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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

What time does your teen have to be home?

16 replies

hadagutsfull · 07/09/2012 21:03

Just that really. DS (just 15) is out with his mates. They're just hanging around, not at a club or anything. He's been told to be in at 10 but is unhappy with this, saying his mates are allowed to stay out later at the weekend. Is 10pm about right?

OP posts:
Redglow · 07/09/2012 21:08

I would have liked mine in earlier. I think if you are too strict they start staying at other peoples houses so they can be out later, mine had to be in at eleven at the weekend.

Original poster
hadagutsfull · 07/09/2012 21:24

Erm i'm a bit confused red you said you would have liked them in earlier but they stayed out till 11- do you mean 10 is a bit early? Even if they're just hanging around, not at someone's house? Apologies for being dim, it's been a long week!

OP posts:
MrsWeasley · 07/09/2012 21:31

My DS (aged 15) comes in at 9:30-9:45.
In the school holidays I allowed until 10:30 but that because it takes 20 minutes to walk home from his girlfriends house. They dont stay there they are usually just walking around but he walks her home and then comes straight home. He always phones me is he wants to be out a tad later and he doesnt go out everynight.

Original poster
hadagutsfull · 07/09/2012 21:31

Erm i'm a bit confused red you said you would have liked them in earlier but they stayed out till 11- do you mean 10 is a bit early? Even if they're just hanging around, not at someone's house? Apologies for being dim, it's been a long week!

OP posts:
Original poster
hadagutsfull · 07/09/2012 21:40

Ooh sorry didn't mean to post that twice!

MrsW that sounds reasonable - my DS is not that reasonable! He's out every night & keeps pushing to stay out later. A girl in his year is having a partyd on Sunday at a local club & it's going on till midnight! I don't stay up that late myself when i have work the next day Shock

OP posts:
Shesparkles · 07/09/2012 21:46

Mine isn't allowed to " just hang around", but at the weekend when I know where she is (easily checked if I had the urge) and she's coming home on the bus with a friend, it's 11pm. I'd rather it was earlier, but then she'd be coming home on her own, so it's the lesser of the evils

Shesparkles · 07/09/2012 21:47

I should have said, she's 15

Original poster
hadagutsfull · 07/09/2012 21:53

Yes, much better to come home with others. Tbh all the teens I know locally just hang around. They play football sometimes but the nights are drawing in so they can't do that much longer. It's an in between age - not one i'm enjoying!

OP posts:
Margerykemp · 07/09/2012 21:57

I'd rather they were out later but at a specific place with specific friends doing a specific activity than 'hanging around' at any time.

Why do you let him 'hang around'?

Or am I just naive about teens?

Redglow · 07/09/2012 21:58

Sorry what I meant was ideally I would like my children in earlier than that. In practice it did not happen. If you can get your child in at that time that's good.

My daughters friends had really strict parents and they all said they were at each others houses ans stayed out all night. At least I had my daughter in although later than I would like.

Original poster
hadagutsfull · 07/09/2012 22:15

Margery that's what i'd prefer ideally but as he & his friends have got older that's the way things have gone & it seems to be the norm. I used to do it myself years ago Blush

Redglow Thanks, I'm with you now! I agree it's better for them to be out later rather than lying etc about where they are.

It's so difficult to get it right during these teenage years, to give them enough freedom but not too much.

OP posts:
SecretSquirrels · 08/09/2012 10:18

My teenage DSs only go out occasionally, so no experience of this.
I do think 10 is way too late for a school night, though about right for his age at a weekend.
I would say no to a party on a Sunday.

GoldandOrangeAnnunziata · 08/09/2012 13:16

I think I'd go half ten. It's hard to say though- it really depends on where they are for me.

Original poster
hadagutsfull · 08/09/2012 17:14

secret make the most of your DSs not wanting to go out! He's not allowed out that late on school nights. If he was somewhere specific he could stay later at the weekend.

The party issue is still under discussion - I'm leaving it to DH to have the final word!

OP posts:
BackforGood · 15/09/2012 19:51

I agree with some of the others, it's not the time per se that is fixed in this house, but they need to be doing something. So, if it were a party, I wouldn't have a problem (at a weekend/holiday) with it finishing at midnight. Other things finish at certain times, and that's when my dc have to come home. He will go to the park sometimes, but then they usually do that straight from school and it winds up when they are all too hungry to carry on or when all the others have gone and there's no-one left to play footie with. He wouldn't go out to nowhere specific after tea, IYSWIM.
ds is 16 and out a lot
dd is 13 but not out nearly so much.

concernedparent1 · 20/09/2012 16:08

After 12 they have to give a time for when they're going to be back and where they're going to be. 10pm does sound a tad early.

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