Should parents check DC's mobiles & Facebook?

[missprocrastinate]

Hi, just wondering if anyone else checks DC's mobiles, Facebook etc. We had a trust issue with our DS towards end of last year - cigarettes & drugs were involved (he's 14)! This has been sorted out now but since then, I'm finding it v difficult to trust him & find myself checking his phone & FB each day. It all seems ok these days - just usual teenage chit chat.

He doesn't know I do this & DH says I should stop now & respect his privacy. He's probably right but I worry he could get into trouble again & we won't have a clue.

Should I stop? Do other parents do this?

Absolutely keep an eye on it! And keep an eye on twitter too!
Yes children have a right to some privacy, but they also have the right to be protected- not in an OTT way, just quietly from a distance.
My dd knows I keep an eye on Facebook, and I sometimes ask to see her phone....this was following some trust issues a while back, and so far so good.
What she doesn't know is I keep an eye on her Twitter, so I know she's not "saving it all for Twitter", and again, so far so good.

As I said, they do have rights, but with those, come responsibilities (favourite phrase EVER- got it from my auntie )

I would only do it if I had reason to be worried. I have no reasons, so I haven't so far. With rights come responsibilities and to me one responsibility for teens is to behave like a decent person even when nobody is looking over your shoulder. Of course, if that falls down, then I would have to think again.

We do check, but openly, not behind his back. Regular checking was a condition of him having access to these things in the first place. When he first gets the privilege, we check more often, then as time goes by we check less often as he has proven that he can use it safely and without sharing anything inappropriate or offensive.

He has had a mobile for two years and we haven't yet seen any texts from him that concern us (although some of the texts his friends send to him are a bit close to the line).

He has been on Twitter for just over a year, and in that time has retweeted two jokes that were inappropriate. Each time I explained why they were badly judged and he agreed and deleted them.

He has been on Facebook for a month and hasn't shared anything I didn't like, but two things appeared on his wall that concerned me. Both times it was because a friend had commented on someone else's link. He has since set those friends so he doesn't see things they comment on.

Not sure about texts but anything posted on the Internet isn't 'private' IMO. After all, its there discoverable for ever if someone really wants to find it. This is what I keep stressing to DC - someday they may go for a job with high security clearance and have someone do a very full background check on them and discover those photos...

Think being their friend on Facebook is ok and lots of parents insist on that which helps but not sure about checking phone ?