a reply when DD2 appeared looking for a drink and a good night kiss.

So here is her reply (after I said we were discussing time limits on lap tops).

"I can go outside when the sun shines and go on my lap top when I'm tired and want to unwind and I'll mostly come down for tea without moaning because I can go back later".

The last point is I think the main reason why I would hate screen time limits. Generally when I say that's enough TV, SIMs, utube or in DD1's case Dr. Who, Sherlock or old fashioned book, they do stop without much grumbling.

If we had limits and rules they would constantly be either moaning about them or stretching them to breaking point. (DD2 very obviously with much grump and DD1 very quietly and deviously.)

Also because they don't feel pressured some of their computing is actually quite educational. DD2 watches loads of gymnastics and has learned lots of hair styles. That she gets DD1 to help her with. DD2 likes history and science documentaries and some of her late night TV watching really is serious BBC4.

If I limited screen time it would all be sims, pointless free games and reruns of Dr who.

Oh fucking hell. I've been trusting DS1 (nearly 16) with the iPad in his room for a year or so. He's just been given an early birthday present of a laptop by his dad. I still check his emails occasionally and tonight find one from 'Pornhub' to activate his account. I googled Pornhub and it's not nice.

He's gone for a sleepover for his friend's birthday tonight and taken his laptop with him. How the hell do I deal with this tomorrow? The family PC is in the dining room. I will ban all electronics for all 3 DSs from their bedrooms and turn off the router at my bedtime. I'm tempted to confiscate DS's brand new laptop and give it back to his dad, he can keep it at his dad's house. Except that'll make me the big baddy and his (lying, cheating) dad the goody.

How do I go about putting parental controls on his laptop?

This might need a new thread...

Sorry I'm giggling. I'd have thought the only think that's certain in life that if a DS doesn't have a computer until he's 15 the first thing he'll do is find porn.

The first thing DH said to Siri, was find naked women.

Honestly, the male species are very predictable. I'm not sure at almost 16 there is much you can say except be very disapproving.

I was expecting a bit of mild porn, but pornhub's homepage is all about hard core porn, a forum etc. Not just tits and arses. He's fucking subscribed to it!

But, StarBall, thanks for putting a bit of perspective on it for me. He's my PFB, he's not supposed to be subscribing to a porn website! Otherwise he's quite a nice lad, really...