My ds bedroom was a real mess. So I sat him down and had a long talk with him about him taking responsibility for his room etc etc. Next week I noticed an amazing difference. I told him how happy I was and shared my impact on his behavior with my friends. The weeks past and it was still great. I spoke to my dh about what a wonderful relationship I had with him and look here was the proof that he took on board what I said.
It was only when our cleaner approached me saying how she was struggling with the additional task of a bedroom to clean within her given hours, as she had always just done the family areas that I began to realise that maybe I wasn't having the tremendous impact that I thought I was. After I left for work he had added a little ps to the note I always left for her with, you guessed it his room on.
His room is back to being a tip no matter what I say!!