Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

14 yr old DD travel abroad - WWYD?

12 replies

blanche12 · 03/10/2012 06:08

Our DD has been accepted as part of a team to travel abroad to a competition for 10 days. Its 4 teenagers with one adult, and she (the adult) is taking her 10 month old baby with. We are concerned that there isn't enough supervision - its not clear whether the kids are sharing a hostel room with just each other, or with strangers, in principle they can't go anywhere without the adult - but surely she will be looking after her baby in the evenings? Our DD is desperate to go....are we being sensible by saying no, or overprotective?

OP posts:
Rosa · 03/10/2012 06:20

What the adult is taking the baby...erm another adult is needed. What happens if the baby is sick and adult has to stay in the accom or god forbid seek medical help. This person has to be responsible for the other 4 people even if 14 is better than 10 IYKWIM. They will still be abroad , airports or whatever. YANBU at all, I would want to know more about the arrangements and also speak to the adult with the baby......

FergusSingsTheBlues · 03/10/2012 06:22

Why is the baby going!? No, I wouldnt be happy - we all know how much attention babies need snd it sounds like your child will not possibly be supervised sufficiently.

Why not call lady directly?

cory · 03/10/2012 08:15

How much do you trust your dd- how much supervision does she need? Will there be clear rules about where she is allowed to go, when she has to be in bed etc? When I was a couple of years older my parents were happy for me to stay alone in a hotel in a foreign country because they were confident that I would stick exactly to our agreement. It was a combination of knowing the deal was thought through and that I was trustworthy.

dexter73 · 03/10/2012 11:25

I would be most concerned about sharing a room with strangers. I certainly wouldn't want my daughter to do this. I think you need to find out exactly what arrangements have been made.

stopcallingmefrank · 03/10/2012 12:08

I would also be concerned that there isn't enough supervision. I would want to know more detail about the arrangements before I said yes or no.

Make a list of your questions and ask them of the adult or organisers of the trip. Will they be sharing a room in the hostel with strangers? Will they be sharing a room in the hostel with the baby? What will they be doing in the evenings? Will the teenagers be with the adult at all times? What plans have they put in place in case the needs of the baby conflict with the needs of the teenagers? What plans have they put in place in case of any emergency?

To me it's not only a matter of how much you trust your dd. At this age IMO they are fine if everything goes well. It is when something unexpected happens or there is some kind of problem that they need adult help and support.

bigbluebus · 03/10/2012 15:04

I would say you need a minimum of 2 adults on that trip even without the baby. What happens if one of the teenagers takes ill and needs to go to hospital - are the others all left unsupervised.Or if the adult becomes ill - the teenagers are left to fend for themselves and a baby!!!

Yes, a parent could take their own 4 children abroad alone - but this is an adult with someone elses children.......and a baby. I would not be happy in these cirumstances.

Theas18 · 03/10/2012 16:07

What ever happens I think you need 2 adults.

HeathRobinson · 03/10/2012 16:12

I'd say no.

LemonBreeland · 03/10/2012 16:14

I agree that 2 adults is a minimum. What happens if one of the girls is ill an needs to be taken to hospital etc. There is nobody else to supervise the others.

As for the baby going, I wouldn't be terribly happy about that either. You really need to investigate the details.

MiniMonty · 05/10/2012 05:04

Not sure a new Mum with a 10 month old baby can be considered "an adult" for any practical purpose. Certainly sure I wouldn't put my 14yr old in her sole care within a group of other teens. Definitely wouldn't have this going on abroad. Too many variables. Too many obvious risk factors. Surprised it's being suggested as viable and safe.

How does new mum deal with a stroppy teen stomping off in one direction, the others hanging around in another, as baby needs feeding / changing and then it rains while all are out and about in an Italian suburb or French field. Or illness for one or many of the party? Or the obvious "I've lost my wallet / handbag / tickets / keys".

Naaah - not a goer on any level. Definite recipe for disaster.

Would make a decent 30 minute comedy but real life = mayhem and misery.

ShobGiteTheKnid · 05/10/2012 05:20

Could you offer to go too? 2 adults needed for sure.

BackforGood · 05/10/2012 17:17

Regardless of the baby, you need 2 adults to take other people's children anywhere.
The adults need to think of their own safguarding, if nothing else.
Also the point about what to do if the party have to split up.
If a person is volunteering / being paid to look after teens, then they can hardly do this if they are looking after a baby.
What kind of an organisation says they are willing to take teens abroad, without letting parents have all the details in the first place.

No, you're not being over protective, you are being sensible, but I'd make it clear to the organisers why.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page