Swimwear and Teenage Daughter

[FrauMoose]

Has anyone else had the experience of a teenage daughter getting quite distressed about being asked to get something to wear for a holiday in a warm country where there will be opportunities to swim?

I've just had this with my own daughter. I think she is just quite reluctant at the amount of physical exposure even wearing a one-piece swimsuit will involve. Have had a conversation and come to an agreement. (She's not anorexic, bulimic, self-harming etc. And it's not like puberty has only just happened.) It's more a strong sense of shyness, privacy, self-consciousness, in her case...

No experience I'm afraid, but possibly suggest snorkel/surf tops if she's very self conscious.

I was like this as a teenager and still am really. Would she wear one of those kaftan type things to go over a costume? Or a long t shirt? I always swam with a tshirt over my costume!

I would support her in finding something comortable to wear and and not make a thug about it because it isn't really a problem. I don't like to wear swim
Suits but I am comfortable with my body in that I know what suits me and what doesn't. Better than being over confident and wearing something inappropriate, as some young girls do, or under confident to the point of hating your body and harming yourself.

Good luck!

Lots of pretty sarongs?

Thing not thug!

Lands End - and probably other places too - do swim shorts with separate tankini tops. No extra coverage for the top half but slightly more for her bottom half.

I've seen plenty of girls wearing boys' swimming shorts over one piece suits, looks quite cool and maybe better than a sarong. Or a t shirt, depending on which body part she feels more comfortable exposing.

Could it be a body hair thing? Does she already shave/wax/use creams etc?

Something like these rash vests over board shorts would be great for swimming but offer lots of cover (and look good too)

I would go with rash vests and boardshorts as well, maybe a swimsuit with skirt attached for the days when she feels braver. Definitely some tunicy type things for swanning around, then just strip for the water?

She has gone off shopping and will - I think - come back with something. We just left it that I'd like her to have the option of being able to swim to cool down - we're on a walking holiday with some stops at beaches - but that if she wanted to keep covered up on the beach, and put a shirt, shorts etc back on immediately on getting out of the water, that was a) fine and b) a sensible way to avoid burning.

DD lives in a t shirt over her swimsuit, just for sun protection as she's very fair. it works well

This has come up about 36 hours before we leave for the airport!

Agree with Flick. I live in a hot country and most teens here wear a swimsuit with board shorts and a rash top - look at Billabong, Quiksilver, Roxy etc for trendy stuff.

I am a simple unworldly soul who only just knows what board shorts are, and would/will have to look up what a rash top is.

I shall have to hope that the (smallish) sum of money I offered, the facilities of a modestly sized town, and the advice of her best mate will sort this. (Some post-all-her-GCSEs-but-the-very-last-one stress may have been a factor in this morning's emotion-laden exchange.) Otherwise it's a trip to the nearby sports shop tomorrow morning for a not too flash looking one piece cozzie.

A rash top is a UV top - basically a short or long sleeved T shirt made out of swimsuit fabric. I suspect a normal T shirt will be a good substitute though.

In Australia, most teenage girls wear surf shorts (can be quite short or longer ones) and a rashie top... would she consider that?

You can buy mens/boys board shorts (if she wants longer style), they are all floral and pretty, no difference (as long as they are tight enough at waist to not fall down!). Not sure who stocks rashie type tops here, but ebay/amazon would surely have some??

She started to get quite upset at the idea of a possible mother/daughter conversation re body image/pressures on girls to look perfect. So I just concentrated on the fact that I wanted her to be able to swim, if she decided on holiday that she wanted to.

So it is hard to know exactly what she is self-conscious about - being looked at, perceived imperfections, anything re hair. So we left it that she could choose about covering up, but I wanted her to have the choice of swimming.

my dd (14) wears a bikini and shorts

I wonder if it's worse for teenagers now. I don't remember quite so many articles about 'bikini bodies' etc in my youth.

My older two both went through it at 14 - 16 ish, despite having (because of having?) perfectly attractive bodies (though the shyer of the two did not acknowledge this). Board shorts and swim tops solve the problem entirely and they grow out of it. It seems very common now among this age but is a bit of a shame for them.

Have a lovely holiday.

Nice posting name Slipshod. (A lot of the time I'm cheerfully oblivous to the problems of adolescent girlhood/my daughter's adolescent girlhood. Which I suppose means they are not too dreadful, in the larger scheme of things.)

We were living in a hot country at this time so saw a lot of the problem, but in another way it is a blessing as it completely protects their skin from the sun, you are saved from arguments about what i ended up called 'sun scream' and they can swim just as freely and the fabric dries quickly.

rash vest and board shorts. no sunburn, no slipping. looks good too.