sex texts..should I contact boy or is it normal?

[febel]

Sorry folks, me again..just a quickie...having found sextexts on my 14 yr old daughter's phone yesterday, and both her and him are guilty of it, should I phone/text lad or mum and say, by the way I have seen them and don't do it any more..or words along those lines. Or, having had words with daughter, do I not contact lad at all and hope won't happen again? Naturally daughter has begged me not to do anything . I realise contacting him (he's 14 too) or his mum will embarress daughter and the lad but perhaps it will stop it then?

Personally I don't think teenagers seem to realise that once things are written down and sent via phone/facebook, they can be SEEN and READ by anyone.

She has probably learnt her lesson and will probably tell the young lad in question. And to be honest, i remember being that age and these kids always find a way around it! I know i did! I suppose i should also say, at least they arent actually "doing" anything. Although i do understand how you feel. Maybe she will think a bit more in future!

Of course you can't ring the boy or his Mum. Your daughter and her bf are growing up. They are going to do things you don't like. Sextets are not the end of the world. If you want her to be able to talk to you and trust you through the challenging years ahead you have to be calm & listen to her, not 'go off on one' at the slightest thing. Of course it's wise to explain how this could be embarassing if he shows his mates/teacher confiscates his phone/his mother reads them or whatever and that it's really not a great idea... but it's really not the end of the world.

I would leave it there unless photos are involved. Sending photos of scantily dressed individuals is rife around here. If the recipient passes these on to a friend, or anyone, they could be charged with supplying child pornography!!!

If there are photos of your daughter I think you need to contact lad and ensure he deletes the.

If photos are being passed generally, well I have been know to ring the school of those involved and suggest they do (another) assembly on the legalities of this. Perhaps involving the local Police?

I really think young people are not aware of the problems that this practise causes for all.

Sermon over!

I agree with shakti - leave it alone unless there are photo's involved. Just make sure your daughter knows you're trusting her and let her know you feel a bit disappointed in her as things can be misconstrued, especially by teenage boys, and the last thing she needs is to get a name for herself. Fingers crossed she'll have learnt her lesson.
Good luck xx

Thanks everyone for all that, don't think I will phone then. I just want to make sure it doesn't happen again, and in a way to make them THINK before writing stuff down! I know it's easier to text stuff than say it..can't imagine either of them would say such stuff verbally to each other. She has grown up a lot quicker than my othe rtow, parttly being youngest I guess and partly the company she keeps. Thought she'd learnt her lesson before (this isn't the first time) and she agreed with all I said..but ob was too tempting not to indulge again. Trouble is she seems to be linking being liked by lads, and sexting with self esteem a bit too much and that worries me.

i was in a really good relationship around this time and my mum found sextexts and stopped him coming over and my dad had a real go at the guy, never forgiven them for it, me and him broke up over it and now we're getting back together five years later as we still like each other, and we never stopped either and it made me wanna get my own back. most teenagers will talk dirty, nearly all my friends at that age did its natural, hormones and wanting to be an adult. i know its scary thinking your daughter isn't being very innocent anymore, but that's growing up, i hope she does stop though i can lead to bad stuff, i think you shouldn't worry unless you find pictures then maybe come down harder

My 14 yrs old DD got involved sending & receiving rude texts & photos to a young lad aged 14, I stopped it by texting the lad that I would contact his parents and the local policy if he did not delete the photos immediately and stop texting my DD. I then confiscated my DD phone. DD didn't see the problem, unbelievable!