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Teenagers

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Original poster

Daughter on school trip in Europe and homesick :((

12 replies

WorriesRus · 22/01/2013 20:59

My dd has gone to Europe on a school trip for a week. She's been looking forward to it for ages - and I've been dreading it. Had a flurry of happy texts and a very happy phonecall on Sunday when they arrived at their hotel but have just phoned her and she got upset and tearful. Said she's really missing me and would rather be at home. I had anticipated this but hoped I would be wrong - as a youngster I never went anywhere because I couldn't stand being without my mum.

She's due back on Saturday and I don't know how I will get through the next 3/4 days. I now wish I hadn't phoned her because I probably made her feel even worse. Just need some reassurance please..

OP posts:
Ragwort · 22/01/2013 21:04

Just don't phone again - I am sure she only got homesick becuase you phoned Hmm - how old is she? remembers the days before mobile phones when we all managed perfectly well.

You are making this all about yourself 'I don't know how I will get through the next 3/4 days' - haven't you got any hobbies/interests/books to read/a job to go to/elderly parents to care for/voluntary work/cat to occupy your self instead of worrying about your DD who is doing a great thing in being independent and enjoying a school trip abroad.

I know we are all different but I had a great time relaxing when my DS went off on a school trip - and so did he Grin.

Original poster
WorriesRus · 22/01/2013 21:12

Yes you are right, it does sound as though it's about me - I know she was homesick before I called but would have probably managed had I not phoned.

I do actually have lots to do during the day, it's the night times which will be difficult, obviously I've made it worse.

OP posts:
exexpat · 22/01/2013 21:15

Phones have been confiscated on all the school trips my DS has been on precisely because conversations with home do seem to trigger homesickness.

Your DD will be fine - she's with her friends, having a great time. You just need to find something to distract yourself with.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 22/01/2013 21:18

Mine did this too. She went to Cyprus on a Hockey tour, they were allowed one phone call home which she sobbed throughout and then went on to have the time of her life. Hopefully your DD will have a great time too.

sandyballs · 22/01/2013 21:19

This is why mobiles should not be allowed on trips. How old is she and has she been away bedoee

specialsubject · 22/01/2013 21:38

Why were you dreading it?

Original poster
WorriesRus · 22/01/2013 21:44

She's 12 and has only been away in the UK for 3 nights maximum before.

I was dreading it because of how homesick I would get when I was young - I didn't want her to be the same. I'm sure she's not like I was. I couldn't sleep at friends without wanting to go home.

Just hope she feels a bit better in the morning, I know these things always feel much worse at night :(

OP posts:
specialsubject · 22/01/2013 21:45

she's not you. The staff will cope with any problems. She's probably quite happy and asleep by now.

don't phone again, do a few things you can't do while she is at home and then be delighted to be reunited on her return.

flow4 · 22/01/2013 22:40

Worries, it's understandable to miss your daughter, and to worry while she is away... But tbh I think you need to keep your own feelings under control, or unfortunately you risk making her feel bad.

Nobody is happy 100% of the time for a whole week! She's 'allowed' some homesickness, and even a bit of a cry. It doesn't mean she's having a terrible time; it just means she's human. :) She's missing you a bit, but she'll cope perfectly well with that, so long as you don't turn it into a drama! You said you 'expected' her to be homesick - so I think there is a fair chance she's being a Good Daughter and giving you what you expected. Please be careful not to make her feel guilty for enjoying herself. Shock :(

Re-read the good bits of your original text: "She's been looking forward to it for ages... Had a flurry of happy texts and a very happy phonecall on Sunday..." See? She is having a good time! Grin

Try to resist calling her again, and if you do speak to her, tell her how pleased and proud you are that she is enjoying herself and being so independent.

Be brave. Let her enjoy herself! She'll soon be home and then you can feel proud of yourself for surviving a week apart! :)

Groovee · 25/01/2013 08:11

Ours aren't allowed their phones with them which I think is the best thing. Was it bed time? I find bedtime makes it harder for children and they get upset when they are tired and emotional.

Chopstheduck · 25/01/2013 08:18

aw, jsut let her be now, find something to keep yourself occupied and I bet she will come home full of happy stories.

My dd has never taken her phone away with her, and I do agree it is better - she always has a fantastic time.

I can remember being 12 and homesick too, but I still remember having a fab time as well.

skyblue11 · 25/01/2013 16:28

My DD went on a french exchange and she had an anxiety attack where every time she ate she was sick. She would call me from their laptop on messenger and sit crying in front of me it was awful as she couldn't keep any food down. I think it was the fact she was in a strange country with people she didn't know and couldn't understand them! After the weekend when she had slept and got together with her friends she was OK, bit it's so hard....

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