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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Would you let your 13 year old DS ...

34 replies

Spidermama · 04/05/2013 21:35

... travel to Thorpe Park with another 13 year old. No adults. They'd be going on a train, involving one change (Clapham Junction), and back again?

OP posts:
Original poster
Spidermama · 04/05/2013 21:36

He wants me to include the fact that he has once done a train journey alone involving change. (Birmingham - Southampton - Brighton)

OP posts:
PhyllisDoris · 04/05/2013 21:38

No, I would not.

Bowlersarm · 04/05/2013 21:39

I'm unsure about this. My 13 year old has been round Thorpe park with a friend although they were dropped off at the entrance. I probably wouldn't, but can see that people would let their sensible 13 year olds.

Thingymajigs · 04/05/2013 21:44

No. I barely trust mine to walk to the corner shop and back. But then again he is only just turning 13 and has high functioning autism which might affect my decision on these things. I think at 13 I was travelling on trains on my own quite frequently. I guess its down to the individual.

MikeLitoris · 04/05/2013 21:45

How far away is it?

I dont think I can judge fairly as it is a big trip from where I live (2+ hour drive)

If it was closer I would consider letting him.

5madthings · 04/05/2013 21:46

Well i let my 13yr old ds go to london on the train, its two hours from us. So yes if it were my sensible ds1 and i knew his friend well i would :)

Original poster
Spidermama · 04/05/2013 21:49

From Brighton so about an hour and a half each way. At home he's very sensible, helpful, respectful, walks the dog, cooks etc. At school and with friends in town he dicks around a bit. Gets into trouble in school, likes pranking etc. It's the latter version of DS who concerns me in these plans.

OP posts:
Original poster
Spidermama · 04/05/2013 21:51

I'm quite surprised at how laid back you have been so far. I thought everyone would pile on and say, 'Certainly not. They're far too young. It will definitely all go badly wrong'.

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derektheladyhamster · 04/05/2013 21:52

No, I would take him and let him go round on his own, but I wouldn't feel comfy letting him travel there on his own unless he was really confident about train travel.

Ingles2 · 04/05/2013 21:52

No I don't think so... I've got a 13 yr old ds who travels an hour each way to school on a dedicated coach and ive seen how daft he can be with his mates...I'd be worried about not paying enough attention when he should cos he's too busy chatting/ play a game/ being daft!

derektheladyhamster · 04/05/2013 21:53

Actually rephrase that. Unless i was really confident about him travelling on the train.

Ingles2 · 04/05/2013 21:54

Cross posts.. Yep my boy dicks around as well.. The travel is a recipe for disaster... Can you get him there!

Sparklingbrook · 04/05/2013 21:55

What do you think could happen Spider? I have a 13 year old DS who is v sensible but probably not confident enough to do that trip. Sad

Machli · 04/05/2013 21:56

No. My ds has HFA but I know other 13 YO NT kids as well and there's not a one I would say should be allowed to do it.

daisydoodoo · 04/05/2013 21:58

No not travel by train themselves. We live not too far from thorpe park and usually one parent drops them off and another parent picks up.
Ds1 is almost 16 and this has been the arrangements since he was 13. Id probably let him go by train now.

Viewofthehills · 04/05/2013 22:01

I would let mine actually, but I would be on standby to go to the rescue if necessary.

Original poster
Spidermama · 04/05/2013 22:02

Sparkling if anything he's too confident.
Ingles I could get him there but I have three others and as DH is away I'd have to take the two younger ones with me as there's not much else to do in Staines as far as I know. It would be expensive and 13 year old DS's style would be cramped by knowing his mother is at large.

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chocolatespiders · 04/05/2013 22:06

I would make it clear that this trip sets the stance for anything he wants to do alone in the future Smile

Original poster
Spidermama · 04/05/2013 22:06

Good idea spider sister Wink

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5madthings · 04/05/2013 22:14

Ok an hour and a half journey and one change, yes i would let ds1 do that.

I would set some conditions ie time to be home and to txt and let you know he has got there and when he is leaving etc.

My sensible 13 yr old would be fine with this type of trip.

Is it a friend you know reasonably well?

Original poster
Spidermama · 04/05/2013 22:16

I've only met the friend twice. He stayed overnight once. He's very polite and respectful to me. Seems pretty confident.

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5madthings · 04/05/2013 22:22

Can you speak to friends parents?

I think this is an ideal 'test' trip and bit of responsibility at an appropriate age. Its very hard letting them do these things but so far mine has impressed me with his sensible attitudd and when he has had drama ie a bus not turning up he has been able to deal with it.

You know your son and his capabilities. Set guidlines and make sure he knows there will be consequences if he doesnt respect the trust you are giving him.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 04/05/2013 22:22

Staines has a cinema.Half an hour away by car is Chessington World of Adventures you could take the younger ones there and come back for ess.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 04/05/2013 22:22

From your description of him yes, I would.

5madthings · 04/05/2013 22:26

I have just asked dp and he says yes but ds1 would have to txt to say he got on the second train and txt to say he arrived safely and ditto on return journey :)

dp is normally more cautious than me btw but he still thinks it would be fine (he works with teenagers as well so is pretty clued up as to their capabilities etc)