DD of 16 sleeping with older guy.

[MolElizabeth]

hello ladies, my daughter of 16 has told me she is with a 25 year old male. im uncertain of how to react as usually i would say never... however there is 6years between me and my partner. im asking for some advice on what i should do about this and what should i say to her?

there are 9 years between me and DH but we didn't get together till I was 22. However I think that emotionally and in maturuty terms there is a big gap between 16 and 25 so I would be concerned.
As for what to say, it depends on how you communicate. I guess it will be hard to tell her not to see him but maybe explore how she sees the relationship and take it from there.

I was 17 and my dh was 23 when we started going out which isn't so different. I would ask to meet him to see what he is like.

When I was 15 I started dating a 22 year old. My Mam and Dad were VERY against it and made no secret of this fact. My dad actually banned me from seeing him (he was also a Goth, which REALLY did not help there perception of him). To his credit we did not sleep together until I was 16 and he was a right gent for a lot of our relationship. We were together 8 years, got married, the lot.

however, I truly believe that if my parents had not made such a song and dance it would never have lasted. I stuck with him out of sheer rebellion and a 'how dare you tell me what to do' attitude and this is the biggest regret of my life.

I'm not sure what 'advice' I'm trying to give, just offering a different perspective I guess

I can understand your concern. I agree that I would want to meet him to judge for myself. I'd also be asking myself what a 25 year old sees in a 16 year old, but that's just me.

There are 9 years between DH and I, but we got together when I was 21. Like Friday, it is totally different at that age as you are more mature.

You do really need to meet him.