Help my 14yr old daughter is coming between my husband an I

[katykaboom]

Has anyone got any advice on how to explain to my 14yr old daughter that I need time with my husband? We're not allowed to sit next to each other at the dining table, she comes inbetween us if we're holding hands and my husband and I are struggling to find time to be intimate. It's putting a great strain on our relationship. I'm hoping it's just a temporary thing. I've tried to explain relationships and asked her if anything is troubling her but I'm not getting anything back. Has anyone else experienced this?

My message is to let her do it for as long as possible. We long for our 14 year old daughter to come and sit with us but she just locks herself away in her bedroom. Surely intimate time is in bed and I presume she has her own bed?

Is this a fairly new relationship? It sounds like she feels pushed out. Make time for her.

Interesting point Toby.

I'd concur with Toby's question. My DDs (14 and 17) found me holding hands or hugging DH (their SD) quite odd to start with but are now used to it. Also they were used to having me to themselves, and had to adjust to 'sharing' me with him. They also now have bfs of their own and are prone to snogging them in front of me as "payback"... How does she get on with your DH in general?

Aside from that, how she actually prevent you from sitting next to each other at the dining table? Physically move in between you or create a fuss? Ditto holding hands etc. I'm assuming that when you say "time to be intimate" you mean time to be a couple, again, I'm struggling with this as my DDs go to bed after we do! We solve it by walking on the beach! Can you make a regular 'date' (urgh, I hate it when people say 'date night' but I hope you get the gist) to spend time together, out of the house if necessary?

I think that some teens struggle with the concept of their mum/dad being a romantic, sexual being. Every generation, after all, things they invented love, romance and sex and possibly at the time when they are starting to be aware of themselves as sexual beings, they don't want proof that mum/dad is as well?

Just some thoughts anyway.

Get a tv in your bedroom and go to be early is my advice.

I'm muddled. You use the word "husband" rather than "father". Is your husband your DDs father, in that you've lived together ever since her birth? If not, how long have you been together?

If he's your DDs dad the problem is a very different one from that caused by a new relationship. Could you elaborate, please?

i second that, secondhandRosie - we never see or hear our DD apart from the monosyllabic appearance at mealtimes. I sometimes think DD doesn't like us. So, OP - be glad your DD still likes you!

Is this her father?