17th party - ban alcohol or not?

[sarva]

Hi, My DD is organising a 17th birthday party at home. She's not bothered about alcohol herself, but as some of the guests are already 18 (she's young for her year) they may bring their own. She thinks it's a bit embarrasssing to ban alcohol completely, but says we could ban spirits, as a lot of people do that. She says she is deliberately not inviting anyone who drinks a lot, as she doesn't want it to be "that sort of party". Any tips/advice?

I think that banning spirits seems like a good idea.

I can't imagine a party for 17/18 yr olds without copious amounts of booze so yes, I think beer/cider/alcopops/wine fine, but try to discourage them from bringing spirits. They will probably bring vodka anyway, though.

Could you put on the invitation that alcohol will be provided so they don't need to bring their own and then just have a very weak punch / lager on offer?

Yes, that's what I'm thinking, but they may bring vodka like mumblechum suggests. The plea of "no spirits, please" may at least make them think twice. The guest list is now up to 38. The cap was supposed to be 30, but I've said definitely no more. Thanks for you suggestions.

The 18yos WILL turn up with their own booze, it's like a show-offy thing, they are used to exercising the adult right/privilege of contributing.

Ugh, I think I'd ban spirits & let them bring them own.

Do you guys find it's fine for you to hang around on the premises? I can't believe I'd want a booze-laden party to happen without me being present.

My DS had a party in June and I was advised not to say don't bring drink because they will anyway, then they'll have what you provide, plus their own! Also, I worried about being responsible for the effects of what we provided. In the end, we said no spirits and no wine ( although in the clear up, we found an empty quarter bottle of vodka, and one of brandy!). We provided lots of cans of soft drinks, and lots of food - pizzas and nibbles. Also cornettos, which went down very well! The party went fine, but not a relaxing experience! Good luck!

Thanks for advice - I always forget teenage boys are permanently ravenous - pizza and cornetto's sound like a plan - perhaps if I stuff them with enough food it will soak up the alcohol!

We've been asked to go out for dinner on the evening, so not to be around and ensure younger DD is out of the picture, but as the party doesn't finish 'til 12.30, we will struggle to stay out that late, so assume we will come back about 11.30... hopefully when it's all winding down...(not!) Oh no, dreading it already.

Personally, I would either not go out, or come home much earlier. If they're nice kids (as I assume they are!) they really won't mind you popping in every now and then, collecting empties, ensuring enough food is eaten, etc. I would also advise party-proofing the party area as much as poss eg. Taking up rugs, moving any fragile and/or valuable ornaments and table lamps, putting an absorbent throw on the sofa (we used a quilted king size bed cover, which DS took to the laundrette next day, and learnt how to use it!) I'm sure it will be fine, it just makes you feel calmer when you're well prepared! Do let us know how it goes!

yes, please, do update to tell us what you did & how it went.