Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Flip

Original poster

12 year old DD writing racy stories

22 replies

jibjib · 28/08/2013 21:56

I have just found a pretty pornographic fantasy story that my 12 year old DD has written on her computer. She's always been an enthusiastic creative writer, writing the kind of stuff that parents and teachers rave about, but this stuff was clearly not meant for adult eyes - brings a whole new interpretation to 'child porn'. I'm trying to remember what being 12 was like, but v.long time ago. Should I be concerned, should I let her know I've seen it? It's kind of naive in some ways but alarmingly knowing in others - snogging, blow jobs & humping. Has anyone out there had a similar experience and handled it with aplomb?

OP posts:

DalmationDots · 28/08/2013 22:12

Are you sure that she wrote it? Maybe she found it online?
Is 50 shades type books talked about or read by her friends? Do you have a copy lying about?

Is she the type of girl who would be exposed/around friends talking about that kind of racy thing? Or is this quite a shock that she would know and write about them?

I have no idea what I'd do but guess it would all depend on the above.

AmberLeaf · 28/08/2013 22:18

There was loads of this sort of thing going around facebook a while back.

Very explicit [but obviously not written from that much experience!] 'urban' stories about 'keisha the sket' that sort of thing.

Maybe she has seen something like that? or heard about it at school?

Original poster

jibjib · 28/08/2013 22:37

Definitely her own work. She's not on FB. I guess not unusual for a 12 year old to fantasize about sexual experiences, just a bit of a shock to see it in print, although she has always expressed her ideas and imaginings in stories, so perhaps not so surprising. I'm one of the few who hasn't read 50 Shades, but she has seen 12A & 15 certified films that have romantic, mildly sexual, though not explicit plots. Her racy story is essentially a love story with graphic sex scenes. I'm not worried that they are informed by experience, just feeling confused about what my response should be.

OP posts:

BehindLockNumberNine · 28/08/2013 22:40

I did that at the exact same age. This was pre-pc's though (dusts off zimmerframe) and I had a bit of a crush at a girl a few years above me in school. I wrote a story involving me and her (but different names I think), it covered 3 sides of A4. I hid it under the hamster cage in my room.
Mum must have found it during a deep clean one day and read it because she later made a veiled comment about it. I was mortified

I think it is a way of processing things, I still do it to this day (but about more mundane stuff as happily married to dh)

BehindLockNumberNine · 28/08/2013 22:41

Sorry, posted too soon.

My advice would be to not have a response. It was probably not meant for your eyes...
My mum really upset me by letting on she had read it...

BOF · 28/08/2013 22:42

I'd ignore it. We've all done it.

vaticancameo · 28/08/2013 22:53

I did this at a similar age (heavily influenced by Judy Blume's "Forever", as I recall). I used to be so paranoid about anyone finding my stories I ended up shredding them and then burying them in the garden! It meant nothing sinister, op. Trust me, I was a very innocent teenager and didn't even kiss a boy until I was 15. It was just my way of experimenting with new feelings and knowledge, I think.

PeriPathetic · 28/08/2013 22:56

Has she been on Wattpad ? It seems to be where kids that age get their ideas. Fanfic and the like.
DD has a notebook of stories... I really wish I hadn't looked
I too did nothing.

Original poster

jibjib · 28/08/2013 23:12

Like 'do nothing'.

OP posts:

livinginwonderland · 29/08/2013 07:47

I did this :) I wouldn't worry about it.

Original poster

jibjib · 29/08/2013 10:05

This was my first time using MN. How reassuring to be part of such a common sense discussion. Can't believe I've got through 12 years of parenting dilemmas thinking 'MN not for me'. Thank you all for your honesty and good sense. I will not respond and will be reassured by the fact that a) DD's sexual fantasies seem pretty positive and b) she's a cracking good writer.

OP posts:

TeWiSavesTheDay · 29/08/2013 10:10

I would ignore it too, it's pretty normal. She's starting to have those kind of thoughts and interpreted it creatively, which matches her personality.

breadandbutterfly · 29/08/2013 16:29

The only thing I would check is if she's sending it to friends/people she knows etc where it could be taken as what she's up to. If it's just for her benefit only (or even posted anonymously on the internet), it's fine and normal. I remember writing a lesbian love story at about the same age - I'm nor ever have been a lesbian. It just seemed like a good story at the time.

MedusaIsHavingaBadHairday · 29/08/2013 22:48

God I'd forgotten about his... I wrote a story too.. with pictures
Mostly 'Jackie' magazine (I'm old) style romance but with some graphic sex scenes thrown in...

I was 12 or 13 at the time and had NO sexual experience.

Now I'm wondering what happened to my story...!!!!!

flow4 · 30/08/2013 08:07

I wrote a story full of fear and frisson about narrowly avoiding being 'The Ripper's' victim. And handed it in as homework. Thank goodness I had an excellent English teacher who praised my writing style and didn't make a child protection referral .

assumpta · 30/08/2013 16:22

Jibjib - we found something similar, but hand written. If I had come on here first I may not have investigated further, but I am glad I did. Unfortunately we found that there had been inappropriate contact through various avenues, bbm, sexting, skype, whatsapp, snapchat, actual phone to phone talk, etc. The whole written thing didn't sit well with us and we felt we needed to check into it further, and for us I think it was the right decision. We are in no way out of the woods yet, maybe we won't get there, but I hope that we will get through it. Perhaps the content of our dd was more explicit, but it sounds kind of similar. I wish you well, whatever you decide.

AintNobodyGotTimeFurThat · 30/08/2013 17:01

I too had wrote these stories from around 11ish onwards.

I was a very creative child and like your daughter some of it I completely got wrong (how to even have sex in the first place) but the snogging and touching would've made sense. It was also 'supernaturalesque' so it had another layer of taboo to it. I am sure Mum must've found them, not sure if she read them as her own Mum read her private diaries as a child so I doubt she'd have read, except maybe the first line to see if it was something she could read i.e. a school report or something like that.

Some of my stories were pretty damn graphic too. From 14ish onwards they were proper graphic too and with very little naiveté. However, I always posted them anonymously online. I even posted a few on Literotica at about 16 although obviously I wasn't supposed to.

As long as she isn't distributing it amongst her friends or hasn't wrote anything that would be an indication of actual carnal knowledge (I sound like a book now, sorry!) I would not be in the least bit worried.

But sorry you had to read that stuff. My 23 year old self is quite mortified with the stuff I have wrote and I really doubt I will read my daughters private etchings when she is old enough, as I would probably be more horrified than she would be :)

almapudden · 30/08/2013 17:12

My GCSE coursework was a terribly overwritten epic of gushing homoerotica. The main character was a rent boy. People were murdered for LOVE.

My poor teacher.

MrsDavidBowie · 31/08/2013 22:06

I used to do it too when I was 11 or 12, mainly involving David Cassidy. My dad found them and hit me

didn't stop me writing them though.

cory · 01/09/2013 00:34

sitting here cringing at the thought that I never knew what became of my diary when we moved house

did the new neighbours find it?

or had I disposed of it safely before the move and then forgotten about it? [hopeful emoticon]

or did my mother find it?

PrincessTeacake · 06/09/2013 09:22

I used to do this too, nothing to be stressing about. As I recall it kept me out of trouble, was too busy updating my stories to go binge drinking on street corners.

PlotTwist · 06/09/2013 09:31

I did this too. Then lent it to a friend when I went on a school trip because my bedroom was being decorated and never got the flaming thing back. I was 12/13 and had no experience. I wouldn't worry too much, just steer her away from putting it up online.

Flip